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"sacs" poems
you text me to say you're coming over and my heart does jumping jacks it does pull ups on the bones lining my ribcage my veins become skipping ropes my heart races and races until my lungs inflate like giant love sacs and my heart collapses resting in your presence as soon as your fist hits the door.
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Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 11:20 PM UTC
what you do to me
between the concrete river & the park where the bums share a bottle wrapped in a brown paper sack, there is a cul-de-sac of plastic houses holding hands & sharing manicured lawns wooden cars that don't even make any smoke drive down gray asphalt streets. fathers that tell mothers they have jobs wear down street corners sharing beers with the bums, like they already are one. all these paper families rubbing shoulders until everyone has paper cuts. going home to dinner around a table full of paper love. suburbia is flimsy paper towns shining white smiling neighbors & shared lawns paper people slowly falling apart. couples with their tongues down each other's throats, midnight in supermarket parking lots dribbling beer in the backseat they bought off the bums.   they say, I love you, I love you, I love you. until she leaves for a paper husband & he leaves for a paper wife. now they live on two separate cul-de-sacs with the same cutout love, as the parents they despised. & when they have kids one day they will tell them *never kiss before driving, never befriend bums, or guzzle cheap beer in backseats, or on park swings. & never settle for a paper husband or a paper wife.* remembering the love that was flimsy, but never paper. 100,000 miles away from where they grew up & 3,000 miles away from each other 3 kids each & plastic houses rubbing shoulders & sharing lawns living in a paper thin suberbia chafing under their paper love.
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Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 3:09 AM UTC
paper thin
Nothing works out in the end. All of us will be gone. Our name will not be remembered. The signs and lights will fade to black. The Hollywood sign will collapse of old age, like us. Poppies shrivel up, their red coats falling onto the scorched earth. Grapes transcend into wrinkly sacs of bitter wine. The way your hand slipped in mine, the fingerprints will rub away. Our heart beats slow, diminish. Our laughter evanesce, wanes as our voices descend past the Pacific ocean.
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Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
California
My dearest love, If I were to explain the music in my ears, It’d be an algorithm of lovely ardor, Fervent beats and emotional rhythms, Pursue a possibly tangible idea, Shining lights and keyboards, Coffee colored electric energy, Pulsing in amber jelly motion, A metaphorical knife is ****** into the solar plexus, Stimulating the tear sacs, Which then open and shed a bassline, Which repeats in nonexistent space, Maybe… Just maybe… It stretches into eternity.
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Oct 15, 2014
Oct 15, 2014 at 6:59 PM UTC
Isaac
Write about socks, she said... Write about socks, she said. She likes socks, I guess. Socks are cool, she said. Socks are sock are socks nonetheless. Socks are cotton clad elastic sacs, They go on your feet and they can go up the *** (That last line was a reference to how I feel when I hear bull crap.) Particularly my own when I'm intoxicated on life. This poem is for a girl in New Jersey. There's dirt underneath my socks, but there's concrete underneath hers'. Jersey girl's wind is colder than mine, and it smells like one of the smallest states in continental America. My Georgian wind always feels like a broken leaf. I like my wind though. There's a small draft between my toes here. It sort of feels good. That's what it's like when I don't wear socks though. It sort of feels good. As for Jersey girl. She likes socks, I guess, but I'm not one-hundred percent sure yet. She is.
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Mar 8, 2014
Mar 8, 2014 at 6:18 PM UTC
Write about socks, she said...
Monroe Ave c. 2018, in my own dream land. K. Daniel's Revelation, cannot reverse what's starting to happen. Darker, more forlorn. No more bar and restaurant patrons, the streets are just a scattered herd of pestilence. No cars, the somnambules own the streets in silence. Honey dripping hipsters, years gone. ***** clothes, hair past their pearls. Asking for boy, asking for O.P.s, asking for girl, asking for crack, asking for methamphetamines. The only noise. We lost the reclamation of the city our parents left. Escaping dead end cul-de-sacs of basement poverty, we no longer had to drive. Stacked with our friends in tenement commune. We delivered the body we consume in service, catering to a more privileged few. Only responsible for one when long work was done, I ensured my red blood's full of fun. We drank and inebriated with design when allowed more free time. But, darling, I think this town was already gentrified. We changed no thing.
