"vlad" poems
Classical Trumpism: Judas makes a strong and powerful betrayal.
Neo-Classical-Trumpism: *Adolph is a good friend of mine. He makes a strong
and powerful argument regarding purity.*
Contemporary Trumpism: I love and trust my little buddy, Kim.
Modern Trumpism: *Vlad, whom I trust with my marriage, makes a
reel strong and powerful argument.*
Trumpism: Sad, Sad, Sad. Witch hunt. There was no collusion.
Neo-Trumpism: *Crooked Malia and Sasha are to blame for the
collusion with Canada, Mexico and South America*.
Jul 23, 2018
Jul 23, 2018 at 1:18 PM UTC
The tavern roof was smokey
with a pall of blueish ash.
The juke box was a- booming
as it played "The Monster Mash".
A giant puffed a burning witch
whilst smoke rings he exhaled....
While victims of our neighbor,
Vlad...on stakes were all impaled.
The Faceless Man was grinning...
from ear to missing ear.
The hanged man turned his twisted neck
to sip a mug of beer.
The Headless Horseman shouted
for an aspirin or three.
He popped them down his gullet
where his head was meant to be.
The zombies waited tables
and the werewolf tended bar.
Mothra was the carhop
and took orders car to car.
Godzilla worked the griddle
and served burgers ala carte.
Dracula complained about the steak
caught in his heart.
Ghosts and ghouls were dancing
with abandon on the stage
While cyborgs did "the robot"
'cause they thought it was the rage.
The mummy came unraveled
as we took him for a "spin"
As Frankenstein played tuba
to contribute to the din.
Igor brought "the monster"
and then Freddie brought his claw.
Jason brought his butcher knife
and his buddy from "The Saw".
The guillotine was working
and the raven refereed
So nevermore would pardons
be
allowed to intercede.
The pendulum was swinging
to the beating of my heart.
I hoped that I would wake up soon...
then did so...with a START!
Halloween is coming. So, I guess
I should prepare.
Watch out for bars with men from Mars...
'cause BEASTIES party there!
Oct 23, 2017
Oct 23, 2017 at 6:45 AM UTC
"What is a man?!
A miserable Pile of Secrets!" he shoutes
then he sprung his attack
with the holy whip of my ancestors in my hand
I intended to make it his epitaph.
we battled for hours on end,
using holy water and dodging fireballs that would've meant my doom
when I had him beaten, he transformed into a grotesque demon
which also distorted the room
I didn't know which I was battling, my own head or Count Vlad Tepes Dracul
Anyway, after one final strike, The Undead terror had finally been slain
I hoped and prayed that no-one would ever speak his name
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 11:58 AM UTC
---
Once upon a time
In a land so far away
There was a wretched kingdom
Were a vampire held sway
He was very ancient
Handsome as a knave
Dressed in black and silken garb
Was said to be quite brave
But such a cruel creature
He devoured the towns
The soldiers were all petrified
Would not defend the crown
So the King of the castle
Searched both far and wide
For mighty men of valor
To defend the countryside
Finally up north
He found a daring band
Of golden headed Vikings
To defend his failing land
The company of Norsemen
Could not be laidback
They rallied their army
And decided to attack!
They put no garlic round their necks
No ash stakes did they carry
They knew not the vampire ways
And so they were not wary
But oh! What valiant men!
They made quite a sight!
Scaling the vampiric castle walls -
IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!
The vampire, Vlad the terrible,
Made a crimson flood
Destroyed every one of them
And feasted on their blood!
It was before morning
The darkest witching hour
Vlad finished dispatching them
His countenance was dour
Then a light came streaking
From the pitch black sky -
It was a Valkyrie!
She made a fearsome cry!
"You! Vlad the terrible!"
The ghoul looked up, aghast!
"You feasted on my Norsemen -
But I am here at LAST!!!"
The mighty female warrior
Shook back her golden mane
"You've killed many villagers
But won't do it AGAIN!!!"
The brilliant armored woman
Faced off the evil lord
He laughed, "You cannot slay me!
No! Not with that sword!"
"And for all your armor
What do you suppose?
Your sweet delicious throat
Is slender... and EXPOSED!!!
The Valkyrie laughed
She threw back her hair
She let fly her sword
It scissored through the air!!!
The dreaded Vlad was impaled
But NOT through his chest
Through his very garments
The great sword came to rest
To a TREE the monster stuck
Like a fly caught with a pin
He could not free himself!
