"tortuously" poems
Tightened skin stretched around burning sockets
dry eyes that want nothing more then to weep
staring at non existent patterns of the ceiling
trying to decipher something
anything
to bring release, blessed unconsciousness
to float away for a time and timeless
to not exist
nothing
until time to wake again to face this hateful world
torn full of words and screaming to be heard
only to rush to another endless night
to lay alone with the voices
and wish desperately
to sleep
tortuously the weary mind tired beyond comprehension
is denied this most basic of escapes from life
seemingly trapped here in this stale
empty bed that reflects
waking life.
Send me out to the emptiness between galaxies
and let me sleep forever in the cold dark
peace.
Jan 31, 2015
Jan 31, 2015 at 7:22 AM UTC
Rage, relentless shackles tortuously restricting the beat of my sole drum
Wailing child, aged’s bell, muffled canine whimper beckon
Tempered resignation and guilt overwhelm anger, their bidding masters me
Unequivocal love, they want and need me, as I they
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 9:29 AM UTC
Bellicose angels chanter,"Never
Was and never more," upon
The totian breeze with clarity of peace;
A peregrine requitement of
Effulgent obsequies, tempered
With melancholy tortuously
Fetching lost codices whilst
Careening stars-of-Bethlehem
Nonchalantly whithersoever,
A parable of presence
A dirge paramount; perdurable
To the transcription of the
Orderliness Of Orcus'- unabridged,
The final heavenly sonnet.
ELEETE J MUIR.
Aug 20, 2013
Aug 20, 2013 at 8:31 AM UTC
Anatomically sound, befitting a king
swaying alertly in the waves, I sing.
Hearts, at sea, floundering and pounding
against the cavity of my chest, astounding.
V-Day arriving, and leaving without me
swimming with shellfish and sharks at sea.
Satisfying love’s unique quality,
and breathlessly waiting for me to be we.
Tortuously lying in the keel’s utter mist
waves exploding above, below and amidst.
contemplating all that I ever wished,
remembering when, at first we last kissed.
V-Day, a special enchanting display,
lovingly speeding, though slightly astray.
Wishing you love in a happiness way,
throughout a belated Valentine’s Day.
Nov 5, 2010
Nov 5, 2010 at 2:05 PM UTC
You can see the effects,
but you cannot feel them.
No matter the amount of understanding,
in this, I am forever alone.
I try to remain strong, I try.
But the demons,
the fire and the darkness,
ruthlessly tear me apart.
And as much as I want to believe
I can control it,
they are separate from me.
Once they take hold,
all I can do is reach for sanity,
which eludes so tortuously.
As the feeling creeps into my very soul,
I watch you, my friend, my lover,
become my enemy.
Your intentions seem vague and
sinister. Your motivations morph,
frightening and unreal.
I struggle,
against the demons.
THEY ARE WRONG.
I know you, they do not.
So they turn on me,
I am the piece of ****
I am the useless scumbag.
A willing sacrifice to be made
for you, my friend, my lover.
Are not my enemy.
Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 9:43 PM UTC
Our wilier webs
woven with the distractions of self-absorption
can come to feel
cheated if we use them
only for halfhearted games of catch
and eventual release.
He’d overlooked that part.
Then there was an obligation to prey
who so willingly strayed upon the taffy
pull of his sweet and sticky strands.
The scrunch up of their wee faces
squeaked, “We deserve
to have our glued-down expectations
met with a most gruesome expertise.”
He’d just wanted to watch them
struggle a smidge,
at first.
It was a test if this muscle the scribes
ascribe as rightly plagued by pangs
was in him
perhaps despicably defective.
With each tripper-by trapped
the examinations grew
more tortuously complex,
and when none raised even
the slightest murmur of a palpitation,
he gave the web its dripped-dry due,
at last.
“The murderous truth will out,”
they say. It did, monstrously.
Now his bound but gagless masques
are always well-attended.
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 29, 2010 at 7:40 AM UTC
I remember when I cried everyday.
In the morning,
When I woke up to bleakness
The vast nothingness that is space
and time
and people.
In the afternoon,
After hours of silence
Painful time passing tortuously slow.
In the evening,
When the people surround you
To pick at you with questions
Murdering, merciless questions.