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Dec 14, 2013
Dec 14, 2013 at 11:03 PM UTC
It Didn't Even Feel like a Nightmare
American city, your roads make me gasp, Hold my breath with cancerous anxiety. Your sidewalks, Ancient ruins of time passed: A failed optimism for Utopian desire: A house, a yard, a car for every person. Now derelict, termite infested, but rented. Chlorinated chemical water runs through rusted, moldy spickets to Rinse pesticide seasoned vegetables. And yet they remain so tasteless. But who cares? Suburban middle class zombies? Created with media placed propaganda. Born and inoculated with DisneypepsiMccocacola ideologies. Oh Wal-Mart, how we love your homogenized Chinese products. Oh America, how we love your multi-million dollar cathartic films, They bring my mind to no place and inspire nothing. Your theme park inspired retail caters to any identity I desire: I am a professional, My wallet lined with the best credit cards, SUV, Hummer, Super boat, designer label, mall bought, bleached teeth smile, with slick greasy hair style. I'm cool, I pay for the gas. Beep your horn, and rev your engine. We are at war with each other. Everyone get out of my way: road rage lifestyle: compete or die. Big screen television dream. Bought it at Target. Open my cupboard: Macaroni and Cheese, delicious. Ambian, Prozac, antibiotic, Listerine. Collagen bovine beauty: Manicure, pedicure, dye and wax Acrylic nails, hair extensions And silicone sacs. Oh, American city How we want to steal your money and **** your blood. Chop your trees and cement your grass. American city you are dead.
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Jan 11, 2010
Jan 11, 2010 at 6:22 AM UTC
American City
American city, your roads make me gasp, Hold my breath with cancerous anxiety. Your sidewalks, Ancient ruins of time passed: A failed optimism for Utopian desire: A house, a yard, a car for every person. Now derelict, termite infested, but rented. Chlorinated chemical water runs through rusted, moldy spickets to Rinse pesticide seasoned vegetables. And yet they remain so tasteless. But who cares? Suburban middle class zombies? Created with media placed propaganda. Born and inoculated with DisneypepsiMccocacola ideologies. Oh Wal-Mart, how we love your homogenized Chinese products. Oh America, how we love your multi-million dollar cathartic films, They bring my mind to no place and inspire nothing. Your theme park inspired retail caters to any identity I desire: I am a professional, My wallet lined with the best credit cards, SUV, Hummer, Super boat, designer label, mall bought, bleached teeth smile, with slick greasy hair style. I'm cool, I pay for the gas. Beep your horn, and rev your engine. We are at war with each other. Everyone get out of my way: road rage lifestyle: compete or die. Big screen television dream. Bought it at Target. Open my cupboard: Macaroni and Cheese, delicious. Ambian, Prozac, antibiotic, Listerine. Collagen bovine beauty: Manicure, pedicure, dye and wax Acrylic nails, hair extensions And silicone sacs. Oh, American city How we want to steal your money and **** your blood. Chop your trees and cement your grass. American city you are dead.
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39
Born of fear, fueled by anger This resentment I feel for you Creates abscesses on my soul Poison filled sacs of toxic hate which Rise like bile in my gullet To choke my spirit Much like the dead alcoholic Who's aspirated on His own ***** and phlegm A bloated purple carcass Devoid of autonomy of spirit Self-obsession robs me Of conscious truth Fear - that your indictments Against me will be brought Before the grand jury of The universe and I will be found lacking Resentment - at you for not becoming A willing patron of My brand of truth Anger - at me for my own failings Brought to light Secrets I can no longer hide While my defects are Glaringly obvious to One as enlightened as You purport to be Did not your path to Spiritual perfection Contain the blueprint to Correct your vain sins of glory and Indignant self-deception? Is not your lofty status Grand enough to look upon My humiliated soul with Something less than contempt?