And he saw the rising SUN!!!
He struggled against his cape
He'd have none of THAT!
But Vlad could not break the sword
So he became a bat!
Up he flew to escape his fate
But a ray of sun broke through
With an arc he burnt to spark
IT DESTROYED VLAD AS HE FLEW!!!
The Valkyrie, triumphant,
Cried out, "it is I!!!
For when there is a battle,
I decide who lives and dies!!!
I decide the outcome!
Tis not by happenstance...
Won't see you in Valhalla
*You never had a chance!!!*
So ended the battle
The Valkyrie WON.
The outcome was decided...
...Before it was begun!!!
SoulSurvivor
5/6/2015
May 6, 2015
May 6, 2015 at 11:50 AM UTC
**** the Police
Coming straight out the underground
Young brother got it bad
Cuz I look Mexican and I'm brown
Can't forget to do diarrhea
on the sheriff deputies
Cuz you wear a uniform and a badge
think you deserve respect like a G
Biggest violaters of civil rights
in the ******* land
take advantage of everybody
cuz you think we're stupid and you can
Where are you going? What's your name? Are you on Probation?
California is not a stop and identify state
How about I cuff your ***
Take you to an alley and let out all my frustration
Am I under arrest?
Or am I free to go is what I ask
Boo bop & slit your throat
come up from behind with a ******* Chucky mask
I'm the worst ******* nightmare
there ever has been
A conscious, Chicano, 5 percenter
Moorish American free national citizen
How about next time you **** one of us
We hunt you down, home invade your family
and launch you all of a cliff in a bus.
Quick to leave a pig bleeding left for dead in a ***** ditch
***** sewed to your mouth, you wanna be me punk *** *****
Or we'll cut your head off
and stick it to a thousand foot pole
start the vampire nation, count Vlad's idea yea I stole.
14th amendment, 85 percenter
corporate security guard
driving a big *** truck with your undersized *****
and you think your all hard, you ******* ******
You're obvious and pathetic
I got no time to play
We don't die we multiply and the movement is here to stay.
Get off me stupid I ain't signing no autographs
Che Guevara reincarnated now who has the last laugh?
Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 6:48 PM UTC
So they hacked some computers.
"No big deal" you may say,
"Since their influence steered things
toward the right way"
"They just didn't respect us,
that's why the attack.
So I place all the blame
on the Dems and Barack"
"So we'll get nice and cozy,
Vladimir and me,
since there is just so much
upon which we agree"
"We want to be strongmen
who'll shape history
and we're both such examples
of virility"
"And we'll handle the media
through fear and attack
to ensure truth and balance
shall never come back"
"Admiration and power
is what we adore,
it's the one greatest cause
that we truly live for"
So, Mr. Trump...
When you're there in the Oval
and Europe's alarmed
'cause in Prague and in Warsaw.
the Russians, well armed,
have crossed o'er the borders
and come to reclaim
their former domininons,
then who will you blame?
So why this great bromance?
What's your motivation?
Why would you align
with Vlad and his nation?
Could it be business ties?
Or maybe high debt?
Or maybe dark secrets
you wish they'd forget?
I do not want to think
that it could be such things
but the Russians sure look
like they're pulling your strings.
Feb 20, 2017
Feb 20, 2017 at 8:30 PM UTC
By: Cedric McClester
The first black president
Must have made one hell of an impression
On the man who followed him
Directly in succession
He seems to want to unravel
Whatever is at his discretion
In order to rob the legacy
Of the man whose name means blessing
He did his best to chase
Obamacare away
Without an adequate replacement
To make its absence okay
Now it’s gas emissions
Being lowered by the EPA
I guess fossil fuel behemoths
Are sadly here to stay
And on the international scene
The man has been a wreck
He left the Paris Climate Accord
And gives our allies no respect
Then ***** up to Vlad Putin
A man of greater intellect
And pulled out of the Iran Nuclear deal
To spite Obama I suspect
And when he can denigrate him
He never misses a chance
Much like a woman scorned
Caught in a bad romance
People are getting tired
Of this dismal dance
They can predict his moves
Four moves in advance
Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2018. All rights reserved.