And at night,
The epitome of alone
Fingers clinging to clean sheets
Hysterical screaming
The constant blood
Begging God
With nothing but the promise
That tomorrow will be the same.
Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 6:10 PM UTC
Anatomically sound, befitting a king
swaying alertly in the waves, I sing.
Hearts, at sea, floundering and pounding
against the cavity of my chest, astounding.
V-Day arriving, and leaving without me
swimming with shellfish and sharks at sea.
Satisfying love’s unique quality,
and breathlessly waiting for me to be we.
Tortuously lying in the keel’s utter mist
waves exploding above, below and amidst.
contemplating all that I ever wished,
remembering when, at first we last kissed.
V-Day, a special enchanting display,
lovingly speeding, though slightly astray.
Wishing you love in a happiness way,
throughout a belated Valentine’s Day.
Feb 15, 2011
Feb 15, 2011 at 3:23 AM UTC
He broke my heart, shattered to bits, and i thought it was the healing that was hurting.
But he hadn't broken my heart, he had given up on it and shoved it back into my chest as he bit my neck.
and began to tear it apart.
tortuously slow.
grinning as my smiles disappeared.
and my eyes darkened.
the shreds left are far and thin.
and i cannot talk it through.
and i cannot make-believe myself into a happier existence.
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 9:38 PM UTC
Existence wreaked accidental,by clashes chromosomal
Unplanned, a journey Serpentine,winding, unmapped,
tortuously Human? unwinding unknown child to man,
Unconscious mostly,Intuitively grasping occasional, failing
Still, the miracle of it all, just burying my head in existence.
Material-objective-isms,passions many pursued
Grey matter conditioned,chiselled, downgraded,
I am an affordable success of my evening malts
Unwondering,unmiraculous,strsightjacketed daily
By numbers plastic,jobs hated,sensitivities ignored.
Now as I see you Rains,sunrises,sunsets,the sea and waves
The stars, you my street musician, with urchins dancing around.
Some coiled humanity springs forth again and makes me grasp
The divine miracle, again momentary! with a full heart and tears
Impassionate.
Apr 5, 2014
Apr 5, 2014 at 6:22 AM UTC
Here.
In the silent moments of the desolate night.
I recoil into endless thought.
Tortuously searching my mind.
Distorting facts, fictions, and energetic nonsense.
Trying to understand the synchronized patterns and unassured laughter.
My eyes plead for rest.
They beg through ****** veins and blurred vision.
There's no mercy when you fight with Luna.
She controls the tides and bends the mind.
My analytical ramblings feed the minimal energy needed to stay present.
I remain in a state of depth.
My only hope for riddled dreams is my natural eventuality.
A fascinating duality of cognitive dissonance.
A mind much stronger than the body it's been placed in.
Jul 23, 2013
Jul 23, 2013 at 5:20 PM UTC
I find comfort in our nightly routine
When I meet you knowing
That by dawn you will be gone
Leaving me with longing to
Watch the sunrise in your blue
Eyes which would gaze intently
Into my being. Happy to finally
lay at rest and feel your strength
Rise and fall steadily, experiencing
A true togetherness condensed
From souls entangled and lips locked
And heavy hearts burning passionately
Como agua para chocolate
Us two simple creatures were trapped
Happily, Intricately, knotted in a web
Fashioned by our own catastrophes
And triumphs made beautiful in every aspect
By you, intriguing me intellectually
Enthralling me emotionally.
Separated physically, I am broken
Yet tied to you as if planted
On solid ground for the first time,
With mind open to the universe.
Complex indeed, for that each night
I fall asleep in bliss to awake without
You, my arms empty, my soul
Empty, with a life otherwise so full, even
Overflowing. Time tortuously slowing
Until I feel dizzy and lost observing
A beautiful world, frozen cold, save for you
While Summer's rays burst forth
Just for you. I will endure for us two
Such small, complex creatures
Blinded by a hearts two sizes too
Large to even realize that
Life never goes as planned. At any time
Misfortune and joy may come completely
Unexpected, and I must accept my fate, and yet
For all my humble posturing, I am a fool
Foolishly trying to plan a future
With you so full of dreams cause
"I could love you for a million years" but
This bottled note bobs in a tortuous sea like
A light struggling in the shadowy,
Cold empty space, which my arms cannot
Embrace in the morning when yearning to hold
Nothing but a lover temporarily taken
From me with tears freeing sorrow
To last a life's time of longing he returns
Not too hardened and not too changed,
To me smiling as we meet again, hoping
This time to feel the morning wind.
