"unslept" poems
My eyes bleed with exhaustion.
My thoughts are fuzzy like my brain is stuffed with styrofoam.
My body sinks into the ugly carpet floor of my basement.
My mouth tastes sour with the flavor of an unslept soul.
I lie here writing instead of sleeping because it feels like the only thing I can do well, consciously.
My back aches with an elders pain at late seventeen.
I crave the warm embrace of my bed but am too stuck like sap to move.
I'm rambling here in my brain instead of resting my frigid existence.
My thoughts are slow and choppy now with the hesitation of drifty words.
My rusted, chipping ears hear nothing but silence and a distant coo-coo clock.
The chirps of a bird only found in my dark, dusty insanity.
The world weighs upon children such as these in a universe such as this.
I'm just, tired. Tired...
~S.C. Kelley
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 2:01 AM UTC
Why do you invite me to destroy my shelf? the other
Was it jealousy of my lack of good sense? the self
Did my speeches ring false in your church bells? the group
Perhaps I had beauty in your eyes taken up by it ? the hungry
I proudly displayed by egotistical selflessness before you changed? the it
Old tricks on new friends ending friendships with absorbtion! no soul?
yes , a setup that was painted and written and signed in tears . unslept?
recording the sun and then recording the image on tv of its light.
repeatedly.
Apr 27, 2010
Apr 27, 2010 at 3:01 PM UTC
Got your wire asking me to meet;
The wire that travelled rounds to reach me
Weeks or even months to reach me
After all that while you waited me going
From where I have now traversed abound
Years didn't know what months held within
Months didn't listen to day's throbbing
But we boarded the same space and time
It wasn't crowded with any ‘other ones’
Why didn't you meet me then, me around?
Why didn't you meet me there, me waiting?
Silly or serious, the moments we digressed
You turned your back and switched me off
Making up, I sat by the side, hands feeling
I knew you were pretending asleep;
Then slowly gone to an indifferent self
Why didn't you meet me there, by your side?
Remember all those questions I asked?
Of compulsions and convictions of yore
When you wore an eerie silence as answer
Looking away saying I don't want to respond
I had waited for you there, for long
Why didn't you meet me there with the answers?
Remember all those things you have hidden
Things that changed my takes on life
On trust, respect, love and sorts
You slept over them and woke up afresh
I stood there unslept; carrying scars ever after
Why didn't you sight me so, there?
We were walking along and away,
Not knowing the long pauses we took
Two souls trapped in the same maze
Crossing and nodding days after days
But more as strangers; on a courtesy call
I wish you stopped and met me there.
Now that I have been on this travail for long
With miles to go for that unknown destiny
And a lost way back in labyrinths of mind
Meetings won't be of hearts anymore;
Would set us only on old routes we loathe
So wait no more on your wire...
May 12, 2016
May 12, 2016 at 10:58 AM UTC
Monday party night with Mad Fish and friends
Conversations buzz of annual friends’ reunion
Christmas cheer as enemies are friends again
Complex confabulations as wine wisdom flows
Midnight truths all revealed in vino veritas
Eccentrics leave early, party animals at dawn
Tuesday late unslept sleeping son on Dart
Brains slow to restart despite espresso kick
Hangover no handicap to present-wrapping
Inbox full from friends Happy Holidays hellos.
Nov 25, 2012
Nov 25, 2012 at 8:58 AM UTC
Scrapping by without a lending hand
The rent raised, they’d never understand
Streets to wander with hearts heavy laden
A carefree spirit, hopes to have made it
While piles stack up with unpaid bills
They wish for freedom, to run to a hill
Without the trivialities and endless payments
To be well-off enough, not even famous
Toiling work and nights unslept
A bucket of savings slowly kept
And the climb and perseverance away from being poor
Gained them the freedom out of the door
Of sleepless nights and unfed stomachs
Their pitiful despair gave way to a plummet
Mar 9, 2021
Mar 9, 2021 at 5:05 PM UTC
There's an empty seat at the table today
There's a bed not slept in last night
There's the deafening sound of silence in the room
There is darkness even though there is light
There's a cloud of reality hanging around
There's a memory passing through your mind
There's so many reasons for celebrating a life
There's words like loving and kind
There's another day tomorrow, I hear people say
There's light at the end of the storm
There's others who need your attention right now
There's the hungry and folks to keep warm
But, there's still an empty seat at the table today
And, there's still that unslept in bed
And, there's a voice missing from the din of the crowd
But their words resonate in your head
There's peace for their souls and relief from their pain
There's the memories to last your lifetime
There's things that you shared and others who cared
And there's times that were just yours and mine.
By Trevor Reynolds 2017
Sep 21, 2019
Sep 21, 2019 at 8:44 AM UTC
Seeming as though they want to crawl inside
I invite every word you sowed into my home
Restless they skitter into every corner of my room
Make themselves comfortable in my bed
Unslept in, untidy
I click my pen absentmindedly at the desk as I write
But each sentence is a copy of your kisses
You came, paved the road through icy snow
And I don’t want to reject your passion
Perhaps because, akin to my features
I am unloved
The only one there for me
The only fickle heart that
Didn’t always seem so worthless
This world revolves around an atmosphere of
Shaky hands and nervous glances
Long walks and apologies
No matter how many times I laugh
It isn’t enough to silence the poor restive dog
But the door to the backyard is locked
Don’t make me find the key
May 3, 2021
May 3, 2021 at 12:46 AM UTC
Under hooded lanes on my skin,
you're making homes
to house each memory
you breathe onto it.