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 3:08 PM UTC
there's a crazzzy devil
in
the white house
twisting our nation
into a denizens den
a tub of **** in a suit
ascending ***** matter
in
a clogged toilet
a black plague
we have a president with the attention span
of sea clams
an emotional ******* drip of impetuosity
a spiraling fit of rage
a snarling delusional dog
narcissist in a warping mirror
a pathetic complainer
a cyst on the body politic
clot
open sore
seething pustule
piggish **** lover
gangsters dupe
fascist wana be
heil heil
god your a pile
making Russia great again
licking Vlad's *****
protecting your assets no doubt
and hissing tweets
at war with with only everything
and figments of a disturbed imagination
a real windmill killer
his mouth
the devils mark
a yapping compulsive lier
forked tongued fury
possessed to a fault
by the vainglories
of money and ego out of bounds
the biggest and the best
at being
the very worst and a pest
grand royalty of ridicule
*****
a ham ****** cartoon nightmare
and clumsy stumbling bore
a seething volcano of perpetual excrement
reading from the book of chaos
aberrations of enemies
a war room president
at war with his own citizens
huddled in a panic chamber
burns and cuts himself
with his own hot sharp words
as there thrown back at him
a bully getting bullied
a ripper getting ripped
the brains of a lizards eyelid
in a shadeless socket
pulp hearted orangutan
menace to society
his mottled soul
like a black sun
on the verge
of a black hole
a hell mill of decrepitude
a dark creep creeping
tarnishing our beautiful country
lights dim
America
there's a devil
in the white house
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 5:00 PM UTC
Poor Putin is a dangerous psychopath
No one likes to mention that one fact
He is more like an ape than a human
Sick little poor wasted Humanoid Vlad
The Pope must be an openly psychopath
Just the way he dress himself so foolish up
Wonder if he is just enormously beautiful
Naked with deadly eyes like Humanoid Vlad.
****** was a sick nasty **** psychopath
A whole nation following his death path
Now there is a ******* evil ****** Caliphate
Nothing to compare with Humanoid Vlad.
I guess we all could be like psychopaths
Take one deep look into our monstrous souls
It contains mostly of neurons and pure fat
We got no free will just like Humanoid Vlad.
*Humanoid Vlad
In ice cold motion
Humanoid Vlad
No love and no notion
Humanoid Vlad
Done it all calculated
Humanoid Vlad
His time hopefully faded*
Mar 16, 2015
Mar 16, 2015 at 7:07 PM UTC
originally it reads as:
**** i am drunk: do sudoku drunk!
what a ******
x x x x x x x x x
x 7 6 x 5 9 3 x x
x x 8 x 7 x x 1 x
x x 2 x 1 x x 5 x
x x x 3 x 7 1 2 x
1 6 9 x 2 x x x x
x x x 4 x 1 7 8 x
9 4 x 7 x x x 6 x
x 5 x 6 x x x x x
now i really want to learn something,
but i don't seem to want to...
the end result?
3 1 5 8 4 6 9 7 2
2 7 6 1 5 9 3 4 8
4 9 8 2 7 3 5 1 6
7 3 2 9 1 8 6 5 4
5 8 4 3 6 7 1 2 9
1 6 9 5 2 4 8 3 7
6 2 3 4 9 1 7 8 5
9 4 1 7 8 5 2 6 3
8 5 7 6 3 2 4 9 1...
bu there's a narrative to mind...
the ) game,
half an hour's worth of game after inserting
the first six -
(a
b) matrixes -
the theta-phi debate crosswords and blind-spots -
but the narrative goes like this:
a. 7 1
1 5 )
x 7 1 2
"zooming in with a nibbled into 6",
b. 5 | 5
7
1
x
x 2 x
x
x
x
c. 2nd 5
6 x x 4 x 1 7 8 x (5)
d. 1st 5
5 x x 4 x 1 7 8 x
9 4 x 7 x x x 6 x
x 5 x 6 x x x x x
e. x x x x x 2 x x x
x 7 6 | x x x | 9 4 x
x x 8 1 6 9 x 5 x
f. x x x
x 5 9
x 7 x
x 1 x x 5 x
3 x 7
5 2 x
4 x 1
7 x 5 7 8 5
6 x x
(more than or haczyk, or háček
a hook: in saying: oi! geezer!
traffic that 'un!
but still more than or less
than in Copernican lingua?
dunno... well: that's two smokin' barrels' worth
of info for the inauguration -
'cos' pretty face over 'ere was half a wit's know-churn
off a ***** 'now what i mean?'
they necessarily say it in sprechen glutton Danzig
so you look smart, and not like some artful dodgy
podger:
n'es pas? twinkle tweezer ****
oi right and that ****** off came with the touch
of a knuckle: 'cos' i wasn't preaching trigonometry:
nor was i ******* kidding.
down the east end they call us Vlad-sodden
impaler imperialistic -
after the little debacle we 'av a laugh and drink
a bottle of *****
then we do the rickety chance of engaging in
baptismal fire with the Jamaicans -
or so you know. *well, wouldn't you believe it,
look how far being called vermin gets ya!*
all the way to Buckingham Palace me says!
and some dared to say: ransack Sicily.
blah ha ha... your's a tongue on the leash!
g. x - 4? / 3?