Jun 10, 2010
Jun 10, 2010 at 7:01 PM UTC
still talking to myself
on the tin can telephone
if i shouted any louder
my tongue would be a semaphore
im getting nowhere faster
than a paraplegic tortuga
tortuously touring
a mini minotaur in its mystic maze
running marathons before the bulls
hit all the china plates
youve placed in every possible avenue
of escape
Nov 14, 2018
Nov 14, 2018 at 8:45 AM UTC
There is a heart inside
this twisted beast's body
scarred
broken
and worn with ugly words
and memories-
but still here.
pitchforks and swords bar my path
lanterns light my shadow
long into the lonely night,
and the branding burns of unkind words
and fearful screams
sear tortuously into the still beating life
of this misshapen thing.
You stare,
and do not understand
how I could exist,
how I dare to draw breath
and upset your narrow-minded view of the world.
I am an abomination-
a freak-
and the mere glimpse of me
is enough to make you fear change.
you hunt me in your dreams,
and **** me in your nightmares,
determined to make this life of mine finish
before it has a chance to begin.
And still...
This heart beats,
hoping a bitter hope,
that someone,
someday,
will see through this exterior
to see the gentle soul beneath,
to love the human inside the beast.
A feeble chance still exists
to escape this cursed life
and become the man I always was.
Stand down,
you simple creature-
you judge before you know,
and care not to know the truth.
look in the mirror-
Bare your fangs
and muss your mane-
look deep in those dark eyes
full of fear
and self-loathing-
and recognize;
the beast is you.
Feb 18, 2013
Feb 18, 2013 at 12:39 PM UTC
what do you find yourself with time for.
parts of life we choose to ignore.
the things you spend hours looking for,
left on the inside of the locked door.
living tortuously through each day.
searching for an available soul to sway.
take your pick, then trick them to stay.
keep them a safe distance away.
done in such a brutal fashion.
lead in a furious rage of passion.
nothing left for us but a lethal extraction.
shedding of sadness you don't dare imagine.
Jul 30, 2015
Jul 30, 2015 at 5:16 PM UTC
Decorate me as you please.
Eyes lit up like candles,
bright flames casting shadows over your face,
over my form.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Wax twists down slowly,
tortuously,
melting toward me as I can merely watch,
waiting for you to burn through me.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
I force myself to smile,
sweet like frosting,
a pretty picture for you as I watch,
waiting for you to burn through me.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Before I am ashes, you blow out the candles.
Make a wish.
I wish I could leave, but I can only watch,
waiting for you to burn through me.
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 2:24 AM UTC
"a victim never forgets."
if you think you've forgotten, you're wrong.
the memory will come flooding back when you least expect it.
it will be excruciating.
everything will remind you of it.
every touch, every voice, every hushed sob.
their name will send shivers down your spine.
you will wonder,
"how can people act so calm around them?"
you will start to wonder if it even was that bad and if it even happened. they don't understand why you hate them.
you will take a look at the bruise they left and press down on it, a reminder of a fraction of the pain you feel.
after years, it will be less prevalent. the bruise fades, along with your connection to them.
you will still get a jolt of painful reminders every now and again.
you will learn how to control them.
how to push them to the back of your mind.
isn't controlling what they did?
you will slowly start to wonder if you're becoming as bad as them.
the thought will echo in your mind, mocking you tortuously.
"you're just as bad as them."
you can never escape, never forget.
Nov 13, 2017
Nov 13, 2017 at 2:25 PM UTC
Spoiled Oaths
Every night I gazed over the window,
I can see your intangible shadow.
The infinity ring once our bond,
Now lost, leaving holes shattered upholds.
You whispered " The universe of mine, Never intertwined"
Beyond the stars, you forgot to keep your promises aligned.
Yet, I yearn to leave this stained wine table
Spoiled oaths; echoing my mind unstable.
Treacherous cobblestone memories,
Gaining the weight of wistful fantasies.
