My world is full of bright blue skies,
flowers, rabbits, butterflies,
giant mountains, ancient trees,
lands of green and golden seas.

In my world, tears are waterfalls,
and happiness can shatter walls,
anger, the greatest adversity,
while fear defines reality.

In my world, truth is in disguise,
More often, truth transforms to lies,
which i suddenly regard as true,
can red transform if you believe it's blue?

In my world, I see in black and white,
things are either all wrong, or all right,
inbetween is undefined,
and any other veiw is blind.

In my world, words can fragment lives,
and allies wield imaginary knives,
the wounds they cause will never heal,
but pain is vital if you want to feel.

In my world, seasons are hours long,
But still the seasons are just as strong,
From rain to snow, darkness to shine,
Changing with no warning sign.

My world is as beautiful as hideous,
As honest as insidious,
My world is as ambiguous as clear,
and just as gentle as austere.

But my world exists inside my head,
Where your feet will never tread,
And so you can not understand
To you this is my fantasy land.

I am an east coast drifter
Living from a suite case.
A different couch every week.
I have no proof of address.
not as if i was receiving mail any.
From city to city.
no place to call a home.
but i wouldn't call it a pity

I have met the worst of people.
i have seen the worst of humanity.
but all that is overcome by good.
in my travels i have become overwhelmed by beauty.
I have learned the ambiguity that stirs fear in a man.
only to see his ambitions walk him through the dark unknown world.

I have lived a wonderful life
in some unsavory places.
but in these places i have found our purpose in life.

its struggle to find our way.
its the adventure.
its those nights spent on the couch.
looking for a home that made my life full of adventure.
the wisdom came from those bus rides to the next city.
the love came from those good and bad i met along the way.

Deliberations are a veil of pigmentation
as I see the transparency of every thought.
a nebula of ideas woven in view, can you
see the curvatures that expand outwards.

Bright moments illuminate the surroundings,
as reflections are seen as the weave of conciseness
exhales in majestic colours.

A tapestry of interpretations which is visualized
differently by everyone. All is vivid in the lucidity
of all ideas that form and coalesce. I could almost
reach out and touch this moment of reflection.

Maybe I'm meant to be a wallflower,
Watching others grow.
Lurking in their shawdows,
Constantly keeping low.

Maybe I'm meant to be a wallflower,
Plucking my petals one by one.
Praying that maybe I'll be picked,
Cause I have never seen the sun.

Maybe I'm meant to be a wallflower,
It's my destiny to be alone,
I think that by now its obvious,
My future is set in stone.

Maybe I'm meant to be a wallflower,
The shyest of them all.
I know that I will never branch out,
I am meant to stay this small.

Wallflowers can be beautiful,
That I know is true.
And I don't mind being a wallflower,
Because I kind of like the veiw.

Hold on, I'll impress you
I'll change your veiw of life
Hold on, I will amaze you
Just wait, don't leave me behind.

I'm growing, I swear
Don't you want to see me change?
I'm so much better, hold on.
Just.. I  need time, please wait.

Ahem.....................!

Ralf is a player, and sometimes he loves to play Ruff.
But tonight he was patient, because he was with a girl named Patience...
Ralf and Patience didn't speak the same language...but since Ralf got expirience; He understands a girls body language.
And he also understands that to get inside a girls body, he must first get inside her mind...

#If beer and child-support were the same price, would guys still buy it?

if I met my seven year old self today
what would I tell him?
what would I say?
would I warm him of the future
of the bad things yet to come?
or would I leave him to be naive
to keep having fun?
because my seven year old self
believed the world was a perfect place
would he recognize himself
when he looked into my face?
even though I've leaned so much more
and 8 years have passed since then
I would give up everything I have
to veiw life through his eyes again.