No door is shut in these homes,
No window latched,
No bed unslept in,
No cry unheard in.
Swirling concrete,
******** hearts,
And the faith of young people -
Three impossible stories that you're teaching me to read.
Word by shaking word,
Syllable by foreign syllable,
I learn these stories slowly -
Your heartbeat is my meter,
Your shut eyes are my verse.
We're learning of new tongues drenched in alcohol,
forbidden by the weight of countless accidents.
Fallen-star-paperweights,
Slurring-satin-papercuts.
We're tasting new lives,
new times,
new seas and pools,
and all they can say is
we're speaking easy.
Apr 2, 2018
Apr 2, 2018 at 2:04 PM UTC
when the flowers began to bloom, i watched as you grew the same ones
inside of my belly. and then they began to wilt--i waited as you forgot
to water them. don't you remember? "you make me the happiest
i have ever been." these are my notes from nights unslept, where i tossed,
turned, and ached for you. scribbles in the margin that
reminded me why not even my worst enemy deserved to have a knife
twisted in the very ***** that she cherished. i trusted you and you became my rinse and repeat. good thing i finally spit you out.
i'll take this to the grave with me: my diary perception of you,
of your gentle hands and gentle heart, of your kind eyes and
the smile that released butterflies into my chest. of your sticky-note reminders:
"i love you." say it again. "i love you." louder, for the ones in the back.
"i love you but it's different now." you've become another name on my list,
unwillingly written and dated. spring of 2016, here lies the one who pieced it back together only to break it all again.
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 18, 2016 at 11:18 AM UTC
1.28am
My ears were too loud and I couldn’t hear you over the pounding of my heart but I tried, oh God did I try. The first thing I saw was your teeth and before I knew it, you were in my lap. You sang your name in my ear and seven months later, I still heard your voice. The night has just begun.
2.02am
It was a friend through a friend through a friend who told a friend about you who mentioned me to his friend and that was how we met. No introductions, no conclusions, no “hello my name is” because it was more like “can we just **** now?” and we did.
2.35am
I spent days lodged inside of you because that was home to me. I filled you up to the brim and I watched me inch out of you day by day. My bed had your imprint in it and home was no longer home unless you were there. Front to back. Eyes open. Eyes closed. Dark. Light. Old fashioned. We did it all.
3.00am
We built our relationship out of books, movies, biology, dead poets, coffee shops, shower *** hot summer nights and cool June days. Catabolism is the process of breaking down molecules. Anabolism is the process of building up molecules. You catalyzed; I watched.
3.35am
This is what your mirror reflected.
June: Bright eyes, white teeth, laughter, wavy hair, sun-kissed skin, tank tops, flip flops, sleepy babbles, the desire to fall in love.
January: I’m trying my best to love you the way you want me to but I can’t anymore and I’ve let other people touch me and I can’t say no because I love you I really do but I can’t do this anymore you make me happy but so does everyone else and I’m sorry but I’m sorry but I’m sorry but I love you but
3.47am
I waited for 3 days but you never came home. So I burned it all and you yelled at me. A piece of me burned with the flames but you ignored it and then it became February.
5.47am
The sun is rising now and I still hear the way you sang your name in my ear. It would have been 8 months soon and 8 months ago, we talked about forever. It will be March soon and when the flowers bloom, I won’t think of you anymore. I keep a response to a note that you never left me and I’ll read it when I miss nights with you. The night is over now.
Mar 12, 2014
Mar 12, 2014 at 8:35 PM UTC
you love him more than me
but how many nights have I spent
my eyes laden with sleep unslept
an electronic glow as bright as the sun
so you wouldn't feel alone?
you love him more than me
but how many times have I stopped
my voice curled in my chest
patient as a monk
as you ordered your thoughts?
you love him more than me
but how many times have I paused
my heart a staccato 12/8
as you made yourself comfortable
against my side?
you love him more than me
but how many times have I offered
helping you by handing
small things for organization
so you could finally be at peace?
you love him more than me
but when have I looked around a restaurant
taking note of silverware
of details and of placemats
to be sure that he'd be comfortable?
you love him more than me
but when have I listened aptly
nodding and agreeing
even if he's wrong
simply because he needs the control?
you love him more than me
but when have I laid beside him
curled into his shape
uncaring if my arm went numb
because he was my solace?
you love him more than me
but when have I held my heart
a live beating creature leaking pain
in cupped palms
and offered it to him?
you love him more than me
but when have I removed myself
full bodied, kicking, screaming
from his presence
just to offer him peace of mind?
you love him more than me
but when have I harbored hurt
refused to let it show in any way
steeled myself against the softest comments
because I know he didn't mean them?
you love him more than me
but when have I panicked
when have I trembled with nerves
when have I breathed a sigh of relief
because our tangled fingers felt like home?
you love him more than me
but when have I debated
posting poetry that tells more
than my words ever could
for him?
you love him more than me
but a thousand reasons more
and a thousand reasons less
could not explain the falseness
of this accusation
you love him more than me
but an entire poem written
for the sole reason of explanation
could not console the damage
left by this punch in the gut
you love him more than me
but if years of friendship
months of words and inside jokes
could not show you differently
what will a few words do?
you love him more than me
but I haven’t-
but I’ve-
but I-
but-
you love him more than me
Okay.