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Mar 8, 2015
Mar 8, 2015 at 7:07 PM UTC
TRIANGLE
apple did you imagine red? so did I which is weird because the apples I eat are kind of yellow asia I said asia not China I remember the time my history professor told my class to imagine asia I thought of an exotic country with arab sheiks and snake charmers the Chinese the Japanese chopsticks and the orient it was then that she pointed out "haven't Western ideas just messed with you?" and it was then that I realized "Wait; I'm Asian. I've lived in Asia all my life." how come I saw it as something foreign and strange? I've never even seen the things I imagined. I remember when I watched Big Bang Theory and the four friends sat down to Thai food Raj made the mistake of asking, "where are the chopsticks?" which led to Dr. Sheldon Cooper saying (in this paraphrased version:) "they don't use chopsticks. They use spoons and forks. The fork doesn't go into their mouth. They use it to push food unto the spoon, which then goes into their mouth." I sat there thinking.. well that's weird when a couple of months later as I watched the episode again I realized that's how my people eat! that's how I've always eaten.. the houses I picture in an average neighborhood are two story concrete structures with shingled roofs cul-de-sacs and oak trees my own house is one story of brick and wood it is beside a highway and surrounded by guava trees and coconuts I don't even know what a picket fence is.
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Sep 14, 2011
Sep 14, 2011 at 8:19 PM UTC
Picket fence
Inspired by George Ella Lyon's poem Where I am From I am from cul-de-sacs From skinned knees and seven speed bikes I am from the bewitching perfume of the osmanthus bloom mingling with freshly mown grass I am from the familiar music of the bubbling creek and the cardinals song the swish of a golf club and the thud of a soccer ball I am from hot pavement on bare feet, the taste of honeysuckles, and reaching pine tree forests whose invisible trails and clearings became my secret empire I am from airplanes and home cooking From Mary and Mark northern accents and southern hospitality I am from "use your manners" and "Not enough month left at the end if the money" I am from sunday school and patent leather shoes that pinch my toes from a prayer before dinner that is carved into my brain I am from poland from poppyseed kuchen and kielbasa I am from my grandmother forgetting baking soda in the bread and then... years later, forgetting me too. I am from my grandfather's sense of humor and his unwavering stubbornness. I am from too many cousins to count from pinched cheeks and "How you've grown!" I am from piles of unfinished photo albums brimming with new adventures, frozen faces, and old memories I am from the path I carved for myself with tools that my parents bestowed upon me.
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Apr 8, 2013
Apr 8, 2013 at 1:14 PM UTC
Where I Am From
We watched the sun fall down and scrape its knee again, across the horizon. Effusing amaranth, carmine, and cochineal across polluted vista. It felt petty to issue guttural laughs, or engage the myofacial crescents beneath its visual lament as the Earth turned its back again. We watched the sun rise, bruised, tender and shy this morning. Its muddled contusion obviated by the gauze of fog. A mottled neophyte - Luminescent crepuscular rays defied dregs of interstellar debris and cloud. Aching to kiss your skin - In stellar cloud nursery, it eschewed the torque of orbit and gravity - eras before verity of your essence. Humbly settling concentrically about oblate sphere, and gaseous tome. Latterly - It altered the atmospheric pressure on the other side of the planet a week antecedently, as you clung to your dream lattice, and Earth innately turned oblate nucleus. Its intent – A veneration of you. It bade the atmosphere convey a breeze echoing about your dermis, as it gilded your frame laconically, betwixt shaded steps beneath cloud and arbor. The sun yelled at me at its pinnacle today, Pallid bone – molten - miasma of rage Its core missive garnered inertia – coronal plasma warping ellipsoid factions in inflections of elusive filigree Pirouetting spicules spattered smelted torrents in the dismal anchorite Atomic schism – silent but felt It stoked humidity under shadowed niche - casual vaporous smears evinced no clemency. Flesh torqued, and seized beneath itself, briny globules shed from puckered pore. Culminations of sensitive fluid sacs scorched into the shallows of my chassis. Insignia knit in cellular shrapnel The sun ignored me today – or perhaps, it was I it. Enigmatic tenacious resolution – an echo of its gravitational collapse Inverse thermonuclear fusion It is not fear in a relationship that keeps you apart, it is neglect of the infinitesimal.