5
7
1
x - 4?
2
x
x
x
h. 6 2 x 4 x 1 7 8 5
6 2 x 4 9 1 7 8 5
6 2 3 4 9 1 7 8 5
(breakthrough point!)
i. 7
x
1
5
2
x
j. x 7 6 1 5 9 3 x x
k. 7 l. 7 m. 7
x x 4
1 1 1
5 5 5
2 2 2
x 3 3
8 8 8
6 6 6
9 9 9
n. 6 2 3 4 9 1 7 8 5
9 4 x 7 8 5 x 6 x
x 5 x 6 x x x 1 x
o. 6 2 3
9 4 x
8 5 x
p. 6 2 3 4
9 4 1 | 7
8 5 7 6
the 1st square: 6 2 3
9 4 1
8 5 7.
2nd square:
x x
3 x
x x
x x
1 x
x x
7 5
9 4 1
2 6 3
7 8 5;
q. square no. 2 anti linear:
4 9 1 4 9 1
7 8 5 : / v. 7 8 5
6 x x 6
ergo
4 9 1
7 8 5
6 3 2
3rd square:
7 8 5 7 8 5
2 6 3 | 2 6 3
x 9 x x 9 1....
subsequently: 8 5 7 6 3 2 4 9 1
hence: 1 6 9 5 2 x x 3 7
": 1 6 9 5 2 4 8 3 7
": 2 7 6 1 5 9 3 4 8
(interlude):
4 x 8 x 7 x x x(?)
r. x s. 7 3 2
2 x x x
4 1 6 9: 3
7 2
x 4
1 7
6 5
9 1
8 6
9
8
t. 1 then: 1
7 7
x 9
3 3
x 8
6 6
2 2
4 4
5 5
then 7 3 2
5 8 4
1 6 9 then 5 8 4 3 6 7 1 2 9
then 4 2
5 9
7 8
1 3
6
u. 7 3 2 x 1 x x 5 4
then
6 5 4 9 1 8
1 2 9 | 3 6 7
8 3 7 5 2 4
then
6
9
3
8 8 4 6
7 1 5 9
4 2 7 3
1
5
2
v. then 3 1 x 8 4 6 x 7 2
then 3 1 5 8 4 6 9 7 2 0
then the crescendo:
9 7 2
3 4 8
5 1 6 !
Nov 5, 2016
Nov 5, 2016 at 12:07 AM UTC
Andy loved a girl named Sandy
Bill saw a horse standing on the hill
Cory told his mother a made up story
Dave dug many a grave
Eddy loaned his teddy to Neddy
Frank bought a Sherman tank
Greg had a wooden leg
Hilton was related to Mrs Wilton
Ivan strolled in the park with Jan
Jack scratched his own back
Kyle's hair style also suited Lyle
Lance couldn't obtain a bed valance
Max paid a hefty lot of tax
Neal earned a reputation for his *** appeal
Oscar drank at the Crown and Stag bar
Paul gave ten shillings to Saul
Quentin found a silver tin
Roger was a work dodger
Sam enjoyed a portion of Virginia ham
Timmy sure knew how to shimmy
Umberto listened to the concerto
Vlad priced an inner city pad
Wing put his arm in a sling
Xain often rode on the express train
Yule took a picture of the farmer's mule
Zeal looked forward to his evening meal
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013 at 7:11 PM UTC
Vlad was not a happy man.
In fact,
he was so unhappy,
so full of rage,
he impaled
just about everybody
he met.
May 30, 2014
May 30, 2014 at 9:01 PM UTC
A stern Russian ruler named Vlad
made his minions and satellites glad
when he told them to choose
between true and fake news
(but the fakers still furthered the fad).
