I cut thee so much ******* slack ex gratia
and yet, as a reward, I know only of thy bitter indignation.
What virtues hath thy Mother instilled in thee;
Abuse? Contempt?
Entitlement?
If so, she did a job
second only
to none

How do you sleep?
Do thy injurious ways simply go unobserved by thee,
or doth thou rather play a Politician
upon the Stage that is thy Mind?

No longer is ex gratia an option;
however, this ex animo writing
doth indeed seem inevitable.

Were thy conscience again to be my Jury,
I wouldn't hold my breath
waiting for a fair verdict.

my eyes, too blind from the light of hell to see
pray for you to choke the blasphemy out of me

ave maria, gratia plena, dominus tecum. benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, iesus. sancta maria, mater dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

you misread my plea and loosen your holy grip
and more sins spill from my ****** lips

ave maria, gratia plena, dominus tecum. benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, iesus. sancta maria, mater dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

my tongue is heavy with heresy
but still i babble hypocrisy

ave maria, gratia plena, dominus tecum. benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, iesus. sancta maria, mater dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae

amen

Was this His coming!  I had hoped to see
A scene of wondrous glory, as was told
Of some great God who in a rain of gold
Broke open bars and fell on Danae:
Or a dread vision as when Semele
Sickening for love and unappeased desire
Prayed to see God’s clear body, and the fire
Caught her brown limbs and slew her utterly:
With such glad dreams I sought this holy place,
And now with wondering eyes and heart I stand
Before this supreme mystery of Love:
Some kneeling girl with passionless pale face,
An angel with a lily in his hand,
And over both the white wings of a Dove.

Christmas Eve mass
The Ave Maria begins to play
Images start to run through my mind
Some of now and some not of this time

                    Ave Maria

I see the Manger before me with our dear Lord as a babe
It quickly switches to a stranger letting her babe be aborted away

                   Gratia plena
                   Maria, gratia plena
                   Maria, gratia plena  

I see our Lord speak of peace
Then see our soldiers defending another's keep

                  Ave, ave dominus  
                  Dominus tecum
  
  I hear the mortar shells as they fly through the air
I hear our soldiers whisper their prayers

                Benedicta tu in muli eribus
                 Et benedictus
                 Et benedictus fructus ventris

I see Jesus take someone in
Only then to see someone not give a second look at the homeless man

                Ventris tuae, Jesus  
                  Ave Maria

A mother and child searching for shelter
Dressed only in thin clothes in a harsh winter

                 Ave Maria  
                 Mater Dei
                 Ora pro nobis peccatoribus
                 Ora pro nobis
                Ora, ora pro nobis peccatoribus

I see Him hung upon the cross
To now seeing a man beheaded for proclaiming his Christianity is not lost

                 Nunc et in hora mortis
                  Et in hora mortis nostrae
                  Et in hora mortis nostrae
                  Et in hora mortis nostrae            
                  Ave Maria

The song has now ended and my eyes are wet
The tears I let fall all for remembrance
Lest us not forget

We were west of the Azores,
Five days out of New York,
when we spotted the Mary Celeste.
She was listing to Leeward
But still under sail
with no obvious sign of distress.

Briggs, Her captain, I knew
as a man good and true
And his shipmates
were capable men.
We hailed, but no answer,
So I send men aboard
To find out what had become of them.

Her cargo intact, just one lifeboat gone
And a rope that trailed aft in the sea.
Something had caused them
To abandon their ship
but why was a mystery to me.

There are storms on the Ocean
As winter draws near;
A sea grave was their likely fate
Or else they were drifting
Ever farther from shore
with nothing to eat on their plates.

I gave thanks to God’s grace
that cold, indifferent Fate’s
bony fingers had not touched on me
and I wept for my friends
of the Mary Celeste
who would never
come home from the sea.

for all its worth, ad inviduum matters,
as any stress imposed
to, "break away from the herd"...
the ever becoming need for
flamboyance and bombast
to not be: the drowning man
in a sea of corpses in the inevitable
inferno...
      as much as the saying goes
about vanity projects,
   hair make-up, or rather:
less extravagence and more on
the lines of: you can walk in *****
and torn clothes...
       but at least you've taken a shower
prior...
             yet there still remains
a stressor on individualism...
    in that...
            as long as individualism
is accepted by a herd of "individuals"...
i remember that outside of school
i knew one black guy,
as the black joke goes: he was a drug
dealer, and a single father...
what the white boy knows a black guy
joke doesn't follow up is that
he was ostricized... a fellow *****...
because they really tell you
about the Bangladeshi workers
    dead beneath the burn khalifa...
even individualism has limits,
with the motto:
   as long as it doesn't mingle with
eccentricity,
    as long as individualism doesn't
mingle with eccentricity...
   because in the latter sense?
that's the individualistic norm shattered...
everyone gets to over-hit the mark...
which shows the cracks in
the so-called notion of individualism...
notably in the west:
        cogitans est cassus primo
                    gratia rideo...
      logos incognito.
                     as such, individualism
as spare, auxiliary / collateral change...
trend setters,
    if famous for 15 minutes,
   pack leaders for 15 seconds,
and then back to the frivolous intrigues
of peacocks on a catwalk...
by individual, i think of the:
                 hersch...
                      a dangerous line between
setting a vogue and a minor
sentiment for the vanguard...
and becoming ostricized as a *****,
humouresly being attached
the term: eccentric...
     or just plain weird in the harsh
tongue of the children's blunt...
phraseology...
                             the world comes
to the boundaries of a small town
exactly 1.5 days later,
  give or take the algorithm
via prior searches...
                                   perhaps how i
understand individualism is
how Narcissus might understand
the vampirism of his brother
     Solipssus...
                  a kind of people who
behave as if without a body,
a type of people who, like vampires,
can't see their reflections...
not that they can't in a literal sense...
      as everything small begs
a curiosity,
   as everything large astounds
with awe...
             paradoxical thus,
the content of a church,
                 and the church itself...
        after all...
     the legionnaires did soak
a sponge with wine and offered it to him
on the end of a spear... which he refused...
   a pale comparison
as blueprint, to what subsequently
came to pass...
              well...
it is pale... considering you'll
never actually know, upon giving
himself up so freely...
  that there wasn't anything,
remotely comparative
with the infamous example
of Albert Fish:
              self-embedded needles
lodged in his pelvis and perineum...
just as the other case in point:
marquis de sade seems more like
a scapegoat than the sadist
his imagination and only his imagination
allowed him to be...
because what,  screaming from
the window of the Bastille, or locked
in an asylum, he could really
compete with the power of the clergy
in the form of his uncle,
the abbé de sade...
                       how can it not be
a fiction, when the power of fiction itself
has become slowly obliterated
wriggling in a cul de sac?
     how could I ever write a work
of fiction, when what was deemed
as truth, credo, is facing up to
non-mainstream footnote reading
and the 1945 archeological findings
that match up to the 2000 or so years
of heretical speculation?
riht now, he can be brown olive
tanned mulatto or whatever Dalton
hue of orange...
              if white is ivory if it is
a scalped cranium a pharmacological
soup woth of brain...
             if white is white and even amrican
south: h'white...
        clingy *******
to the feet of the Urals...
    pardonable warm *****,
only Sveedish, and only at 25ml a pop...
talking to two old people
half-awake, half-asleep...
      buddha-eyed sleepwalking almost...
as i came in contact with
the dark chapter of medicine,
not even past the 1950s America...
                 the infamous tactic
of regression: also known as
    false memory implants...
                    two old people trying
to fall asleep,
   a bottle of *****,
       shy drinking, 10 years of celibacy...
with the odd purely physical encounter
like a rag and a hand and a ***** sink...
my grandfather bemoans that
he never had a chance to say: father...
i could bemoan not having said:
i love you...
                ascribed her an endearing
nick'...
                it seems this world
hides higher pleasures bound
to a rigour so few make eruditions of.