How do your letters feel me like a vow?
Why does your name tortuously haunt my mind somehow?
Ocean deep, recalling your promises,
Breath rattling for longing chances.
As you said, I'll never leave; A "Never-ending"
Sacred oath; but I was bleeding.
Underneath my bed, I restore that pain,
But the sequin demise of love remains.
Memories linger, and stories are untold,
A Promise to grow old; it unfolds.
Dec 10, 2024
Dec 10, 2024 at 8:42 PM UTC
who says resting doesn't hurt?
it slows every muscle, bone
deprive you of every passion, eventually
your *** gets glued to comfortable sheet
and gradually begin to shrink in it
to the point that it numbs and ache
then you feel this pain
not physical but tortuously insane
you begin to think about the time
when you wanted more
more for your soul with the hint of vanity.
who says sharing doesn't hurt?
it fully controls the tone of your voice
that moment of everything moving so slow
while the beats in your chest thud so loud
rarely that deed doesn't feel like blow
and once in a while when it just fits right
you value the existence of another being
you think of a time when
you were exclusive to yourself
how silly that notion
remaining secluded, just painting your wall.
who says its easy to advise?
well! its not, to recollect your encounter
peeking inside and contributing insight
to recommend the best while knowing
no individual is that sincere
you think of a time when you walk tall
without any idea of perception
with ignorant head.
whoever says whatever they say
when i contemplate those says
i would say, they were quoting others
they might have got reciting all right
but they don't know at all.
Apr 11, 2017
Apr 11, 2017 at 3:35 AM UTC
I saw a bird today.
Perched on my balcony,
His green feathers fluttered
In the humid September wind
While his gaze fixed on clouds
Tattered in tomorrow’s grey hues.
I peered closer through half-shut
Blinds to conceal myself as his
Own plumage disguised him
In the backdrop of a tree.
I’ve never seen this bird before.
Not here,
Not anywhere.
He was silent and still,
And how unusual I thought
For nature’s choir to be quiet.
Why do you not chirp, I asked,
As any happy bird would?
“I cannot sing alone,” he said
“You would not understand
The ballad I cry without a duet
To capture my highest highs
And resonate my lowest lows.”
Well why do you not dance, I queried,
As you surely should?
“My dance is a dance for two.
I need a partner to swing on
Invisible drafts, rhyming
My cadence lest I’ll forget
The steps and miss the count.”
So why do you not sing or dance
With all the other birds here, I begged?
Life is dull without passion
That floods the lungs
And ignites the limbs
To expression.
A pause.
“Simply, I cannot see them.
The red one melts in crimson dusk.
The blue one soars high in clear skies
And the yellow one wears the sun’s mask.
But the green one, I can see.
Only she can hear my muted cues
To bellow our loudest whistles
And only she can feel my subtle signals
To whirl beneath my wings.
I crave the same feather
Where words blend at the seams
And propel us through graying clouds
With our airwaves tortuously in sync
Leaving a duplex trail that intertwines.
So believe me, I am looking for her.
I’ve been searching for a long time.
But I think I’ve finally found the zephyr
She is riding, and I’ve traveled
A long way to be exactly here
Where our currents are bound to collide.”
I saw a bird for the first time today.
Sep 9, 2018
Sep 9, 2018 at 12:06 AM UTC
crumpled in a corner,
slavery and savagery strikes him hard,
on his body marked
and scarred,
bruises increment linearly down his back,
whipped not once,
not twice, not thrice,
innumerable times,
his body aches and trembles in pain,
****** tears shed as he prays,
gazing in the sky,
he seeks for help,
cries for his mother,
an infant is he,
taken away by barbarity and atrocity,
'mama' he screams in pain,
'where are you?' he keeps shouting,
the murderers keep striking, keep slicing,
slowly killing each child,
causing pain and tortuously straining,
crawling towards the end of the street,
beyond the wall he lurks,
the arising pain seems to augment,
as he controls himself trying not to cause distraction,
silently sobbing for God to help,
he knows this is the last of the city,
corpse's lay in each street,
with blood streaming in drains,
burnt houses, beheaded children,
in the whole city bodies lay either restless or awaiting for their souls to be taken away.
Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 8:16 AM UTC