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Jan 26, 2014
Jan 26, 2014 at 9:13 PM UTC
Heliophilia
We watched the sun fall down and scrape its knee again, across the horizon. Effusing amaranth, carmine, and cochineal across polluted vista. It felt petty to issue guttural laughs, or engage the myofacial crescents beneath its visual lament as the Earth turned its back again. We watched the sun rise, bruised, tender and shy this morning. Its muddled contusion obviated by the gauze of fog. A mottled neophyte - Luminescent crepuscular rays defied dregs of interstellar debris and cloud. Aching to kiss your skin - In stellar cloud nursery, it eschewed the torque of orbit and gravity - eras before verity of your essence. Humbly settling concentrically about oblate sphere, and gaseous tome. Latterly - It altered the atmospheric pressure on the other side of the planet a week antecedently, as you clung to your dream lattice, and Earth innately turned oblate nucleus. Its intent – A veneration of you. It bade the atmosphere convey a breeze echoing about your dermis, as it gilded your frame laconically, betwixt shaded steps beneath cloud and arbor. The sun yelled at me at its pinnacle today, Pallid bone – molten - miasma of rage Its core missive garnered inertia – coronal plasma warping ellipsoid factions in inflections of elusive filigree Pirouetting spicules spattered smelted torrents in the dismal anchorite Atomic schism – silent but felt It stoked humidity under shadowed niche - casual vaporous smears evinced no clemency. Flesh torqued, and seized beneath itself, briny globules shed from puckered pore. Culminations of sensitive fluid sacs scorched into the shallows of my chassis. Insignia knit in cellular shrapnel The sun ignored me today – or perhaps, it was I it. Enigmatic tenacious resolution – an echo of its gravitational collapse Inverse thermonuclear fusion It is not fear in a relationship that keeps you apart, it is neglect of the infinitesimal.
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27
In the book Going Solo, Roald Dahl wrote about a woman Who refused to eat anything with her bare hands Instead, everything had to be handled with utensils Knife in one hand and fork in another She described the satisfaction of fruit cutting The inexplicable joy at cleanly cleaving peel from flesh Skill precise as a surgeon Cutting it up according to Nature's dotted lines I tried it on the same fruit Somehow it just didn't feel right Too refined, too silent Unlike the practised deft peeling with bare fingers Fingernails digging into the fruit, both refusing to compromise Until eventually, the rind gives way and a cut is made And from that same opening, tearing outwards Sounding like strips of velcro are slowly being separated The uneven globe of translucent orange flesh coming naked Its pith shielding you from its full bright glory Pulling it apart by halves, and then quarters, and then tenths Each crescent shaped carpel in its mouth sized perfection Sacs accidentally bursting, fingers sticky with juice That is how an orange ought to be peeled.
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Mar 19, 2013
Mar 19, 2013 at 10:24 PM UTC
How Do You Peel An Orange?
Minuit à Paris oui, oui Missour, excusez-moi s'il vous plaît, peux je prendre vos sacs, être bienvenu au Ritz Je suis plus sûr, vous apprécierez votre séjour Paris est le plus heureux, vous voir M. Fitz Paris au printemps est une si jolie vue les fleurs tous dans l'éclat, l'horizon la nuit le soleil brillant shinning maintenant, peut-être une ****** d'après-midi planifiez votre jour bien avant vous le trajet en haut dans la tour le fait de promener devant le cathederal de Dame Notre le fait de penser au carillonneur le vieux bossu comme la liberté de Philadelphie, la cloche a un craquement le fait de prendre d'assaut du Bastille, pour soulager la honte au Louvre pour la plupart d'art exqusite Rembrandt et DaVinci à leur meilleur tant de choses à voir c'est juste le début voir tout cela serait une quête fantastique le temps pour un trajet en bas le fleuve de Seine les vues étonnantes cette vieille ville peuvent livrer une bouteille de Vouvray agréable pour améliorer le trajet une jolie femme locale directement par votre côté maintenant vous pourriez lui demander si elle aime danser car les clubs dans Paree sont oh si parfaits le club la Plage aussi un grand endroit pour dîner un temps magnifique, le Minuit à Paris, France Gomer LePoet
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Sep 1, 2011
Sep 1, 2011 at 2:30 PM UTC
Midnite in Paris - in French Minuit à Paris
Let me tell you a story. When I was young, I was convinced one of two things would happen: I would either die young or I would live ignorant. And I was allowed to believe it. I was careful, avoiding snakes, spiders, dirt, human beings, love. I horded books, enough to give myself a doctorate in any field. And I was called paranoid. Idiotic. A fool. Freak. Doomed. But, I kept living anyway. Destroyed, most of the strings in me cut. But living. And I was allowed to believe it was a gift. Of course, this is a fiction, lie, metaphor, but the truth stands. Children are not born to be afraid. They are taught. Fear is conditioned. Rewarded. Considered a virtue. The wildness of youth is tromped upon by cleat-clad "caution." Gone are bright eyes, reckless smiles, heads thrown back. Life. Dull glances, insurance, cul-de-sacs, and bitten tongues reign. Fear. And fear is one of the deepest scars we can inflict upon another. This story is not mine, though I have been the one to tell it. But I am human. An ocean. A fault line. A candle facing a storm. This tale, in some chisled fascet, mirrors my own. And it will continue as long as I draw breath.