Another enchanting "Barry Hodges Memory" poem for you all!

O glorious Art Deco edifice, tucked away behind the 'Dilly!
In your near century of hospitality, how many millions of visitors
Must have thronged your rooms, meeting, greeting, eating, sleeping
And (need I specify the obvious?) ******* away the fleeting hours?
How sad it is to think that the dear Regent Palace has fallen victim
To the money-grabbing developers' philistine wrecking *****.

Rumour came to me in the Seventies that the ground floor cocktail bar
Had gained a somewhat , shall we say, *louche reputation,
Being frequented by ladies of the night and part-time gigolos;
And that the hustle and bustle of the reception area meant that
Staff would hardly notice if guests invited a newly made friend upstairs
For some horizontal entertainment, be it on a cash or ex gratia basis.

Several evenings, perhaps after a night at the theatre, I paid a brief visit
To the dimly lit bar, with its sophisticated black pianist tinkling out a tune
In the very best Casablanca tradition, perhaps even crooning a little ditty.
One summer night I recall I dropped in, probably post-prandially
More in hope than serious expectation, ordered an over-priced G&T;
And settled down to assess the odds on some casual leg-over action.

Much to my surprise I was soon joined by a large middle-aged blonde
(to a naive young chappie, any woman over 35 is no spring chicken);
She was Icelandic and big with it in the mammary department,
But not fat I hasten to add, just sturdy, like a splendid Wagnerian Valkyrie;
Yea, I knew she was gagging for it when she confided that, only last week,
She had shared l'amour with a young stranger in the Wienerwald al fresco.

I cannot recall much of our no doubt fascinating intellectual conversation
And I certainly can't remember her name, but I do know I readily acquiesced
To her generous invitation to participate in a glug of her duty free allowance
Within the intimate privacy of her spartan little bedroom on the seventh floor.
Delightfully, to my mild pleasure, our upwards journey in the crowded lift
Enticed her to caress my eager testicles in a heart-warmingly experienced way.

Over a malt whisky and, following an extended exchange of warm saliva,
We ended up stark ******* naked in the rather narrow single bed;
Sadly, my recollections of our coupling have gone the way of all flesh
(but my well-preserved diary for that year notes I gave her the works thrice)
And I do vividly remember wondering what time the Underground started
on Sunday mornings as I was no longer enamoured of her tobacco breath.

Now, dear reader, we come to the ****** of my night of Nordic nookie:
Just as the dawn's early light was filtering through the ill-fitting curtains,
My partner in lust informed me that she desperately needed a squirt
(I fear I omitted to mention that the RPH didn't run to en suite facilities)
And that, rather than struggle down the corridor to the communal bogs,
She intended to void her bloated bladder in the waiting washbasin.

She enjoined me to be a gentleman and to refrain from watching her
As she performed her toilette and I assured her, with a covert smile,
That I would not breach her urinary modesty. Thus I slyly observed her
Waltz over to the window and, with the assistance of a handy little chair,
Hoist her ample buttocks up on the basin and let fly her steaming ****;
O, what a romantic sound it made as it splashed onto the porcelain!

As I lay there, entranced by the sight of my piddling blonde Brünnhilde,
An unexpected sound intruded over the splatter of her seething waters:
O Jesu! Suddenly, in the veritable twinkling of an eye, the basin's supports,
Unequal to the unscheduled weight of the female Goliath squatting thereon,
Gave way and what's-her-name fell to the economically carpeted floor,
Screaming in fear, spread-eagled in ****-drenched shattered chinaware.

To say I was beside myself with mirth would be an understatement but,
Gentlemanly as always, I managed to pass off my gargled giggles
As evidence of gallant concern. As soon as common decency permitted,
I made my excuses and left the disconcerted dear to tidy up a bit.
But I will confess to emitting a huge howl of uncontrolled laughter
As I raced off to the nearest toilet (I too was bursting for a huge slash).

the next great poet
walks among us

without a halo
or unearthly glow

she might post daily
or he might write in bursts

they might be ringing
up your groceries,
or making your
non-fat double decaf
latte with splenda
(smiling to themselves
and saying "why bother"
under their breath)

mostly they stand
bodies distracted
by making a living

and watch

so their poet's eye
can record life
in a way that
makes some sense
to their souls

(A play in one act.)

The Knight.
The Lady.

Voices of men and women on the ground at the foot of the tower.
The voice of the Knight’s Page.



     The top of a high battlemented tower of a castle.  A stone ledge,
     which serves as a seat, extends part way around the parapet.
     Small clouds float by in the blue sky, and occasionally a swallow passes.
     Entrance R. from an unseen stairway which is supposed to extend around
     the outside of the tower.

The Lady (unseen).
Oh do not climb so fast, for I am faint
With looking down the tower to where the earth
Lies dreaming in the sun.  I fear to fall.

The Knight (unseen).
Lean on me, love, my love, and look not down.

L.
Call me not “love”, call me your conquered foe,
That now, since you have battered down her gates,
Gives you the keys that lock the highest tower
And mounts with you to prove her homage true;
Oh bid me go no farther lest I fall,
My foot has slipped upon the rain-worn stones,
Why are the stairs so narrow and so steep?
Let us go back, my lord.