This could be my last sunny sky,
No light through the window dancing on by.
This could be the last day I have to shine,
feel that freedom can all be mine.
This could be my last day outside,
No more cages and bars.
This this could be the last joy tear I cry.
This last day happiness is mine.
This could be the last sunny day,
Cloud cover moon,
Goodbye Mr.Sun,never see you soon.
This could be my last sunny day,
No more freedom,locked in chains.
And when tomorrow comes,
Forever may I still be happy.
Foggy grumpy clouds blocking the sun's veiw.
Everyone needs foggy clouds,stars with no lights.
That's why in this new tomorrow,
I'll charise every single night.
This could be my last sunny day,
Truly now I don't mind,
I'll be placed we with the clouds,
Happy to be alive.
If it rains I shall dance,
If it hails,I catch the hail,
If there's starless skies I'll make them,
Slumber in my mind.
Today could be my last sunny day,
but I truly do not mind.
Might as well close the window early,
say Mr.Sun Goodbye

The darkness can embrace the page a silk sheet of verbal perfection .
Empty streets and   bars cast shadows that cling in mind like some ship long sailed from port.
Why must they see the end and never fight it's truth ?

We find so little compassion a snow storms emotion has left this summer night
vacant as the motels sign.
Drift for a second with me and i'll show you nothing but flawed perfection in return.

Cats in the garbage winos hold court in the parks distant to the .
The child never should know.
Poets speak in smoke filled rooms of nothing more than a broken souls frustration and second
avenue's  false shine a glass charm and a freakshow diamond the ***** a true friend in
times all to often I need.

Whats your sport the streetwalker asks me in such a pure jaded sense.
wash me  pilot hands are clean but thoughts seem to stain walls of the union mission
I love its true sense of decay .

Jack are you still on the road or just lost in big Sur?
Bob can they ever decode the message or just set free in the paint you cast as words?
Poets fools profits and second street saints I feel comfort in madness  for
sanity's annoying plea just takes up my time.

Are we nothing more than junkies?
Slave to page and the veiw's no matter how blind they may be.
A  drunkard  , A clown, And a welcome stranger in many a lost souls view.
Charles I can understand your humor in the utter sense of ***** it all and the crued beauthy i reconize so very well.

And a whiskey laced brother kindred spirts seem to go better with southern bourban to
wash it all down.

Now sweetheart im not saying im any good but im always a goodtime.
We have to be ******* to be anything at all.
They all knew as so do I.

Heros gone were never heros at all.
Im the last of my kind hundred proof deadly with a **** eating grin.
Only through others eyes are we truely seen .
So I ask how's your view?

Admire many only to realize your lost in ego's storm.
Few understand and even less care.
Im always here till im truley gone.

Stay crazy friends and remember it's not to be admired.
For heros always must fall.
A breeze in the summers burning heat like many others.
I'll only leave a soon to be taken vacant seat.

It would be so easy to think,
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
But that demands an answer
To a question that's wrongly delivered.

It's not me. It's we.
It's circumstance.
And by chance, when we meet again
It will all make sense
And God forbid
We'll actually make it out
Alive.

We could've been great.
We still can be.
Just not now.
Not like this.
We knew it wasn't right,
But we couldn't resist.
And now I'm the one with the short stick
****** over by circumstance.
And your **** conscience.
Which makes me love/hate you even more.

I know we had to play this out.
But now I just think about
What could've been.
Even though it's not over.
Just paused.
My insecureties flood my thoughts.
Poison my brain.
With pessimism
And unwarrented pain.

******.
I wish I could stop rhyming
But I can't.
It's engrained in me.
Like you.
And your old soul.
Your books.
Your words.
Your veiw of the world.

I find so wonderfully parrallel to mine.
I wish you were still mine.
We really could've been something.

I spent years flinching when someone so much as moved too quickly
jumping at everything, peering around corners only to be scared by my own shadow
you had broken me and drilled inside of my head,
manifesting as some monstrous creature in my imagination
and you come around now thinking you can still intimidate me?
these skills that i've honed are just  for fun and games
they're for kicking *** and taking names
i learned them just for taking on guys like you
you're just a bully with a name tag  that reads "Badass"
like i can't see right through you  

And you can run around telling people we know that i'm crazy,
that i'm a liar,
and that i'm a *****.
because i know, and they know, that i am so much more.
there are reasons why she looked exactly like me.
i am the one that haunts your dreams,
the one who refused to be used and abused,
who was sick and tired of fliching when someone reached for sticks on the riverbank to poke around in the mud
i was the girl that told you i will not be cheated on,
i will not be pushed to the back burner

i took what was left of my bruised and battered pride and i ran, praying that i could spread my wings
it was like i grew tired of thinking that i should fly
when the only thing that flies is the time i wasted watching days go by
waving at opprotunities as they passed me by
and i couldn't stand being scared of my own tail
so the days in which i was afraid of you are long gone
i will not rush to the car, heart pounding, ears ringing, just from the mere sight of you

i will not back down from any fight you try to bring to me
becasue i refuse to gasp through crossed ribs again,
and I refuse to say that it's okay every now and again
to curl up on the bedroom floor in agony
and wait for the un-seen bruises,
the mental pain,
the lack of physical evidence
to fade away