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Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 12:51 PM UTC
Semi-Autobiographical
Your stained life came to fruition, that frustrated lament like the wind whistling down a chimney, you still held your parched desires to be awaken brick by brick your opaque eyes mused a  lost rusted recoil from where your head used to turn, down gullies and cul de sacs until you ran out of retreats, a pied-à-terre of disrepute like a dreg sipping sloe gin your nostrils flaring in the void
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Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
Sloe Gin.
We are born for a purpose but We lay in silence Silence that we long to escape from But until the promised time We can just hope For a jail free card. The authorities decide And we rejoice Because hope is about to materialize We are about to be let out So we stay aroused. We pack our bags and belongings We are leaving Egypt Into the Promise Land Where our destiny lies But where lies exist We are never certain But we cling on to hope Now Hope disappoints And decisions are overturned An authority has cold feet Seems we are going to stay in Egypt We plead Mercy, but she's got her mind made up Now dreams have been shattered. Anger embraces us And in our moment of rage We decide to riot Disturb our sacs until we are let out!
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Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 4:17 AM UTC
Why We Go Blue - *****
lungs Consisting of elastic sacs with branching passages into which air is drawn so that oxygen can pass into the blood and carbon dioxide be removed You planted flowers in mine and my body has not adjusted to breathe the different air. I have forever felt at one with nature  and hold the desire to assimilate myself in to it But Today my body is not ready My body will not accepted that as nature  I will be stepped on My body is A lot stronger then my heart is I want my chest to be molded to hold all of which you want to give me I want to say my carbon dioxide receptors will develope like I can turn by body into something it is not for you but truthfully i know better My body is resistant. My muscles fight for me when i am on longer doing it on my own When i don't understand that this is a battle to the death I wanted to give you something and didn't even contemplate that you could to **** it I don't think it was intentional But you have uprooted all of my nourishment and put it in my lungs and although it is beautiful I cannot digest from my lungs My life as this is not yet over I have drawn from my skin all of what it had and more I have picked at my bones i have tried to push them closer together I have tried to make my body pretty and artfull upon finding out that beautiful starts with self acceptance I worked on believing that i am beautiful I was coming to peace with loving myself I had become a garden of my own flourishing off of what i had around me When you arrived you began to dig up the roots I was using to cope swinging your shovel around like you didn't know the importance of what you were doing WHile you were teaching me that your acceptance of me was more important than that of my own The mind of which i follow told me that this was okay. My body called ******** not ready to be stepped on You had felt me with the rest of your body And planting the flowers in my lungs was so you could feel me under your feet Your feet are not the ones i want to be underneath When my body is ready i will go into the ground And the bereaved and the grave diggers and distraught will walk across me and my body will become that of another nature For the first time my body will feel completely solid.