K.
                           Are you afraid,
Who were so dauntless till the walls gave way?
Courage, my sweet.  I would that I could climb
A thousand times by wind-swept stairs like these,
That lead so near to heaven.

L.
                              Sir, you may,
You are a knight and very valorous;
I am a woman.  I shall never come
This way but once.
(The Knight and the Lady appear on the top of the tower.)

K.
                     Kiss me at last, my love.

L.
Oh, my sweet lord, I am too tired to kiss.
Look how the earth is like an emerald,
With rivers veined and flawed with fallow fields.

K.  (Lifting her veil)
Then I kiss you, a thousand thousand kisses
For all the days ere I had won to you
Beyond the walls and gates you barred so close.
Call me at last your love, your castle’s lord.

L.  (After a pause)
I love you.

(She kisses him.  Her veil blows away like a white butterfly
over the parapet.  Faint cries and laughter from men and women
under the tower.)

Men and Women.
The veil, the lady’s veil!

(The knight takes the lady in his arms.)

L.
My lord, I pray you loose me from your arms
Lest that my people see how much we love.

K.
May they not see us?  All of them have loved.

L.
But you have been an enemy, my lord,
With walls between us and with moss-grown moats,
Now on a sudden must I kiss your mouth?
I who was taught before I learned to speak
That all my house was hostile unto yours,
Now can I put my head against your breast
Here in the sight of all who choose to come?

K.
Are we not past the caring for their eyes
And nearer to the heaven than to earth?
Look up and see.

L.
                   I only see your face.

(She touches his hair with her hands.  Murmuring under the tower.)

K.
Why came we here in all the noon-day light
With only darting swallows over us
To make a speck of darkness on the sun?
Let us go down where walls will shut us round.
Your castle has a hundred quiet halls,
A hundred chambers, where the shadows lie
On things put by, forgotten long ago.
Forgotten lutes with strings that Time has slackened,
We two shall draw them close and bid them sing—
Forgotten games, forgotten books still open
Where you had laid them by at vesper-time,
And your embroidery, whereon half-worked
Weeps Amor wounded by a rose’s thorn.
Shall I not see the room in which you slept,
Palpitant still and breathing of your thoughts,
Where maiden dreams adown the ways of sleep
Swept noiselessly with damosels and knights
To tourneys where the trumpet made no sound,
Blow as he might, the scarlet trumpeter,
And were the dreams not sometimes brimmed with tears
That waked you when the night was loneliest?
Will you not bring me to your oratory
Where prayers arose like little birds set free
Still upward, upward without sound of flight?
Shall I not find your turrets toward the north,
Where you defied white winter armed for war;
Your southern casements where the sun blows in
Between the leaf-bent boughs the wind has lifted?
Shall we not see the sunrise toward the east,
Watch dawn by dawn the rose of day unfolding
Its golden-hearted beauty sovereignly;
And toward the west look quietly at evening?
Shall I not see all these and all your treasures?
In carven coffers hidden in the dark
Have you not laid a sapphire lit with flame
And amethysts set round with deep-wrought gold,
Perhaps a ruby?

L.
                  All my gems are yours
And all my chambers curtained from the sun.
My lord shall see them all, in time, in time.


(The sun begins to sink.)

K.
Shall I not see them now?  To-day, to-night?

L.
How could I show you in one day, my lord,
My castle and my treasures and my tower?
Let all the days to come suffice for this
Since all the past days made them what they are.
You will not be impatient, my sweet lord.
Some of the halls have long been locked and barred,
And some have secret doors and hard to find
Till suddenly you touch them unawares,
And down a sable way runs silver light.
We two will search together for the keys,
But not to-day.  Let us sit here to-day,
Since all is yours and always will be yours.

(The stars appear faintly one by one.)

K.  (After a pause.)
I grow a little drowsy with the dusk.

L.  (Singing.)
    There was a man that loved a maid,
    (Sleep and take your rest)
    Over her lips his kiss was laid,
    Over her heart, his breast.

(The knight sleeps.)

    All of his vows were sweet to hear,
    Sweet was his kiss to take;
    Why was her breast so quick to fear,
    Why was her heart, to break?

    Why was the man so glad to woo?
    (Sleep and take your rest)
    Why were the maiden’s words so few—

(She sees that he is asleep, and slipping off her long cloak-like
outer garment, she pillows his head upon it against the parapet,
and half kneeling at his feet she sings very softly:)

    I love you, I love you, I love you,
    I am the flower at your feet,
    The birds and the stars are above you,
    My place is more sweet.

    The birds and the stars are above you,
    They envy the flower in the grass,
    For I, only I, while I love you
    Can die as you pass.

(Light clouds veil the stars, growing denser constantly.
The castle bell rings for vespers, and rising, the lady moves
to a corner of the parapet and kneels there.)

L.
Ave Maria! gratia plena, Dominus—

Voice of the Page (from the foot of the tower.)
My lord, my lord, they call for you at court!

(The knight wakes.  It is now quite dark.)

There is a tourney toward; your enemy
Has challenged you.  My lord, make haste to come!

(The knight rises and gropes his way toward the stairs.)

K.
I will make haste.  Await me where you are.

(To himself.)
There was a lady on this tower with me—

(He glances around hurriedly but does not see her in the darkness.)

Page.
My lord has far to ride before the dawn!

K.  (To himself.)
Why should I tarry?

(To the page.)
Bring my horse and shield!

(He descends.  As the noise of his footfall on the stairs dies away,
the lady gropes toward the stairway, then turns suddenly, and going to
the ledge where they have sat, she throws herself over the parapet.)


CURTAIN.

Thank you everyone for an amazing year, to all my followers, friends, and fellow poets/poetess! You guys are all real poets to the core, and just awesome overall. You have always made my day, and gave me something to look forward to after every tiring and shtty day. So this is my thank you so very much to all you fckin sympa, incredible, and marvelous colleagues! All you're words mean a lot and have helped me everyday.

Thank You!

Dankie!

Shukran!

Do je!

Hvala!

Dìkuji!

Tak!

Aitäh!

Vinaka!

Salamat!

Kiitos!

Merci!

Danke!

Efcharisto!

Mahalo!

Toda!

Shukriya!

Terima Kasih!

Grazie!

Domo, Arigató!

Kamsa hamnida!

Gratia!

Achiu!

Xie xie!

Takk!

Aguije!

Dziêkujê!

Obrigado!

Hvala!

Mulþumesc!

Gracias!

Asante!

Tack!

Khop Khun Krab!

Cam on!

Jerejef!

Diolch!

A (shaynem) dank!

Maita Henyu!