After all is said and done
if you still think you're a juggernaut in my mind
bring it on, because you're bound to find that
the bigger the come, the harder they fall
and trust me *** you're just way to too tall
a tale to be belived anymore
too many compulsive lies have cluttered everyone's veiw
and by wiping them away they see you for what you are
it's going to be you trying to run for the door
as i stand up to you for the first time in my life
i won't let you ******* touching me
not without walking away with much more than bruised pride
or broken ribs
oh no

You won't leave without everyone knowing  that you're nothing anymore
and trust me it's not the beat down that will open their eyes
because to me, and everyone else
you're just a sad excuse
for what a man should be.

Resolutions floating freely in revolutions,swiftly passing awaiting to grasp.

Fixing without fixating,able to hope to be stable is enough to lay on the table .

Same situation with a similar picture then why do we feel the play needs to be recast ?

Sitting in the chair catching a familiar glare,another day of staring at the old maple.

Finished with reassessments, why make so many changes  if they really won't last?

Fresh surveillance  finds unfinished fun, another race to run, more ways to be playful.

Held back when once so strong, needing to make right the wrong from a stained past.

Spatial mind not yet blind ,reassessing constantly not comfortable with becoming glacial

Crack from the door same illumination on the floor ,begging how quick will it be dashed?

Stepping out never knew it could be hard, wanting to follow a new path not to be fatal

Faded observations through mesh of screen fledgling emotion now seen not to be mashed

Needing new perspectives ,gaining power  & insights with my new view  no longer askew , will try to remain grateful.R.C.

She is a small glass vase
With beautiful flowers painted
Hastily on
Only the outside barring paint
She is strong enough
To hold tight
Whatever treasure you put inside
She is beautiful
And perfect to the eye
But if you look closely
You can see
The spiderweb cracks
Where she was dropped
The cracks that scarred but never broke her
The cracks that never heal

She is a canvas
Of pure white
Painted over and over again
To create the perfect image
The one that pleases all
With only few specks
Of her true canvas showing through

She is a treasure chest
Covered in gems and paint
But the beauty of the box
Cannot begin to compare
With the gold within
The gold that is hidden
By the steel lock
That if you force
Will clamp much tighter
But with the perfect key
Will open with ease
To let your eyes
Veiw the rare gift
That is her treasure within

Sometimes you gotta get lost to find the emptyness of the true soul.
Bury thoose memories  to unearth old truths.
Cut the ties only to return to thoose past relations.

Ive seen the streets erase the picture only to relive the past.
Living ghosts a backdrop eternal.
I cant question thoose night's regrets like a blanket keep me warm
on a  humid night.
When all is wrong why cant anything be right.

I'd never  curse you utter truths into your lies.
Tainted encounters in many ever changing rooms.
Neon lit dream's  sunset of my mind salt water taste the
bitterness we love.

The mountain's veiw is empty and cold.
Have we lost the the spark.
Iced over thoughts leave only shallow promises
to hold.

So I'll push you away only to hold the memory dear.
A coward  to live in the pressent.
A living ghost of the man  who once stood here.

I've lost track gone so far from all that ive known.
Sparks in the darkness.
Only illusion  paint's the reallity sanity grace me life
once more.
I question has it vanished with my time?

I watch you from my window
Admiring the veiw
I'm careful you don't see me youd be angry if you knew
I found this town you live in
I really like it here
Could not separate us
I moved here to be near


I watch your wife and children
They look happy as they play
You thought that you could leave me
Moved 400 miles away
This affairs not over
The battle not been won
You have ties with me -always

(Forever)
"I have your son"!

