You can see the effects,
but you cannot feel them.
No matter the amount of understanding,
in this, I am forever alone.
I try to remain strong, I try.
But the demons,
the fire and the darkness,
ruthlessly tear me apart.
And as much as I want to believe
I can control it,
they are separate               from me.
Once they take hold,
all I can do is reach for sanity,
which eludes so tortuously.
As the feeling creeps into my very soul,
I watch you, my friend, my lover,
become my enemy.
Your intentions seem vague and
sinister. Your motivations morph,
frightening and unreal.
I struggle,
against the demons.
THEY ARE WRONG.
I know you, they do not.
So they turn on me,
I am the *******.
I am the useless scumbag.
A willing sacrifice to be made
for you, my friend, my lover.
Are not my enemy.