Jan 21, 2017
Jan 21, 2017 at 9:40 AM UTC
hard to play the idiot; likened to Mr. Bean
taking the role from
Angus Daily into a Blackadder
hurrah who? ha, ha, ha!
my eyes never
left me baffled - or washington prone:
*** to a stirrup - furthermore,
or Rushmore:
Atilla with an entourage
worthy of Genghis: of prone gravitas -
i too santa's little helper
and sinatra's
five p.m. flamingo strut's
worth of martini -
when said slavic eye then lessened
germanic white-boy fisheyed to boot...
i mean less binocular and more concentrate...
but
there's me as a fifth of Nevada in Siberia
that's always the: **** we sold Alaska!
Nicolai! oh Nicolai! Alaska! **** or
of what was the Crimea, of what is the Kremlin:
k, c, k, c, s, c, k, c, k, c, Vlad, s, t, u, v, k, c, s,
Rasputin, k, c, k, c, Boney M....
i'm still fidgety about the third ethnicity in
europe... i have to gather them attune to being
southern slav, or pseudo-turkish,
Finns, Latvians and Greeks... sounds like
falafel: all guidance to the subsequent reprimands
of necessarily tongue-tied whiplash -
gravitas with the kink and jeopardy of a gimp
fetish on the loose.
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 9:24 PM UTC
d'harga'h! urn! and sung clemency with the sign of the cross - Mr. Longinus - a baptism awaits...
in the Turkish shop buying my beers -
politics talk, gone Razza - Tahir -
talk of politics - deciphered a word:
Erdoğan (Erdoghan, Edrogrzan,
what was it - macabre radish to taste -
niechmaj sto Vlad'a reka na tle kiwnieniem raz!
i krok poza 'sztem! bogiem byka wybryk
szto?! - the crowds descended, and the kestrels
and the pigeons, and the swans,
and the migratory storks, and the seagulls -
for the Winged-Hussar Polonaise.
fluff of the wings -
the Mongol stench
reinterpreted - i rather be picking
ethnic mushrooms - kropki polka -
and koniewki - łopieniek & canary -
grünling in German, gąska zielonka - Pan Kleks -
or Chanterelle Mushroom - pepper shakerz -
kurki, tzn. te słynne grzyby.
the deviating kurka - or chickpea foetal
variant of fungus - or alias chick.
each time they pithy my assertion to claim the
ethnic brothel of Europe that Poland is for
the noble families - each time they undermine
the worker testifying the fuck-worthy ****
prior sleep - pride settles in -
and a long forgotten assertive builds up
to architectural proportions -
it just ends up being a game of throwing
copper coins into Scotland, potatoes into Ireland...
and dinosaur bones into Wales...
and post-colonial subjects into England, lazily
packed with the labels **** and Hindu;
Karzimierz Dębski could have said: it was never
supposed to come to this; shame that it did;
the safety option was exacted.
Jul 18, 2016
Jul 18, 2016 at 10:59 PM UTC
If I could be a character
In film written word or in video game
I'd have to choose the character
From which I got part of my name
Alucard, yes the Damphir son of Count Vlad Tepes
I would if I could become this powerful walking pile of vampiric unholy flesh
Now you may be wondering why? Why would I walk down his path?
Well dear reader, I'm very glad that you asked
You see, when I think of Alucard, Castlevania I confess comes to mind.
Symphony of the night more specifically, but I'll save that game for another time.
In the game he battles against insurmountable odds, just to answer the question
Is it truly right to follow the fate to which you were destined, even at the cost of many lives?
Mar 19, 2016
Mar 19, 2016 at 1:08 AM UTC
A world so bizarre
with people so shady
face after face they revel
a never ending quest knowing a person feels.
In a blink of a moment they change
sweet to opportunist that's quite a range.
No one is different me and you
not even a handful few we all have evil within
buried deep down with a hint of sin
afraid, living in denial
bubble acting like glial.
We all are collection of face
that we desire or society admires
hiding behind them
comfortable and safe we feel
but evil will always be let out
in the weakest of moment it creeps
taking on conscience worst it seeks
driven by creature of passion
all that matter is satisfaction
stooping isn't uncommon
once under spell it's basic moral.
Everyone can't be buddha
unlike him can't shut the
**** up inner Vlad
some choose to embrace, some shade
but everyone's right in their own place.