'Why do you write poems?'
That is the worst question you can ask me
Because there is no true answer to that question
To describe my feelings
My anger
My pain
My sorrow
My guilt
My happiness
My confusion
To paint images, in my own point of veiw
The softness  and innocence of a single rose
The jeweled coolness found in a dew hanging, off a single blade of grass
The rough edges on of single page in a book, only too be softened with the words written on it.
To create
A story
A lullaby
A memory
A moment
I write because it makes life better in so many different ways
I write to create new stories
I write to remember old ones
I write to paint, new images
I write because it helps take away my pains
I write because, I can




                                       Why do you write poems?

those filthy parts of you
you keep out
of public veiw
I feel just the way you do
about the
heartless wreck I am &
all this **** I'm going through.

ashamed at my amazement.

taming is the same as breaking.
it's risky
but worth the taking.

don't you see
all the crazy?
scribbled on my face
& this time the blame
is not a brain
blotted dodgy with
synthetic smile makers.

genetically mutated

color crayon child
molded by mistakes
gold eyed & awakened
unafraid, but folding,
otherwise
okay.

you & I
sure are something.

wild.

& its fine with me.
I like wild things.

violating the
virulent miscreant
blind with
narcissistic
misanthropy
tiring game

sick twisted

lovely terrific

I'll give it a home
& call it all my own.

tides of change
tied to chance
the water's choppy.
the roads is rocky.
every last candy ***
happy avenue.
it wont stop me.
will it stop you?

black angora
silver umbilical cord
fast flippant forward
man
it's ******* freezing!
I can't feel anything!

I hold tepid a fond memory

at sun-up
when we finally sleep
we can share this tedium
& not feel as boring.

we'll speak in the morning.

Her hair fell on my bare ***
as we laughed
and diped out on class
I gave her a true teaching
while she was sleeping I nibbled
and slowly paced myself up her left leg
on to the ******
where her mouth dribbled
and I know when I hit the right spot cause she gave a slight giggle
when I told her that teach was about to preach
she kinda geeked out a little bit
as the pink came into veiw of my eyes
her thieghs quivered
and she called me Ron Burgundy the way I played her flute
I put my right hand over her lips
and then put both my hands on her hips
as the honey dripped
as the honey dripped
what a lovely trip
one ride we both will never forget

last night i thought my hell was alive and very well
parked in a place that really really smelled
but as I sat there eatin pies and peas
I lokked over me shoulder and changed my very grief

soilders sitting ...having just a brew
no doubting about what they must do
all kitted out in sand style so hostile grounds to be
we pray and wish a safe and happy return

So next time i feel so hard done
so grief and derg inside
i,ll stare out to the sunlight and veiw the other side
be safe my friends be safe
as we stand by your side

Last night i had a dream where heaven came to me
did follow this road so beautiful the drive was oh so free
led me to a place... a heaven ...a place for me

the sea was so exciting ...crashing waves in jest
a church left in the turmoil of battles gone and hence
the ruins felt so so right they looked not out of place
sea smelt of the saltiness yet bacon in the breeze

a cafe puffed smoke from near the front so small
it fit a few
bacon cobs a plenty ..and tea so right not stewed
two dogs did try and lick me ..they smelt a freind in me
my heaven came to be my life ..its name obscured from veiw

A map i found now of this place that hid so well from all
they called it bourne ..i didnt know and never been before
I woke up from my dream and knew what I had found
a heaven from my inner side a calmness now was found

It's only now
After a party
After making new friends
Looking at the wall of windows
The veiw being an industrial park
Eating stale ramen
The typical college experience
It's only now
After having to be the most normal
Do I have to grip the reality
That I'm not struggling with trying to be
The man I always wanted
But I'm struggling with the man
Who got everything his heart desired
Barring the obvious
Always barring the obvious

Staring out the window
As these cars pass me by
I know I'm dreaming of you
'Cause without, I'd surely die

Suddenly the wind blows
You're stumbling into veiw
I close my eyes, and just pretend-
I'm right in front of you

Beautiful yet deadly
Though you would never know
You're high above reality
The colors seem to glow

The beauty of the rose
Disguises the harming thorns
Don't tempt the fatal cost
For a moment away from scorn

Your life will fade away
No future left for you
You followed a crooked path
Now only death is in veiw

No light to return to
No breath will pass your lips
You are standing above nothing
To die, you only have to slip

I'd like to ask you a question ?
When you veiw this photograph of me

Who are you really looking at
Who is it that you see?