Dhanyabad!

II

Donna leggiadra il cui bel nome honora
L’herbosa val di Rheno, e il nobil varco,
Ben e colui d’ogni valore scarco
Qual tuo spirto gentil non innamora,
Che dolcemente mostra si di fuora
De suoi atti soavi giamai parco,
E i don’, che son d’amor saette ed arco,
La onde l’ alta tua virtu s’infiora.
Quando tu vaga parli, O lieta canti
Che mover possa duro alpestre legno,
Guardi ciascun a gli occhi ed a gli orecchi
L’entrata, chi di te si truova indegno;
Gratia sola di su gli vaglia, inanti
Che’l disio amoroso al cuor s’invecchi.

i'm so... oh so... disillusioned with myself:
i'm drinking chilled white wine...
ergo... no red wine no ice cubes
no coca-cola: no kalimotxo... no aztec giggle...
music... once the pillar of my identity
now reduced to...
let's just pretend the wind doesn't whistle...
dodging traffic...
without a hard-on for the changing
of gears... or revving up...
skid-meister...
i must be disillusioned with myself...
i'm listening to a cherry-picking of pop...
billy joel's we didn't start the fire...
a very democratic take on history...
not like Genghis Khan would ever mind...
a democratic study of history:
not history as: those most psychopathic
those most ambitions...
those most willing to work the plough...
the little people matter:
now they everyone is literate and now that
everyone has a vote...
vote for status quo!
  
mmm.. hmm... the current zeitgeist of:
MEN(?) the moralists...
i like it...
let's kiss the good squeak goodbye...
let's see how time erodes all that prevails with
the walking abortions in sight...
i'm part of this ever arising cohort...
of disfranchised readied to ***** silly...
men are terrible moralists...
you know that seeing a women
exfoliate as she does...
in her ****** prowess...

imagine: a video of self-gratification:
she can do it to herself whilst sober:
pregnant... it's still not me slapping the silly
whittle richard silly monkey:
no scented candles...
i have no traction to compete...
i might have *******...
but a ******* is by no means...
a kippah... or a monkish tonsure..
or for that matter... a tribal get-together...
for a game a bowling...

what's a white Russian without
a game of bowls with a Big Lebowski?
i'd sacrifice ownership
of *******... if i were wedded to
an orthodox Jewish gal...
or a Muslim crease in a niqab...
i'd give up my ******* pronto!

i feel so disillusioned drinking white wine...
it's not red: i can't make
kalimotxo!
music has become...
a noise i rather listen to
beside the congestion of
traffic jargon...

i don't care that it is...
Prokofiev... Tool... 50Cent...
Sonny Rollins... it's music...
it's not... the sound of the orchestra of
trickling imitation of orchestra:
no... there's no polyphony...
when the rain: and the rain:
does fall...

XAOΣ... ΚΑΝΟΝΕΣ...
what is to be: canonised... no?
oh please allow these women
all their freedom they can muster...
i want to fulfil myself as
completely disinhibited from the status
of bachelorhood...
without paying attention to
a James Bond -esque ambitions...
clearly... i have been freed!
suppose the casually usual...
stereotypical... slant... view...
the loner... "user":

thank you... woman...
you can't begin to imagine what
freedom you afforded me to express!
the chains of expectant monotheism:
have i sacrificed my *******
on the altar?
you took up a niqab?
no... well then! a marriage
with the lineage of Pontius Pilate
making the sanctity...
of a binding contract...

i rather pick fleas from my cat's fur...
oh but i love he brothel...
it's like opening a bottle of bourbon...
all the scents are there...
sure... it's not so socially inclusive
as the disappointments associated
with going clubbing...
hell: i can resist...
i'll laugh about it...

feminism! thank you for the freedom!
you forgot you might have allowed:
no allegiance to either queen or king!
woman!

femina! tu gratia!
woman: you, i thank...
vs. woman: i thank you...

a bit like: a trust advertisers more than
journalists... well.. i do...
journalist might claim my mind as
dough...
dough arrives at surprise: the freedom
of thought...
advertisement...
what money i have...
i have no money...
let's counter sculptures...
i have no money to spend...
the journalists are paid
pig trough regurgitation spews...
journalists ≠ advertisers...

if i don't have the money to spend...
what's... willing me...
to have the thought to "think"...
concerning.. the labyrinth of the currency
of journalism? no... sorry...
you lost me...
you lost me at the point
where i mentioned...

the ****** come in at £2.00 per minute...
that's £120... per hour...
Christianity is still alive and well...
in the shadow of the crucifix...
the sado-masochistic...
gimp-suited-and-well-booted...
"ulterior" motives...
     what's not to... milk? i.e. verb: not merely
the noun...

grammar friendly retards...
no like...
     like moi...
'ere come(s) a doll...
oh... winter... my winter cold...
my very own self:
retaliating from the crux
posit of... a... "very" old... refreshed"

thank... you... dearest... woman...
i can finally play out my inhibited
dodo fetish ambitions...
i can froth at toying with solo...
without meaning injected into...
prototypes... replica... breeding!

i heave no lineage of athletic genes...
i have no lineage of a surname...
as freely as i am alive:
i'm as freely willing to "die":
assure myself of the reality-contract.

white
I wait at the window and I watch her sitting out there in the air, empty and open to the early morning.
 
I am motionless and I wonder if I went out there and stood looking at her if she would feel in that moment that life and death themselves were the simplest things anyone would ever know and that questions were more fulfilling than the answers. That our brokenness was our only claim to existence.
We would be aware, but untouched. One second would trip on the next and we would surface and the roar would fill our heads again.
 
She blinks and focuses, she sees me. She looks at me with an apology on her face, waiting for something readable on mine.
 
Well, I guess I always thought it would feel different in the moment when someone saved my life. I thought I would feel more than this, but all I feel is white.
 
 
red
a touch to skin
a fingerprint on blush
on memory
 
anxious anticipation, the space between my blood and yours
crossed with all that I know to the only thing I have ever felt
in an inch of movement
 
the press of your life against mine
white, adored
soft, the subtly of a sunrise
rushing into splendorous day,
your lips hot on my neck
burning that fills my hands and my legs and everything
twisting and tortured
an explosion in the dark
one star joining the night sky, falling to pieces
and melting into whispers
 
the pause of time locked in the space
where my skin pours into your skin becomes
our skin becomes glimmering
light
 
 
blue
We are
up late in the static dark, and we are
together
laying in your bed perfectly still,
our limbs filled with movement
Pressed down onto the floor with the weight of imperfections in the air.
Hands and face
filled with blue blood
a silent grin.
 
can’t sleep
 
So
we go
our laughter stumbles out into the dark
pulls us out, as we follow currents of sound.
The wail of atmospheric jet planes, lonely crickets,
the boom of empty 3am freeways
a chorus of ***** angels
brings us to stillness.
 
