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...seeing purse dressed, flowery-folds,
knows the pleasure, -heaven holds.

Standing proud, -cocksure his breast,
exhausted her, laugh-ter, -nothing left.

Weakly submissive, exhilarated now pressed,
emboldened by she, guardedly bereft...

No strawberry, cakes, honey, grape,
you know what's coming;

If you are a demon
then send me to ****
If you are a witch
then take me with your spell

If you are a drug
Then in my vein inject
If you’re a psychosis
Let my life be wrecked

If choosing to stay
Then a price must be paid
Sign a contract in blood
I'm forever your *****

You're heartless and cold
The Devil, you might be
Yours to torture forever
Just don't ever leave
Written: June 14, 2018

All rights reserved.
Patricia Feb 2018
//the door to your bedroom was a portal to a world unseen

your bed, the ocean
& your sheets, the sand
with the crevices caused by the tide
it flowed so sweetly over the soft sand
beyond the door, serenity was foreign to you

you were only there when you needed to be

you, who had knit the thickest wool to pull over my eyes
thicker than the blindfold we used
the frenzy I remember
frenzy further cured with discipline
and you know what?
"I like that ***** ****."

how will you discipline me today, daddy?

it was what you taught me after all
to be a brat for no one but you
to be no one else's little girl
if not I'd be a bad girl
bad girls get punished
bad girls get no love

so I saved you the trouble and left my collar at the door//
My soul is a dark and gloomy place
It lacks all sense of beauty & grace
A room with an entrance but no escape
It takes on a small and lifeless shape.

Read more at http://www.******-in-oncology.com
Confidence is something I seem to lack
The weight of what others think sits there on my back,
There’s nothing I can cling to to make it go away
Mirrors are my worst enemy when I think I look okay.

My face becomes hot I think I’m going to cry
Now I don’t want to be center of attention I think I’d rather die,
Just think what they could be thinking or what they might say
Rather than take the chance I think I’ll walk away.

I’d rather be by myself and just blend in with the crowd
Times like this I keep my mouth shut, I’ll be noticed if I’m loud,
I’ll just sit in my desk quietly until 2:30
Then I’ll race to my locker and it will just be me.

But I am the worst out of all the people who think
I scan every compliment and analyse every wink,
I don’t know why I let all the things get to me
What happened to the beauty I used to see.

The beauty of what I was, no matter what anyone thought
Now’s a faded memory all the positive I forgot,
Now when I walk down the halls I glue my eyes to the floor
And I try not to get stuck holding open the door.

I know it must seem sad how I torture myself
But what others think first and myself on the shelf,
I wish I had more confidence and didn’t care what others think
Maybe then I wouldn’t consider myself the weakest link.

I wish people would think before they acted and wouldn’t break my chain
If people could think about the outcome then I wouldn’t be in so much pain,
I wouldn’t think about what I wear and that I stick out from the crowd
I wouldn’t have to think twice if I wanted to be loud.

I could be as free as the sky above me & the sea below
Than if I’d never think because I wouldn’t know,
If you could support me and not criticize my style
Maybe then I could return it with a smile.
Tearful; Torn in half
From the inner turmoil
Tormenting her mind

~j.l.
I guess I was right when I said I liked him more. I shouldn't be surprised he stabbed me in the heart when I gave him the knives.
Umi Jan 2018
Hellfire do not go out!
Please just stay as you are
Once in the flames I wander through an answerless world
All the embers burning all the people are turning, trying to get away..
Hellfire do not go out!
Please just stay as you are
No matter how much they walk, no matter how far...
In the end they are consumed by these merciless flames
Burnt away, until not even their names,
Are remembered here, in this world full of shames
As the fire burns I ask myself wether this is a nightmare or not
And as it consumes my very soul and makes me then rot
I begin to then understand my very purpose, my destiny
Just being fuel for that fire to burn is what was planned for me
Oh Hellfire, will you go out ?
No, once you are about to go out, you just keep roaring loud
Come back hotter, more painful than I can take
My body is burning up, I think my mind is going to break
And as this torture goes on
I wished I would be gone

~ Umi
Umi Dec 2017
Truly I have become sick of this place
Truly it brought me nothing but disgrace,
The fire burns me down,  starting from my face
The pain, is unbearable, just thinking of it makes my heart race

When I think I am served water they melt me down with acid rain
I have finally fallen in the deepest pit of ****, is it mercy I wont gain?
The torture here is relentless,
eating up all all of my skin it begins to slowly numb my senses
I would give up on lfe, if I wasn't brought back all the time
I wonder why I am here....for which crime ?