Do you recognise anything
Trigger memories from the past?

Perhaps my smile
The way I've posed
Or are those memories
Trashed

My first steps gone
First day at school
Very first Christmas day

My dance competitions
Parents nights
My role in the school play

I married my first love
It was nothing like yours
My home held no trouble or strife

For a few years I found happiness
Saw such beauty in life
The bubble burst eventually
It's now all in the past

Never married again
But now I've found a love
That will always last

A beautiful child I've been given
But unlike you I realise
That parentings a huge commitment
You have to compromise

Time has come between us
Hours and minutes fade away
Light becomes the darkness
Tomorrows another day

Yet there is no way of changing
Events long gone
Good or bad
As time it waits for no one
No we can't change anything dad

I really must be honest
I wonder how different life would be
If you and mum had never met
But then I realise

I wouldn't be me.

Wet feet  on the ground
Rain drops all around.
The veiw is intoxicating.
Sheet grey so monotonous its heart  breaking.
In the distance i see lights
Indicating that  there is life
But ill stand here.
In the rain
Waiting  to feel the pain of it all again

If the world fades into darkness who will hold my lonesome hand
Who will sweep me off my feet to swing and dance across the land
If the clouds fall down and the rain comes knocking upon my weathered door
Who will tell me I'm okay--and if tomorow doesn't come, then whats forever for?
I'll hold my breath and cross my fingers tight across my chest
The world can take away from me whatever it can steal, but stolen was my heart already--therefore I cannot feel
The darkness that surrounds me, I know it very well
and if I hide away from the light I'll never know the sight
A baby crying down the hall, or lovers in a blissfull state
I cannot feel the life I missed and no matter how I try
the light's always just a step away from my line of veiw
I'll never see that light again unless I hold again what's true
A love so strong and passionate, the years just travel by
but lovers know just how they feel--even if they chose to lie

Feeling in charge of emotions and all
having the veiw of an entire world
climbing higher in the middle of a fall
seeing the places and people unfurl

A likely place to figure out everything
where life is perfect while being above
placing the actors where they belong
it seems that they have all but the love

Shooting the mind to a different level
trickling from there down to the soul
keeping track of the good and the devil
reading the future, practicing the old

Joining a wave of tempered vision
shapes and forms exclusively change
a following of legends like Jesus the risen
sees no bound, no border, no range

Under and over and through the walls
a sure way to be a part of it all
the ancients beckon the candle lit halls
they have their bread and their baccanals

Counting on plans that are coming this way
no need to guess, it's just a word that we say
a volunteer god that wanders these parts
the lands of hell, the lands of hearts

These roses have turned brown
The the leaves all wilted
Their petals fell to the ground
Now they see the world through a veiw that's tilted

Wait; pause dont panic;
Not all mirrors' reflect the soul.
There's beauty hidden deep within;
Every beasty thing that exists.
And ugliness is a trait of beauty.
Unseen and unheard in fairy tales.
Everthing made of star dust;
Has something magical within.
All snow white's are not fair;
And every prince isn't charming.
Nothing other than the black.
Could satisfy the moonless dark.
Every ugly, earthy seed contains;
An unborn beautiful flower.
Until it doesn't die of suffocation;
It doesn't reproduce beauty.
While cherishing the beauty of the flower
Why ignore the cause is the seed's sacrifice?
Would it be still an eye treat;
If the seed hadn't died a terible death?
Arnt abstract arts masterpeices;
Like the others present in the gallary?
Dont trust mirrors
They only reflect the phyical appearance,
Not the beauty of the soul.
Everthing is beautiful;
When veiwed from different angle;
From different point of veiw;
Not the one which we are accustomed to see from.

She walked in her world
On a ground of cloth
She felt stable
And was very well off

This girl was curious
And liked to tease out the strings
Not carring that her pulling
Was messing with things

The girl grew older
And pulled out more strings faster
The holes forming in the fabric
Seemed to fly past her

Once she knew what was happening
She felt fear and dread
What once was strong fabric
Was now a spider's web

And though she valued
The knowledge she gained
The new veiw of frail heights
Put her mind under strain

She wondered which was better,
Scratching her head:
To walk on unteased cloth
Or a thoroughly pulled web