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
You planted flowers in my lungs
lungs Consisting of elastic sacs with branching passages into which air is drawn so that oxygen can pass into the blood and carbon dioxide be removed You planted flowers in mine and my body has not adjusted to breathe the different air. I have forever felt at one with nature  and hold the desire to assimilate myself in to it But Today my body is not ready My body will not accepted that as nature  I will be stepped on My body is A lot stronger then my heart is I want my chest to be molded to hold all of which you want to give me I want to say my carbon dioxide receptors will develope like I can turn by body into something it is not for you but truthfully i know better My body is resistant. My muscles fight for me when i am on longer doing it on my own When i don't understand that this is a battle to the death I wanted to give you something and didn't even contemplate that you could to **** it I don't think it was intentional But you have uprooted all of my nourishment and put it in my lungs and although it is beautiful I cannot digest from my lungs My life as this is not yet over I have drawn from my skin all of what it had and more I have picked at my bones i have tried to push them closer together I have tried to make my body pretty and artfull upon finding out that beautiful starts with self acceptance I worked on believing that i am beautiful I was coming to peace with loving myself I had become a garden of my own flourishing off of what i had around me When you arrived you began to dig up the roots I was using to cope swinging your shovel around like you didn't know the importance of what you were doing WHile you were teaching me that your acceptance of me was more important than that of my own The mind of which i follow told me that this was okay. My body called ******** not ready to be stepped on You had felt me with the rest of your body And planting the flowers in my lungs was so you could feel me under your feet Your feet are not the ones i want to be underneath When my body is ready i will go into the ground And the bereaved and the grave diggers and distraught will walk across me and my body will become that of another nature For the first time my body will feel completely solid.
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39
Like sad deflated sacs Scars webbing keloid Across the flattened chest Where ******* were saved From slashing scalpels Not to become medical waste But reminders That a life that must go on Compromised By the toll of life. And now I have lost you You being my lust To kiss and caress The body I desired (But mainly your **** And now I am left with a person I despise For your beautiful ******* Made me forget Your empty soul.
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May 15, 2013
May 15, 2013 at 9:02 AM UTC
****** Mastectomy
The factory is a human mutilation of our soul Mindless repetition putting out one part of a product No skills fully learned or refined just another machine Nothing to learn and grow for, nothing to strive for Just day in and day out until death, illness, or retirement Claims your fleshy sacs of aging water skins
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Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 1:48 PM UTC
Untitled
I once knew a girl, back when my posture was good, we wore matching shirts, jeans and shoes. She kept her hair long, to hide jealous shoulders. All the loud voices didn't have a thing to say. They didn't resonate, hammering on doors, denting ear drums, enunciating mispronunciations. I played football in times square, passing glances and stairs, had rock climbing races to higher elevations. My badly tuned feet couldn't run, ankle bones off key. There's a saltwater film frosting my eyelashes, clinging to my tongue, holding down my yells to the quiet machines that toss boiled eggs in the air. Up to their knees in the dark left behind by streetlights, they rolled up their pants for wading. They lingered in docking terminals, standing still, becoming dust collectors. Somehow we're all just wanderers, citing passages we herd in front of us like mountain goats. Ambling across empty intersections, walking in handstand through cul de sacs, picking up litter from busy streets. Books for readers wear little letters, use big words with four syllables. They showed me how to fence with trains, ride red wagons down hills, win marmalade coated cricket matches. I never judged the typos to be out of place (I accepted the bits they forgot to erase)
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Jul 13, 2013
Jul 13, 2013 at 3:47 AM UTC
I Read the Instructions
L’épicerie «Mozabite» d’Akbou S’il y a un lieu dont je me souviens, C’est de l’épicerie d’Akbou, située dans la rue centrale. J’y accompagnais mes parents, et pénétrais dans cette échoppe avec tous mes sens en éveil, surtout pour humer les senteurs mêlées des jarres d’olive et de piments rouges. L’épicier était Mozabite, avec des pantalons bouffants. Le roi des commerçants du lieu, car dans l’espace resserré jamais rien ne vous y manquait dans cet incroyable fatras où le «Mozabite» faisait ses choix. vous tirant toujours d’embarras. Il y avait des tonneaux d’olives vertes ou noires dans leur saumure avec ce goût qu’elles ont : «là-bas.» et puis ces senteurs mélangées de menthe, paprika, cumin des parfums de fleur d’oranger. et à la belle saison des dattes pendaient les «reines» : «Deglet Nour» Parmi toutes ces friandises Il en est deux qui pincent mon coeur Cette galette ronde et si tendre la «Kesra» plus tendre que le pain. et les sacs remplis de semoules qui sont la base du «Couscous» Kabyle Alors que l’agneau est son prince Merci à l’épicier d’Akbou qui sut si bien aiguiser nos sens. Paul d’Aubin (Paul Arrighi) Toulouse - février 2014.