I forget the life on mother earth, the touch of **** is all there is
Of course, there isn't any bliss (in here)
That is, looking not so bad eh ?
The angels torture us when we are about to burn to the ground
There is no speck of mercy or kindess in them to be found

Stretched out as my skin turns to ash,
We get whipped, broken and torn into shreds...I feel like trash
If I ask for forgiveness now...
And cry out my sins the moment I bow...
Will I have found peace ?


~Umi
lX0st Dec 2015
It must not be healthy
To bear this on my own,
But I would much rather
Just suffer alone.
These knots in my stomach
And these thorns in my throat
Have made this little ****
Feel a lot like home.
Anthony Perry Jan 2016
I am unsolved, I am a statue in mortality, my smile has had an impact on society but my life has never been absolved

All I wanted to do was entertain, but instead, someone betrayed me and let my blood fall like rain and with nothing to gain

Before and after, my eyes have always been open so while you figure out who's the killer wheather it was Rob, Ed, or that guy Hansen, I have to wait, invisible to the world and lost until then

I've been killed, tortured but you all just talk about which side they cut first or how my body tore, the name is Black Dahlia and that name has become a media *****

My smile has been smeared ear to ear, my body severed in half, my veins drained of every quart but I am still proud to say my name is Elizabeth Short
Krysel Anson Sep 2018
So this has been where you were
all this time. Especially the kids
that looked up to you.

In between being forced by your intelligence officers
to beat up your comrades
and then *******,
or else die.

This dark uncharted
neglected geographical treasure:
your breathing heart's chamber.

Looking straight out
what is always here with us
regardless of all our lies and grand
machines of escape.

This is the price you paid
for being able to bring life and sustain it.
Until now, we are still trying to see through
this visual masterpiece: another drug mule caught.

Drugs, sometimes as if the sullen reminder of our collective
human attempt at remembering our real treasures
and how we have lost them: A grandmother has 7 packs taped around her body, like a parasite but also like a baby mammal,
or an omen of something else yet to be remembered
and said out loud.

One day or day one, a friend would always remind me
when sober. We step into understanding ourselves better
or we keep making things to express
unresolved fears and anguish.#
dr gabor mate and clarissa pinkola estes works
Just Me Oct 2015
I find myself taking breaths but not breathing

Gasping even for the slightest chance of a comforting breathing pattern.

This anxiety has me on my knees. Like a thief it's stolen my breath and my strength

The dizziness sprinkles hovering over me slow and faint...

I'm lost, but not lost...

I'm here, but the room spins, and I fear I may faint

The more people I see and hear the more dizzy I get

Eyes find me...

They watch me pretend to be fine

I'm pale and clammy

I want to disappear

Tears want to fall but I'm able to keep them in for a while

When they finally fall I say that I'm fine

I only need to sit down and get home, I say I am tired

This will pass, it always does

Another day ruined, because I have to go home...

My families face blanketed with disappointment...

Another trip failed

I feel their eyes and thoughts of shame and frustration

In my mind I hear the wishes

This kills me more than the burden of anxiety alone

I feel as if I never should have left home

I want to be part of my family, but when I'm in my room...

I feel they are much more happy and things are as they should be

These thoughts bring me tears even now

I'm so **** tired of letting them down

I spiral into darkness and depression, with an anxieties jacket

And I feel them question me, as if I wasn't cursed and this was just me being mean

I sink down inside me and pretend I don't know what they think

Once in a while I'll hear I'm a control freak

Once in a while I hear I am ******

I get blamed out loud for all of my *******

Since I'm definitely flawed I know there's truth to it

This...