Sep 6, 2021
Sep 6, 2021 at 6:57 AM UTC
if ya down wit dis listen
to this gayrap swallow it
like a fat jaypack it is anti-macho
against crews like humpty-packo
pitch-black baby ain't no rooster
will **** wit our homo-booster
we are too star for your underground
flows are miles-high and they glitter
it is lipstick-shit we're spitting poison
and your kid sound vanishes
look your raps are always "almost"
you'll be killed by our host
like the impaler this guy vlad
your midlife-crisis is cute
eminem is now called ruth
the new rapcolor is purple
May 15, 2020
May 15, 2020 at 3:57 PM UTC
It's our tongues tingling
in a thick sea of Vlad
It's impromptu road trips
without a destination
It's all of our legs wrapped
around the same gray sheets
It's eight of us in a four seater
looking at each other through blood shot eyes
It's ****** breakfast food that makes our ribs
ache worse than laughing at our misfortune
It's twenty seven reruns of
ghost adventures at five in the morning
It's my hair in the palms of their hands
as my head hangs over the toilet
It's all of their voices talking at once
just to greet the tears on their way out
It's every phone call
that has gently eased me to sleep,
it's every makeshift sing along
that has kept me sane,
it's every tired morning
after every dark night
we spent curing each other,
It's every beautiful
friend we found in this ugly town
Mar 3, 2013
Mar 3, 2013 at 11:58 PM UTC
Lost in my make-up bag in the second drawer of my dresser
is that pale pink lipstick I forgot and made you turn around for the night of your friend’s wedding
where we showed up after the bride had already walked down the isle.
Somewhere in the depths of my car hidden
under countless grass stained blankets and empty bottles is that shirt you let me wear
that I forgot to give back after your best friend tripped
and covered me in a mix of Vlad and Red Bull only an hour after we got to the party.
Behind the first door to the left on the third shelf in the bathroom closet
is an extra toothbrush you keep for me to use when I forget mine every Saturday night.
Buried in your wallet underneath your driver’s license in a secret pocket
is a $20 bill you keep for unplanned trips to that little ice cream shop
that doesn’t accept credit cards to pay for my brownie sundae because I forgot
my wristlet back at your apartment.
Concealed in one of the basement cabinets of my parents’ house
is the anniversary present I spent more than a weeks-worth of late nights up working on
but forgot to give you because we spent that whole day in the hospital
with your grandfather who died a month later.
Locked on my computer behind multiple different passwords and codes
disguised in folders and files with ordinary but unrelated names are hundreds of snip-its
jammed with emotions of regret, lust, and jealousy
that I forgot to send because you always bought me daisies from that tiny flower shop
you knew I loved.
Laying in your bed late at night wrapped in just that fleece blanket I gave you
waiting for you to get out of the shower is the girl you forgot to tell me about.
Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 12:07 AM UTC
The enchantment of a chase through the damp forests of Celtic mysticism is a treacherous yet beautiful feature of uncertain anticipation.
Just like the bustle of the contemporary metropolis, with her predictable and hypnotic flow of trans-national capitalism, we are caught within the web of paradoxical liberty.
Thank you for igniting my torch, as I travel across spiritual plateaus where the elements reveal the spirits of the dance.
My torch has brought comfort to those stallions who lead me beyond Hungarian kingdoms where Vlad Dracul continues to reign.
Hastening into the Societas Draconistarum, the wheels of my carriage have lodged themselves into the stoney and tragic tracks of seductive ******
Please do not forget me.
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 10:46 PM UTC
Donnie and Vladimir
In a dacha by the sea
H. U. M. P.
I. N. G.
They’re ******* freedom
And democracy.
Sooner or later they will
Get to you and me.
Vlad likes people
On their knees the best.
And Donnie will do
Anything for a
Family crest.
They both want to become
Dictators for life.
They already believe they
Get to ***** your wife.
It’s only their divine right
They wonder “who could blame us?
After all, we deserve it.
Because we’re famous!”
Vlad keeps a secret
He thinks Don a fool.
But Donnie isn’t bright so
Vlad gladly takes Don
Back to school.
Vlad knows Donnie is
A ***** for acclaim
And public adulation
Which is pretty much the same
So why not use this clown
To accomplish his goals,
And steal all the money
And everyone’s souls.
So, there they are
Each gambleaholic whales
Lording it up and robbing us
When they should be in jail.
The fools that let them rule
And the ones who are to blame
But we have to sift the ashes
While the world is in flames.