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Feb 22, 2014
Feb 22, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC
L’épicerie «Mozabite» d’Akbou ( Kabylie in Algeria)
"1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer over her lifetime" my mother’s eyes did not blink as she spoked riddles. i stared at the lump. an alien invading. War of the Worlds. "For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung cancer." she was in the hospital, a week, or two. it felt like five years. i did not sleep that summer. drunk off sake, my mother still did not cry. "In 2011, an estimated 230,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S." the night before surgery, I cried until my lungs flopped to the floor like two useless sacs of atoms. I scratched my skin until morning, waiting until my veins leaked. "A woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer." some days my ******* will sting, and I imagine a small demon, with horns and razor teeth eating away at the inside of my ******* when in the shower, I will cusp them in my hands, waiting to feel bumps. instead I feel too small ******* with a heart that beats too fast. nights, I dream of my mother with only one breast, I dream of myself with no ******* The most significant risk factors for breast cancer are gender (being a woman) and age (growing older). let me never grow older, for I do not want my territory stained. but I feel it squirming, and I want to **** it out with my teeth. it is pathetic that I am most worried about shaving my head.
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Sep 25, 2013
Sep 25, 2013 at 11:05 PM UTC
growing pains
"1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer over her lifetime" my mother’s eyes did not blink as she spoked riddles. i stared at the lump. an alien invading. War of the Worlds. "For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung cancer." she was in the hospital, a week, or two. it felt like five years. i did not sleep that summer. drunk off sake, my mother still did not cry. "In 2011, an estimated 230,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer were expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S." the night before surgery, I cried until my lungs flopped to the floor like two useless sacs of atoms. I scratched my skin until morning, waiting until my veins leaked. "A woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer." some days my ******* will sting, and I imagine a small demon, with horns and razor teeth eating away at the inside of my ******* when in the shower, I will cusp them in my hands, waiting to feel bumps. instead I feel too small ******* with a heart that beats too fast. nights, I dream of my mother with only one breast, I dream of myself with no ******* The most significant risk factors for breast cancer are gender (being a woman) and age (growing older). let me never grow older, for I do not want my territory stained. but I feel it squirming, and I want to **** it out with my teeth. it is pathetic that I am most worried about shaving my head.
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26
It slips, this new surrender, past the rusted locks and caution signs and crumbling roads of cul-de-sacs and vacant lots and open tracks to freedom; where conundrums play and secrets huddle and bodies lie and youth decays, retired past expired days Engraved in time, cocoons and shells and nests are hung and quartered for a chance at love; the way ahead, receding, half behind and part enslaved (a mask of promise worn from birth to lucid grave) And, like an avalanche, it falls in quick pursuit, this multiverse of filthy guise – of liquid paths and dangerous eyes – and ruby coloured blushing cheeks; where every lover’s heart of sponge or stone descends to meet . . . heating, for another touch beneath the fraying sheets And all the while in rush and glory, time, ********** moments as it passes, flies away – manifest instead as flesh, (again) with wings that only beat to re-transcend and scar and mend in pounding, swollen, rhythms, c l a w i n g for the warmth of smothered distance: roaring for a welcome end So, spaced between the tics and tocs of darting pain and thrusting ***** of ***** aroused, abused, and shamed, a silence, near, deploys again the ever caged and emptied song and lusting shame of mouths and tongues, inclining, fast at last to go from whence it came to soak the mind and strip the soul and blur the lines of time and toll, buried, in surrender, whole
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Jul 20, 2015
Jul 20, 2015 at 11:04 AM UTC
MIDNIGHT PASSION; STRANGER'S DREAM