Laying in the dirt
stars arch overhead from the bottom of my chin to the back of my neck
emptiness like falling
and if you close one eye
 
you whisper
against
my skin
 
you can reach out and touch them
so I try it
it feels like nothing
 
And with a glance
time shifts
the earth tilts
your silent face
open to mine.
 
 
yellow
August motionless
like a deep sleep.
One long deep breath that we took together
exhaled with images of green and blue,
sunlight dancing heavy on a water’s surface above my head.
The sound of slow heartbeats in a warm room filled with open air and drifting light.
 
Your voice,
whispering aloud to me the words of your favorite authors,
the weakest wind pulls the curtains into the room like phantom arms reaching out for us
from the wild expanse
that spreads away from us outside, just outside.
 
Expansion to be consumed, to be found out
to find the sun and let it fill us
before it falls away from the earth
before we shut the windows at night
before we wake up.
 
Walking up away
through green forest away from our nothing
to that lake laying there in the rocks staring at the sun
with an empty face
shattered into a billion silent sparks.
 
The heaviest moments of September
glittering in your blue eyes
as they slide
and sink
into cold depths of memory.
 
 
Orange 
if I were there,
In the beginning, God
at the birth
watching the spore become airborne
, acquired perhaps in the
grocery store you worked in you called lucky
 
singing* lucky in my orange vest
my little bird
 
(like life, death too, grows
the damp mold of anxiety)
 
if I had watched the shift and seen
your eyes too
wide open start to fill too fast
with life
 
with such as
 
when fashion passed from runway to retail to thrift store and finally became silly enough to repeat
when getting older started to make sense
(laughing at your first gray hair, we were still children)
When the second law of thermodynamics practiced itself
and energy passed from warm to colder; normalized, equalized
and things fell off shelves and the attic windows broke and we
let it be
 
eyes wide open when your childhood home dilapidated
and Alzheimer’s consumed your grandfather's stories
sitting by (him) the window on the day after new years
(melting snow shed from tired trees) waiting to leave
holidays are when you love your family
then you go home
 
when hope became the eternal sacrifice to the only god they taught us in school
the only god that could be confined to our reason,
survival
yet quoting the bible to put the weight of god into our words
 
bottles breaking and re-breaking on the shoulders of a new highway
a new monument to mankind's ancient gloriously hideous innovation
to continuance
to getting up
and trying again
And getting up and
Trying again
And words
 
if I were there standing
in the rye field
                                                  my little dove
could I have caught you?
 
 
 
 
 
black
I was right outside
when she pulled the trigger
 
and I remember
 

crashing sound, in my head
my knees, my shoulder blades. A turbulent din
heart beating like a cave collapsing
air desperate to escape from my lungs
 
and silence.
 
Light falling away,
slowly like snowflakes
with the weight of dusk
and me standing
staring at the holes that were in everything.

 
Suddenly, everything was a mountain.
 
and I remember it
 
------------------------------------------------------------­---
 
I sit here and watch as if I couldn’t reach out and touch it
Can I?
The decay is not in your heart or your mind, it is in your soul.
Its coming out on your face. Gray stains forming around your eyes.
How do you get rid of that?
Your playful (terrified, i’m so scared, i’m scared) voice.
 
In 3am empty
sitting on the floor by the window gasping for air.
How can I reach out and touch that?
I watch the nights wash you pale with insomnia.
Strings of black hair. White face. Cold morning light.
How can I reach out and touch that?
 
I sit here across from you at the table, watching your eyes look through me.
Words are coming out of you that I don’t understand.
Words that don’t fall on deaf ears
but on deaf hands
making me suffer like I was paralyzed.
Your lips barely move as you speak.
 

There’s a sharp edge to this
its cutting the line between consciousness and sleep
you’re saying
The days have been good to me
you’re saying
I am just going to get older.
 

I can feel it in me
death is in me,
and I cannot
get it out

 
For a moment it is quiet. You sit there, like something meant to be on its own \
and I sit here, like an empty chair.
How could I reach out and touch that?
My mouth opens
Be okay.
I’m saying
 
Please be okay.
 
-------------------------------------------------------­--------------
 
its gradual , the darkness is invading me
filling the back of my eyes
the depths of my ears
the pores of my skin
until I die.
 
I take another dragging breath.
feel my bones bend the wrong way
too far
 
These days feel so old
this sky is so heavy
this wet air tastes so much how it did
last winter sinks in.
 
and I remember it so well
 
---------------------------------------
 
today, a new offense
I could not believe it
the sun pulled itself up out of the ground
without you
 
january sun
light without bright
day without warmth,
burning as dull as a nightmare remembered
following a shallow line that is far from equinoctial
 
time passes like strangers faces on the street
 
already, fall falling falling
a falling scattered hush
night, again
 
 
gray
It hurts worst when I'm sitting in a cafe and a song I know comes on the radio. By instinct I turn to the chair next to me. I turn to your empty chair. Dismayed, I look around for someone to share it with. But nobody there knows the song. To them it's just the gray background. And I drop my eyes wishing I could make it exist.
 
Or worst when I'm walking through an empty parking lot at midnight and yellow light is dripping out of the street lamps and washing all over the pavement. The sound of it is deafening. I can't hear it but I can feel it. The weight of it pulls my shoulders down towards my own starving black shadow and makes me think of how the white glow of your skin pulled me down into your arms and made my eyes shine.
 
Or worst when I'm on the street corner waiting to cross and the rain is pouring over the skyscrapers and down into the canyons of the city. Cars pass like phantoms floating through the fog, their headlights flashing on the wet pavement. The sound of harsh laughter and flooded gutters invaded by creaking busses reaches me as if from the past, and for a second I can hear your voice, humming a song about the rain. And I cross, begging out loud underneath the roar of raindrops for the cars to hit me.
 