Apr 23, 2014
Apr 23, 2014 at 9:16 AM UTC
What will you share with me?
You who have been gone so long? Will you speak of
everyday things? "Caroline, the
weather has been so cold."
Will you touch me on the hand
that once curled around you?
"Caroline you always had
such soft skin."
Will you sing your songs to
me again? The notes of which
lay down their sound on my
lonely face like kisses.
"Caroline do you remember
how we danced that night
to the music playing on
the revolving colors of
the jukebox?"
Will you bring me
your Roses of Sharon for
all the years of desolation?
Will you kneel into my lonely
night of years of nights?
Will you share my tears,
all my fears, across the
darkening skies?
Will you take the evanescent
light and write joy in
my blue eyes?
"Caroline do you still light up
at the sound of me
moaning your name?"
I will share your smile with
smiles of my own.
What will you ever share with
me in the flowered landscape
of imagination?
Will you share your thoughts
like petals thrumming on the
wind of your return?
Or will I awaken
to the unslept on pillow faintly
smelling smoothly of
marijuana, in the raw
morning of remembering?
("Caroline!" the unheard of
to no one there.)
Caroline Shank
Nov 18, 2020
Nov 18, 2020 at 3:19 PM UTC
There's unslept in sheets
That don't wrinkle on the corners
The alarm clock flashes
Because after that storm
The one where you left
And didn't come back
I never reset the numbers
There's a worn copy of
Cronin's The Passage
And a sheet of paper
Quoting the fifth installment of
Hopsin's ill mind
There's a letter on your pillow case
That I've rewritten 30 times
Reminding you that I still want you
Reminding me you're not home
And the foot of your side of the bed
Is your clothes
Folded from before the storm
With you car keys on top
Still untouched
Because I can't bring myself
To let go
Aug 9, 2016
Aug 9, 2016 at 12:34 AM UTC
Leave me visible like a vagrant dog in a deluge...
I'll hear your whisper in the wind, embrace your essence
in the rain, and see the secluded skies..
When the rain is subtle I will know that something
has tempered you... But when the rain rages I'll know that
something has imparted panic upon you!
And in this inherited intellect lacking eyes, ears, hands, or lips...
Our limp lumber would eternally rest in Earth's clay.Envision, the squall streaming through a patch of wildflowers...
In my disorder gardens of myself flourished. Buds of curiosity burgeoning from my eyes! It would be our knuckles, rigid, prancing pebbles meant for progenies' play, and the sinful sun weaving it's way through your missing molars!
Countless days go unnoticed and nights unslept... We'll speak with our soul through breached bones, where our tendons once thrived! Imagine, your cranium and mine both mitigated to matter.
Both refined from our faults, and our skins going young again, disregarding the reason we ever wrinkled! A chance to cleanse our aura once more... May I become dust with you?
My trembling tree...
May 4, 2017
May 4, 2017 at 5:57 PM UTC
The voltage only matters when the grid grinds down
to shatter me,
colliding dreams then batter down the walls made
out of paper hats, worn by my hundred different heads and
left behind in unslept on beds, where more dreams start to
gather in a riot of assembly and the lengthening of language licks
the tongues which flick the switches,the needles point to danger,
there's an overload just waiting to be tripped up in the system,
when the smoke has finished drifting and the light takes on a new face,the only thing that I see is
another needle racing round the dial.
Jun 19, 2014
Jun 19, 2014 at 5:51 AM UTC
Today is a different kind of fight
Today is not bruises and cuts
Grappling with darkness to see
Light and find a sprinkling of
Happy. No, today is darker
Today is fighting just to survive
To taste oxygen in my lungs and
Not bitter sadness or poison
Of hope that never really existed
In the first place, and time waits
For none and honey even memories
Must die. Today is heavy hearted
Tongue biting, palm digging pain
Hot teardrops, throat constricted
Shallow breathing, hurt. Today is
Counting seconds till i can sleep
And smiling pretty for the camera
Even when my eyelids are heavy with
Uncried cries and unslept sleep that i
So desperately need. Today is my broken
Reflection in the mirror, staring hopeless
At this stranger, cutting my finger on the
Shattered glass and I’m bleeding, red and
Oozing rage and i’m- losing myself.
Tomorrow is putting the pieces back together,
Shard by shard, tear by tear,scar by scar
Tomorrow i will not look so unfamiliar,
And this deep longing to know myself
Will fade away. Today is survival and
Tomorrow is living,
Tomorrow is living.
Jul 14, 2020
Jul 14, 2020 at 6:23 PM UTC