This, is what's heart breaking to me

And me, knowing I'm broken, it sends me deeper into my room...

I'll take my **** meds in an attempt to **** what feels like hate

But on this journey I'm still alone, even when they say they understand

I've seen way to many eyes rolls to think that they know my torture

And they will never understand my real guilt...

They will never believe that even with my emotions fighting inside my heart and soul, my real torment is that I ruin thier day

And I'm afraid that it makes me so much less...

To them.......

I feel some times I shouldn't even exist

My selfish heart won't let me leave...

I love them, so much I can't imagine giving in

I love them so much I feel shame and selfishness....
Feeling low lately. But I'm alive . tomorrow I'll be fine. Thanx for coming along for the ride. You Can also search me on FB under Life's Poetry . thanx for your time
The Son of Man came to seek
and to save the lost
to touch and to heal the hurt regardless of His personal cost

The Son of Man came to embrace
the human condition
without hesitation
He sat down in poverty
with those used to exclusion

He walked with the weak
and spoke with the ignorant,
putting up with derision,
He shared His wisdom
in the face of indifference.

The Son of Man came
to live and to give,
to love and to grieve,
to walk in scuffed sandles
to suffer blood blisters,
cuts and calluses.

The Son of Man suffered much
though He lived without fault,
He was a man well acquainted
with aches, tears, and snot,

with breaks and blood
and not a few bruises
and still He asked
with a death rattle gasp,

'Father, forgive my accusers.'
More than human.
Romann May 2018
We went to watch a movie tonight.
no
You and I went to watch a movie tonight.
We were not close, again. You went with your friends. It's understandable.
But I'm selfishly in love.
My heart selfishly belongs to you.
I don't know if I should take the blame for it.

All I ever wanted was to share a moment with you, but now here I am, writing.
And I seem whiny. Again.

Should it hurt? Should you hate me and rip my love away like a band-aid?
Or should I keep living this guilty pleasure of a lifetime?
Tell me please. I'm lost without you. Lose me, so I find my way-- no stay.
Do it. Free me. From doubt, from love. I want you. I can't want you.

What's this gray area? You made it clear.
I'm your friend. Why must I carry this amazing feeling? I love it! Take it away!

If I could hate you, it would be so simple.
But I will never hate you. I am physically incapable of hating you. There's nothing that will make me hate the wonderful person that you are.
But you can hate me. Do it. Despise me like you never despised anyone.

I'll try to come back. I'll ask you to stay. But I can't live this way... even if I want to.
Kiss me goodbye. Take advantage of my feelings to give you an opening and run away. Just don't stick around, or that might not be just a kiss.
Am I of value to you? Then prove it. Do what's best.

As always, in your hands,
That boy who doesn't know what he wants (but does know who he wants)
I'm very lost... I think I'll attempt to stick around again, and if it's too much, then...
September Rose Jul 2018
Oh sickly poisonous flame
Darting back and forth
I hear you call my name
It's not what they think, for what it's worth

One slip of the finger
And a tingling sensation
Smells of gas linger
Now for use of personification:

Its seems that you love me
For you never let me go
I feel pitiful in your embrace
And it seems that you know

You always take control
And oh how I'm fascinated by your flame
Skin swells and pain holds
In this endless torture game
Zetir Nov 2017
Dreaming of your touch
Is worse torture than being whipped
Yet I keep dreaming every night
Jade Charlotte Oct 2018
At night you fall to your knees
You beg for my worn out and stained forgiveness

You smother me with kisses and a spider suspends her body above my head
Black and long and attentive

A pen punctures a hole in my bag and ink bleeds all over my quilt and carpet
Blotches of dark blue distract me from the heat escaping your mouth
You whisper I love you as if trying to convince yourself that you do

The sky is foggy and the full moon lingers like a ghost
She is full and radiant and all-knowing

The spider and the moon humm me to sleep
You grasp desperately for me
I turn to dust