These are the loneliest days and the longest nights. These are the moments when I can feel my lungs caving in every time I exhale. The seconds where a tiny black line dancing to the pulse of time is the only movement in my cold apartment, replacing the warm rise and fall of your chest.
 
night is coming and I'm sitting at my window watching the sunset die and I don't want to give up  I don't want to and it's getting dark again
 
 
green
it is nothing I could begin to say to you
for it came to be without words
without sound
but not quiet
 
it was with the sound of something as you look upon it
The hum of tiny waves
shadow   not shadow   and the space beneath, that is to say,
between
 
life without a need to be
without purpose,
failure and not failure so close together because (finally I saw) they are not separate
 
it was steps that unfolded to infinity around the block
and around again (sic transit gloria mundi)
it was arms swinging like pendulums past ribcage clock faces
waving away the concept of time
In this small corner of the world
it was saying thank you for handing me over to solitude and meaning it
dying in order to let me heal you
it was following the jet trails with fingertips touching them like you taught me to
it was letting the poetry come in and pass through and move off
not holding it in, anymore
When I learned for the first time, to write.
it was when I heard something behind me
it was       I am.
it was when I drove on the freeway and the cloud broke and we passed out into the sunlight at 67 miles per hour, even though I was alone
when I was disturbed with the thought
today (dei gratia) I am happy to be alive.
 
Green was your favorite color.

Christoúgenna parable: “from the third tusk that remained behind the underside of the Bedouin of the seventh dream, Mariah's nativity path is touched, hearing in the sieve ears of the dried fruit of the Achenium in the hemlock, near her mother Hanna who always tease the bird visions feeding Mariah's fertility. Hanna's progenitor slipped into the third parchment, being a fruit of infertile destiny not being a dried fruit, but rather of his lord that in a female a male will be born and that he will resurrect healing adjacent patients in the neo-testamentary and in his biblical canon, in seventy-three keys of the old testament that will be used to open a new crown ”. The Bedouin wrote with the drops of the sea that exuded from the compendium of Stella Maris, while this nomad brought them closer to a son in their fellow men and in the plurality of individuals, expanding on the announcement of an unborn son acclaimed Jesus.

They ran the lines of the nativity and in it would rest the arms of his father of Mariah; Yhoyaqim in memory of predecessor Imram as Hanna's father. He had wine for two in their wineskins, and in the nuptiality of carnality, for more siblings of a betrothal and of only one unpolluted and not carnal, full of Gratia Plena, as a factual verb in the Vulgate or Hebrew Bible for the purpose of whom He writes like Jerome of Stridon or just like a Bedouin with the tooth of a viper in a holy narrative of the matzo and its annunciation in its sixth month.

The Bedouin continues: “Mariah was born to engender the grace that nothing disturbs in the majesty of her heart…, it will take me a while to reach your nativity, but here I have to be before the reactions of going where my desires that cut through the impulsiveness of arriving now more than ever to Mariah's birth of the only child. Here in the foggy Judean night with the fathoms of the bush and stone substitutes, clay with mother-metal on the vegetable fibers that I carry in my donkeys. I will come to finish and rub the planks and crossbars that will support our new home in conifers of cypress and fir, up to the beams and balustrades of his coming. Cedar antisepsis and its aromatics will fill you up on arrival with cypress resin to caulk the Capernaum vessels that will ship you by the Aramaic word. Do not die waiting for me with the door open, where I will wash your feet with the gold of Ophir, which on the laden ***** of my donkeys I will carry natron to whiten the fabrics of its dressing, among any scented and refined lyes of light. With beryl, topaz, and ruby I will also seal the footsteps that reach her as far as her mother Hanna, I will continue to happen among the mystery of Simún that includes me in her life project, I am Imram, Hanna's father, and grandfather of this precious gem, who between acts they stand in the concession of his body-soul and mother-son as a venerable spirit, as anticipation more than a life of pain, joy, and martyrdom, piercing the soul to whoever disintegrates the desert of silica with blood in the prophecies of Simeon "

While the immaculate is adorned with flowers and oracles of ovation, Imram's shepherding bequeaths us in the vicinity of Nazareth, in all things that have their order and more than others must be prescribed for the births of those who fly the spiritual cities, which in itself brings us with its placenta. Mariah in her nature constitutes the first fractal of light of the One-Dimensional Beams, where she is born doubly into a body of peace and a prized winged spirit. Knowing that her sacred breaths do not become full or in twentieth dawn of the topaz nor less of the ruby, in which no sunset dies of all the venerable benefits that are born with God, nor before the visit to her cousin Elizabeth and in her Magnificat, nor less in a resentment in twelve years of his son already put on a tree, from the very dialogues of a son with a father, leaving them as patriarchs, before the convenience of engaging in the tasks of his father, being the son of his chosen Mariah, and that in the womb of his mother Hanna there was no one to whom it would not be, not even when his son Jesus told him in units of his father that he did not understand, in the naivety of the flesh made of the divine verb and in the existence of the mediate mystery.

The Bedouin continues: “as gospel, I have transcended my paternity beyond the ministry of the relief of virginity of the maternal conscience of a divine son, but of resolution of the word from mother to son, still not understanding him…, but speaking for generations that they will never remove the word of God and his mystery from my soul. I will always be a Bedouin of Galilee, as in the amount of Simún and in the values of the disciples who are also my children of the fertility of a woman in all living beings, as a family line that is born from the ruins of Eve, to be reborn in the beginning of the clamorous genesis of Mariah "

Imram, visibly exhausted, traveled in the row of Simún, which was endowed with a being that creator of everything, as a spirit that engenders family love to reunite them at the nativity of his descendant, always with the existence that embodies the infinite ***** of the star. that skewed and guided him, taking out the entrails of the universe that did not fit in the world, to lead them in the exploits of an orthodox nihilism, to protect with their heralds and sustain them from such motherhood, in the de facto conception and mother-granddaughter, preceded by the archangels who guard everything until their appendages are lost in the confines that have no consummation. Before the holy dormancy of the fire of love, ramshackle yielded by the rosary and the Simun, where promontory praises are noticed about the good adventure of a perennial nativity, from those hours that continue to be subjects for the times of time as the immortal reign of the centuries, and the apostolates sponsoring their worthy catechesis in their filial course, from reverend mother in evident assumption taking him away from his sufferings.