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 10:14 PM UTC
Paleo-Yuppies at Work and Play
Fading slowly from the existential struggle,
Waving their MePhones about in protest,
They swarm to Starbuck’s for adjective coffees,
Uniformed in knee-pants and bulbous sneaks
And Chinese soccer tops with little checkmarks,
Their graduate degrees at parade rest,
And in confusion, suddenly-stalled careers
Raging against the thirty-something machine.
Not trusting anyone under forty,
They rustle their foam cups and resumes’
Instead of suspicious Democrats,
And demand promotions and Perrier.
They mourn pinstripes and leather briefcases,
And the old floppy disc of yesteryear,
And fumble their PowerPoint Presentations
Tho’ once they illuminated the world
With colored markers on glossy whiteboard.
They no longer play games on a Commodore
Or rock to neo-Carib fusion jazz;
Their Rush is Right baseball caps are now filed
In trays of antique curiosities
Beside the moldering hippie stuff shelved
In an adjunct of the Smithsonian
Where curricula vitae go to be eaten
By a computer virus named Vlad.
Now, as the sun sets on Ferris Bueller’s day
They count and verify their MeBook friends -
They did not change the world, not at all, but
The world changed anyway, and without them,
And in the end they love neither Jesus
Nor The Force; like Eve, they bow to an Apple.
Feb 11, 2017
Feb 11, 2017 at 3:24 PM UTC
You're the best thing I've seen ever
I know that doesn't sound too clever
But on this emotional endeavor
My intellect you sever
Until my face gets redder
Than the scarlet letter
That always looms above
Yet doesn't effect us
Because we have love
To valiantly protect us
I fear this ethereal connection
Won't pass public inspection
I expect an ice water detection
Coming from your direction
But instead I find a warm glow
That only the Lord knows
As long as I'm dwelling
On the stories you're telling
I'm in love with your name
And the concept it contains
I'm in love with your brain
And the wisdom engrained
I'm in love with your stunning appearance
And what you say when no one can hear us
You're the lad in my trailer
You're Vlad the Impaler
Becoming more than a guest in my house
Becoming my future same *** spouse
That sits like a stanchion
In our beautiful mansion
So please abide by my abode
And inhabit my dwelling
Because you've cracked my code
Now buy what I'm selling
My nihilistic nightmares keep me awake
When our intangible connection can break
I get scary dreams
Where you are you
And I am me
And we do what we do
Until I can't see the night through
But when I finally wake up
I want to find love again
No matter how things shake up
We should always be friends
Feb 28, 2018
Feb 28, 2018 at 2:29 AM UTC
"Having turned the machinery of the Gov't into
a corrupt process of getting bad press made on
his political opponents, the Bidens, by buying
false investigations on them by multiple Gov'ts,
must be impeached, now", say Dems, the people.
The impeachment investigation has received much
evidence to support it, yet, Rumputin/vlad-
the-impaler, who were illegally installed into
the Blackhouse after the 2016 election, are
stonewalling numerous other subpeonas, requests.
People have seen evidence of Donald's demanding
false investigations of the Bidens be started by
the Ukrainian President in exchange for already
allocated by Congress 1/2 a bill in anti-tank
'javelins', but not the unreturned voicemails
detailing his desires for the same 'quid pro quo'
by him to other nations, here's some. The Donald,
'Hi President of Ghana, I've heard you have some
hellified kool-aid, if you investigate the Bidens
we'll buy 100's of tons, awaiting your call.'
'Yo, yo, yo, President of Liechtenstein, just
calling to let you know if you liechten the Bidens
and find some dirt on them, we'll buy a hundred gross
of your steins, this is time sensitive, top secret,
so get back to us a.s.a.p., pppppllllleeeeeaaassse?'
''Sup, President of Guyana, must be hot in Africa,
too bad for you, all kidding aside, I hear you guys
have the best kool-aid to die for, if you investigate
the Bidens and find dirt on them we'll buy 1/4 of a
bill worth. Limited time offer, bro, sooooo holla.'
'President of Hungary, I've heard you guys are always
Hungary, so, if you want a 1000 tons of food 'b' alls you
have to do is investigate the Bidens, find dirt on them
and provide it to the Steve Bannon set-up Hungarian fox
news who'll broadcast it globally over the next year.'
The atrocities of it all is all the people can say. Does
this feel like a Greek comedy/tragedy to anyone else? A
quickie impeachment to cover-up the bigger Russiagate one
that indicts the whole of the republican conspiracy, just in
time for vlad, etc., to hack our next presidential election?
Oct 4, 2019
Oct 4, 2019 at 5:16 PM UTC