It’s at night when I rub the forgiveness out of my tear ducts
No more sacrifices
kevin hamilton Jul 2018
i woke again already gone
with one hand to the sky
swan dive
toward the faceless dark
cold knife inside of me
sold blood, blackened sheets

never to tire
of finding the same hells
in different people
we were entwined
i was disarmed by your sincerity
and your face was kind
Bullet Oct 2018
I lived through these worlds
Some I've eased
Some are permanently marked
These years determining
Failure or Success
Directions leave me etch-a-sketching
A destiny at a desk
Make sure that ***** is in the right dress
Before you gain more to lose n' you leave with less

I can't stop thing of
The demons that have
Laid dormant
All the people have
Entered my door
Just to leave dirt on the door mat

People come and go
Nothing lasts forever
Love, ****, n' lost friends
Have no longevity
I'm stuck in this frame of mind due to the gravity
Hopefully one day I'll leave this painted picture
Then life will maybe stop torturing me
I'll be able to have gave it my all

21 dimensions I now have to mention
Too everyone who enters my attention
Tension between me n' reality
I'm tightly strained in the mind
The 22nd might be my last
All it takes is 20 seconds
To lose a life
Doesn't mean I can't write these wrongs
To be right  
Traveling across dimensions
This will be my 22nd
Hope I will be set or
* will be placed
Welcome to my home
Where years determine
Details directing me
Towards these new dimensions
plant some flowers
on my neck
watch them die
and make more again

Water me down
watch me grow
and blossom

Tear off my petals
pick at the thorns

Caress my leaves
trace the craved lines
into my skin

build me up strong
tear me back down

I've was pulled from the ground
only loved for my beauty and liveliness

When I begin to wither
when I begin to wilt
my roots are rotting
I'm yellow with death
pull me apart from the weeds

I dream of pretty bones
and comfy coffins

I rest in peace unloved
killed by roses
Lizzy Jan 2015
Funny little thing is she,
She laughs at lightning in the storm.
And what most would see as torture,
She inflicts with pride and is not scared.
Her skin is sharp like broken glass,
And through her lover’s skin she tore.

Through her safest home she tore.
****** little girl is she.
They try to mend her broken glass
But the edges cause destruction of a storm.
Please don’t run, don’t be scared,
Don’t be a part of her torture.

Running love is her only torture,
Not pain that through her heart tore.
Distance leaves her crying scared,
Unable to control the fear in her.
Maybe she is the rain in the storm,
Shattering passing window glass.

Maybe she doesn’t mind the glass,
She doesn’t think this is torture.
And maybe it’s not a storm,
But a hurricane she tore
Out of her skin. She
Is no longer scared.

The distance does not make her scared.
Her skin is no longer broken glass.
Alive little girl is she.
Nothing more will be her torture.
She doesn’t need the lover she tore.
No longer does she hide from the storm.

Not sunny skies, but no more storm.
Not yet calm, but at least not scared.
Not yet healed, but not torn.
Maybe cracked, but not broken glass.
Some discomfort, but it doesn’t feel like torture.
Strong little girl is she.

Screaming insanely she tore herself out of this storm.
No one will say “she’s gonna lose it”. Because she somehow she is not scared.
It’s a mystery how she fixed her glass, or how she can still tolerate the torture.
cait-cait Sep 2018
i wanted to give you everything ,
and ended up giving you myself
instead —

and i
called it giving myself up the only way i knew how ..

with
little wounds you can’t even sew shut,
but
id say you didn’t even try.
.

words can mean so much,
and still you zipped your lips tight —
and decided ,,

that love is simply ***.

you forget me, equating me to some image of
me,
a dead body —

and
leave me to burn , like when i cried all
those
little rivers
that you did not even see ...

guess you’ll just have to be locked up,
with the rest of them

wondering why —
like most people do,
why is she so angry?

still,
your punishment
will be torture,

and finally you’ll know —
just what i went through ,
for you
.
most people would call this good acting but i just think it’s womanhood. Not my best work but I’m trying
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