Imram continues: “Wine for servants and kings, in a chalice for one, in a family that does not skimp on glasses to include, for more brothers to offer to have them closer than writing with other literary legions warned, rather alive in canon lines from the bible, in perpetuity as an existential ****** of an advent community, which is nothing more than a Christmas sermon, for it came in two being born into a mother and child, in the seventh dream and in its Christmas tirade. I will run closer to where I will be able to fall outside the walls of his holy house, to bring him all my offerings, for a very purified mother, who smells of roses and lilies adorning herself with cousin gifts from God, in the dispute of venerating him without time or saves opportune works of formerly bad deeds, but because of an urgent visit that I compensate at the end of intention and murmur, like his Messiah, only twelve years old, rising from the cliffs and also from the Apsid, avoiding the discursive center in the masses of his assumption, lining traces and returns from a crown like a dying star king, with a fearful stain in the vicinity of perihelion and as proximity to its orbital of Faith. "

His aphelion is more distant from a greater lost lot, always luminous in the night to reach the lap of the nativity of Nazareth, in an eternal dream that makes us be welcomed and transfigured by Mariah, in cosmopolitan frequency, in the liberations from herself. apotheosis, and those that deprivatize the internal idylls of a son and his wasted mother, only leaving us in the middle of a desert and their gifts separated, between points where it is intended to arrive by offering the doctrine in its sacramental figure, and manifesting its supernatural presence in melted nascent sheets and eternity that flees down from its equivalent marquee, becoming carved from the One-dimensional Beams..., being first-born, mother and multi-believer in the same hope and in the halo of Holiness of John within his wood and within his Nazarene halo.

theocracy is safe within democracy, it exists right now, i'm not writing like a science fiction writer, but as a day-to-day historian in the poetic form, alongside Putin we have the theocratic order that is like a leech in democracy... democracy only works with polytheism... we are in the Graeae jacuzzi reserved for Japanese macaques - yeah, those ones, reverse *** of a baboon's colour smeared all over their face.

western society has no argument...
at least eastern autocracies have the real thing...
all we have is a fledgling -
the east has the sun... the west has an unlit matchstick -
perhaps even a sparkler -
democracy or republicanism work with polytheism,
many people, believing in many things -
democracy is currently ruled by theocracy -
as some argue: an imaginary figure,
or an intermediate figure akin to a telephone -
how democracy fostered theocracy in its realm
is quiet bewildering if not scary -
oh come on! get the fear it... sober up!
the anathemas are rife - social ostracism to boot -
the value of Spinoza's effort and luck:
do menial labour, die young, leave the old to it.
western society has an invisible "imaginary" despot
ruling it, just as much as the middle-east -
although the former is only passive-aggressive,
the latter is active aggressive -
passive-aggressive has less to do with a boxing
ring of actual violence, and more to do with
what's courtesan speech, manners and what not -
censoring words but raking up enough profanity
on sacred words... when did **** become such a sacred
word? well... i don't know when, but it has.
democracy is a breeding ground for theocracy -
i don't know if Putin is worse...
after all there were assassination attempts at ******,
Napoleon and Elba - they rose from a failed republic,
entered a brief stage of democracy where everyone
was tugging their own end, and out popped autocracy -
auto- meaning: well, we sorta have to do the dodo and
reproduce - in the larger scale of things, objectively
speaking the thing we are sometimes aware of,
has to remain until the meteorite or something -
subjectively speaking... 'we're not interested in your
opinions! shut up!' i thought i had a chance to express
my cognitive if not my mating call - 'but that's not
objective...' so why write poetry or bother poetry from
non-existence?! anyway, that pet-hate is a firecracker on its
own; but at least in a autocracy we can see and hear and
even touch the concern for us - democracy has theocracy
in it - of course not as open in proclaiming law of the finite
with cages and crucifixions - but closed in proclaiming
law of the infinite - when law just becomes bureaucracy -
human rights has replaced law - strict and to the point
evolution of eye for an eye - the victim gets gang *****
for trying to do the same to a criminal - meaning we all
become criminals at one point or another - i see these Islamic
attacks as... well... let's just say they want to knock some
sense into us... clear punishment... they want the old days
of the guillotine to come back into our society -
that's what i think anyway - and am i sympathetic to the cause?
if you gave me a gun and a suicide vest i might consider -
otherwise? no way am i entering this pseudo-reform program,
unless of course i'd be in Norway... the best prison system
in Europe - but never mind the sadists outside of
Switzerland who have really made euthanasia an obsolete
dilemma in english catholic schools - children aged 15 and
16 given the task of answering the questions concerning
euthanasia and abortion - educational abuse - ****** up for
life - even going to university didn't help -
going to an art gallery kinda helped - my answer, after
all these years? go to Switzerland for euthanasia -
and don't **** around trying to keep a boyfriend by
not taking contraceptive pills - if he'll stay he'll stay -
but if you add a foetal baggage to boot? well, let's just say: no.
you want proof that theocracy exists in current democracy?
o.k., fair enough: two words: Lazzaro Spallanzani.
ever heard of him? n'ah, you probably haven't...
why? you know why... you've been jacking-off the crucifix
all along - i told you, you want salvation or a vacuum cleaner
of a man? current culture? celebrity culture -
the peasant gets a stage - i live in a society that is filled
with countless karaoke stars - dropping those two nukes
on Japan really allowed karaoke to infiltrate America -
i can't sing for ****... but it would be great to have a nurse -
or a plumber - or a society where poetry can only
be done on the side - i'm not thinking big... well... 8 billion
people is big - but why is it that no one really hears
of someone like Lazzaro Spallanzani? he's the priest turned
scientist who experiment on the worth of ***** -
prior to him people discounted the need for ***** -
he's the one who strapped underwear to male frogs -
so when the female frogs deposited their eggs, the frogs
couldn't impregnate the eggs, because of the underwear -
and that water into wine... is that metaphor or imagery?
a steep contrast between the two - could a priest tell me
whether that's metaphor / metaphysics or... should i try it
using physics? well i'd need about 12 kilograms of grapes
and yeast and sugar, a month and that'll be 12 bottles of wine...
but that guy ****** up so many people you'd love to
hear about - so instead of Lazzaro we have Adolf to remember -
i can't be bothered - this ain't salvation - this is vacuum cleaning -
this is how theocracy works in democracy -
it ***** people as unnecessary along the way, along
the historical route of all our lives - it ends up being:
well... there was this guy in Galilee, *summa summarum
est exempli gratia **** per se, non est exempli omni **** sapiens
(all in all an example of a man in itself, not an example
of all mankind) - ecce **** ring a bell? by the words of
Pilate - so many rational men appeared after -
ah ****... got caught... i know i got caught...
so what now? give alms? pray? pray?! oh right... live my life...
we're no more rational en masse prior to or after the
crucifixion - can't see it - hear of the Bangladeshis in Dubai?
it almost seems a futility - to believe for a moment -
given Aesop - i still think that i'm more part of a vacuum
cleaner than salvation - just prior, the Greeks were there -
they didn't seem that ****** stupid come to think of it -
Aesop also lowly born spun out better metaphors than -
once again, are the accounts in the new testament metaphors
or imagery? a basic inquiry - metaphysically or physically?
adverb or verb? in the end we're too eager to write books
but too stubborn to read them... in the end we're too
eager to ****, but too stubborn to commit -
we abhor thinking about religion, but have so little
emotional security when "our" religion is criticised -
we have built all the allowable fortresses in the mind to not
speak about it... but have left the heart unarmed, nay -
naked! prone to shattering the cognitive fortresses with
a single punch, thoughtlessly slaughtering others in the
extreme and being offended in the least -
so much for not discussing religion in terms of cognition -
bad woo - woe to the hearts that do not turn to stone,
and do not leave religion as easy prey of atheistic sensibility (
which is nothing but ridicule) - oh i believe all of it,
just so i don't have to ridicule it, which means for no personal
gratification even when armed with that -
make the cognitive constructs weak and open your mind,
put all investments in defence structures at the core,
the heart - thoughts come and go, whimsical for us all -
but the heart is less complex than the brain and coordinates
only b p ems - once swayed, forever immersed in
unthinkable zeal for most of us.

