Life without a wife
Is like a knife
For a better life.
Life is short, but it is so beautiful. Make use of every minute. Do not waste your time on something worthless. Be always good and wear a smile all the times. Give a hand to all those who are in need of it and always expect the unexpected.
Today is Thursday, Sept. 25, the 267th day of 2014 with 98 to follow.
The moon is waxing. Morning stars are Jupiter, Uranus and Venus. Evening stars are Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Saturn.
A thought for the day:
Jim Henson, creator of the Muppets, said, The most sophisticated people I know -- inside they are all children.
QUOTES FOR THE DAY:
I don't like being told what to do.
I don't need a lot of money. Simplicity is the answer for me.
I think hard drugs are disgusting. But I must say, I think marijuana is pretty lightweight.
Linda Eastman McCartney
Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
Gore Vidal (1925 - )
"Don't worry about failure; you only have to be right once."
and dye your hair.
That's what I wrote on my
Converse in 8th grade.
Maybe it was the way
the feeling pulled me
like a girl
pulling a ponytail.
Maybe I didn't get the job
cause of the polka dots.
Maybe I don't care
cause of the wave.
Today I'm blue.
Tomorrow I could be anywhere.
All these pop songs about dying young
like it's gonna be so epic.
The only difference between 8th grade
and now is the blowing up
the use of color
Things that are with you
when you wake up
& you feel like
under her eyes
clouds floating in the air.
About this poem
"When I wrote 'Manic Panic,' I was thinking about mass violence, about being a kid versus being an adult, about our culture's obsession with staying young forever contrasted with the reality of dying young in some form of violence or tragedy. There's so much focus all around us on the power and allure of youth, on 'stopping aging,' for women in particular, but this poem is about what happens to that power as you keep on living."
About Marisa Crawford
Marisa Crawford is the author of "The Haunted House" (Switchback Books, 2010). She lives in Brooklyn, N.Y.
The Academy of American Poets is a nonprofit, mission-driven organization, whose aim is to make poetry available to a wider audience. Email The Academy at poem-a-day[at]poets.org.
(c) 2014 Marisa Crawford.
Distributed by King Features Syndicate
A TIP FOR WOMEN
Change your pillow case
What does changing your pillowcase have to do with health and beauty? Everything! Think of everything you use in your hair and on your face ... where do you think it goes at the end of the day? Change your pillowcase often -- about every other night is good -- to prevent breakouts.
As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks.
Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.
All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly.
They glared at us with looks of disgust.
Suddenly, we realized why.........we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them...
A member of the Country Club asked the lifeguard how he might go about teaching a young lady to swim.
"It takes considerable time and technique." replied the guard. "First you must take her into the water, then place one arm about her waist, hold her tightly, then take her right arm and raise it very slowly..."
"This is certainly most helpful." said the member. "I know that my kid sister will appreciate it."
"Your sister?" said the lifeguard. "In that case, just push her into the deep end of the pool. She'll learn in a hurry."
"To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the moon landing President Bush met with Neil Armstrong. There was one odd moment when President Bush said, 'I hear you're doing well in that Tour de France.'" --Conan O'Brien
After examining a woman the doctor took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband, "but she's a great cook and really good with the kids.
"My son's into extreme sports, my daughter's into extreme makeovers, and my husband's into extreme denial."
A client called to report an accident and ask if her insurance rates would go up.
"Our underwriting department determines that", I said. Then I asked for her license number. Verifying her information, I asked, "NMF? Is that N as in Nancy, M as in Mary, and F as in Frank?"
"Well... yes," she said. "But could you please tell your underwriters that it's also N as in Not, M as in My, and F as in fault?"
Computer Virus Humor
Recently, the "Love Bug" Virus circled the globe, damaging computers in it's path. There have recently been some new mutations or variationsof this virus that you should be aware of.
* The "I Love You, But I'm Shy" virus never actually invades your computer, but collects data about it worshipfully from afar.
* The "Love The One You're With" virus hangs around your computer, but the whole thing is just temporary until it can find the computer that it really wants to invade.
* The "Happily Married" virus invades only one computer and stays with it for life.
* The "Unhappily Married" virus spends a long time negotia- ting with a computer, finally invades it, and then strays to other computers from time to time.
* The "I Want A Divorce" virus sends repeated, hard-to-read messages that your computer isn't working and takes half of your computer's best data in an ugly network session.
* The "Stalker" virus spends unnatural amounts of time monitoring your computer, collecting data your computer has thrown away and tries to record all of its functions. And it writes rude messages to any other computer with which yours connects on any regular basis.
* The "Forever Single" virus causes your computer to focus solely on other computers with which it is totally incompatible or prove generally unavailable.
* The "Deadbeat" virus invades your computer, spawns an entirely new database, then refuses to help update it as it grows.
HAVE A DAZZLING THURSDAY!