this love is now & new & once again stabbing @ me like durga-like diety with sweet golden daggers an essential togetherness teasing out of these odd surroundings I was listening to Jack Kerouac on the way home in his mad bop rhapsody apocalypse streaming out my speakers while familiar streets crawl past once again I'm thinking as the day old glum spread over me & out to envelop all I see how little different to be watching seeing street signs all opening into cul-de-sacs and open storefronts paraded in the endless traffic flow now bent slow over feeding my cat crab cakes that my mother made myow myow, he goes & I acknowledge myow myow, he goes & I answer what? what in god's name is the matter with you? myow myow his solemn reply licking @ a piece of exposed claw meat nestled among old bits of dry brown kibble how about this soul? how about this life? this sickness? how about this always seeking I? how about he music of my mind in untraceable car rides alone? wherefore to I wander ceaselessly in search of what wonders where I might be born on the road of least descent cat paws, grabs @ bottle caps on grained wood table my media fizzles & searchlights in my window there is something I'm not facing something inescapable, my love like you born of locusts in the dust, my love like you my weary dune-mother how solemn are the tunes that run thy face, o' mother and thy will how broken are the lines upon thine shining brow in bedroom windows open to the world like peace stolen in the sad glance I gaze @ everything stolen is the cup I fill @ leaking kitchen sink pipe strands of scent or bark of neighbor dogs amusing grass flow weather flowers under well I'm never knowing what--I never will no matter, all is well another's all is nothing now where knock goes streaming crashing loud like anvils in the rain it's only me how now, my dear contender? like a shadow fallen into sound how now the planets unwatered? how now the roots are killed? we all inhabit the same fears how rabbit hides his smear to give me a surprise for me, none so dear than the mystery & April dies today
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May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 1:54 AM UTC
This Love
this love is now & new & once again stabbing @ me like durga-like diety with sweet golden daggers an essential togetherness teasing out of these odd surroundings I was listening to Jack Kerouac on the way home in his mad bop rhapsody apocalypse streaming out my speakers while familiar streets crawl past once again I'm thinking as the day old glum spread over me & out to envelop all I see how little different to be watching seeing street signs all opening into cul-de-sacs and open storefronts paraded in the endless traffic flow now bent slow over feeding my cat crab cakes that my mother made myow myow, he goes & I acknowledge myow myow, he goes & I answer what? what in god's name is the matter with you? myow myow his solemn reply licking @ a piece of exposed claw meat nestled among old bits of dry brown kibble how about this soul? how about this life? this sickness? how about this always seeking I? how about he music of my mind in untraceable car rides alone? wherefore to I wander ceaselessly in search of what wonders where I might be born on the road of least descent cat paws, grabs @ bottle caps on grained wood table my media fizzles & searchlights in my window there is something I'm not facing something inescapable, my love like you born of locusts in the dust, my love like you my weary dune-mother how solemn are the tunes that run thy face, o' mother and thy will how broken are the lines upon thine shining brow in bedroom windows open to the world like peace stolen in the sad glance I gaze @ everything stolen is the cup I fill @ leaking kitchen sink pipe strands of scent or bark of neighbor dogs amusing grass flow weather flowers under well I'm never knowing what--I never will no matter, all is well another's all is nothing now where knock goes streaming crashing loud like anvils in the rain it's only me how now, my dear contender? like a shadow fallen into sound how now the planets unwatered? how now the roots are killed? we all inhabit the same fears how rabbit hides his smear to give me a surprise for me, none so dear than the mystery & April dies today
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82
Evidently frogs lie in wait, And the moon sets on stranger ground, Than we will ever imagine, Grey landscapes of endless twilight and, Shifting sand, Shadows that congeal into shapeless forms, Gliding over dank walls, Flowing into dimly lit caverns, Filled with hunched figures, Hundreds of them, Four limbed slugs captured eons ago, Growing wings and emerging from sacs, Peering into neon and, Farting occasionally, Stubby limbs chained to, Grimey floors, Tubes running into foreheads, Ruffling DNA, Every so often we run into humans, Who do not understand, That they are only Earthlings, This side of the Universe, Night flies on computer screens, Attracted to the light completely.
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Jul 20, 2012
Jul 20, 2012 at 4:53 PM UTC
Frogs this side of the Universe