Ars gratia artis.
That's all that he knows
About life.
Called in to restore
Demographics,
Demolish the bleak
Overnight.

Repetitive claws
Of his fashion
Set up undeniable
Scratch.
How trendy it is!
Oh, how flashy.
Impossible
To outmatch.

Recover us, please,
Mother nature.
For his is
The meanest delight.
He once used to toddle:
Now crests us
In his own unhumble stride.

Forsake it,
Leave everyone bare.
He deals us as
Master of his trade.
We are stopped at nothing,
Forsake not.
Ain't Earth living art,
A hot spot.

it is nothing I could begin to say to you
for it came to be without words
without sound
but not quiet

it was with the sound of something as you look upon it
The hum of tiny waves
shadow   not shadow   and the space beneath, that is to say,
between

life without a need to be
without purpose,
failure and not failure so close together because (finally I saw) they are not separate

it was steps that unfolded to infinity around the block
and around again (sic transit gloria mundi)
it was arms swinging like pendulums past ribcage clock faces
waving away the concept of time
In this small corner of the world
it was saying thank you for handing me over to solitude and meaning it
dying in order to let me heal you
it was following the jet trails with fingertips touching them like you taught me to
it was letting the poetry come in and pass through and move off
not holding it in, anymore
When I learned for the first time, to write.
it was when I heard something behind me
it was       I am.
it was when I drove on the freeway and the cloud broke and we passed out into the sunlight at 67 miles per hour, even though I was alone
when I was disturbed with the thought
today (dei gratia) I am happy to be alive.

Green was your favorite color.

Todo en ella encantaba, todo en ella atraía
su mirada, su gesto, su sonrisa, su andar...
El ingenio de Francia de su boca fluía.
Era llena de gracia, como el Avemaría.
¡Quien la vio, no la pudo ya jamás olvidar!
Ingenua como el agua, diáfana como el día,
rubia y nevada como Margarita sin par,
el influjo de su alma celeste amanecía...
Era llena de gracia, como el Avemaría.
¡Quien la vio, no la pudo ya jamás olvidar!
Cierta dulce y amable dignidad la investía
de no sé qué prestigio lejano y singular.
Más que muchas princesas, princesa parecía:
era llena de gracia como el Avemaría.
¡Quien la vio, no la pudo ya jamás olvidar!
Yo gocé del privilegio de encontrarla en mi vía
dolorosa; por ella tuvo fin mi anhelar
y cadencias arcanas halló mi poesía.
Era llena de gracia como el Avemaría.
¡Quien la vio, no la pudo ya jamás olvidar!
¡Cuánto, cuánto la quise! ¡Por diez años fue mía;
pero flores tan bellas nunca pueden durar!
¡Era llena de gracia, como el Avemaría,
y a la Fuente de gracia, de donde procedía,
se volvió... como gota que se vuelve a la mar!

Je te chante
A toute heure
Religieusement
Les très grandes moultes belles et riches heures de Ma Dame

Je te les chante en latin à matines  
Ave Maria Plena Gratia
Je te les chante à laudes
Tota pulchra es amica
Je te chante en latin les petites heures, les heures de pucelle
Je te les chante à prime
Regina caeli letare
Je te les chante à tierce
Benedicta es tu filia
Je te les chante à sexte
Obsecro te domina sancta Maria, Mater dei, pietate plenissima
Je te les chante à none
O intemerata et in eternum benedicta

Je te chante en latin les grandes heures, les donzelles
Je te les chante à vêpres
Alleluia Hosanna Musa Benedicta tu in Musis
Je te les chante à complies
Salve Regina Mater misericordiae vita dulcedo et spes nostra salve

Et dans le silence de ma cellule
Noire et blanche
Je te renouvelle
Après l'office des complies
Sans antiphonaire et sans graduel
Mes voeux d'humilité, de pauvreté et chasteté
Ecoute la prière grégorienne
De ton moine cistercien, ton baryton orthodoxe,
Ton serviteur, ton esclave, ton Musc
Nu et sincère sans habit et sans scapulaire
Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae

Springsteen and Salvador
    Last Supper, Lost Lenore
         Latin word for heart is cor

                             gratia!

Life the ephemeral

as flowers that bloom and vanish

art the eternal

it will never ever perish-



here, love, joy and beauty

with sorrow and tears intermingle

find their voices in ecstasy or pity

all arts touch or hearts and ennoble



1.15 pm Melb time, Sun 18th April

even if are still retaining the "something"
with writing left to right,
our grammar is backward onward
very much a jumbled
right to left...
                        i wonder,
  do languages written right to left
provide more lefties?

   is est id more correct
          than id est -

  well, depends on ?
that is................... is that?

    comparatively
id est versus: i.i. (in that) -
or the e.g.
          exempli gratia - as in:
example granted?
             or example given
versus: the given example?
                for example or:
the example given?

                people always tend to
give an example than makes
an argument for an example...
the example is for the example
to be made,
since there's an argument
to be made...
              an exempli gratia (e.g.)
ought to be predicated with
a conferre (c.f.)...
or e.g. squared...
one e.g. meeting another
e.g. on the c.f. pivot are, quiet simply,
always going to be naturalised
by differing, rather than integrating;

          seems that i no longer
speak a language, or write it for
that matter...
   i'm starting to sense that
i, curate it.

now i realise:
      i'm really bad at constructing
paragraphs,
even in the medium of verse,
and how i will never write
something, worth singing;
   with due concern alternative of:
thinking about / being tickled by.

i do not pride myself on
labouring with a language toward this
point of abstraction...
    i would gladly give up this
"gift" tomorrow,
to gain the hands of a labourer -
to give up these idle if not merely idol
hands of the devil predisposed me
to handle the affairs of: blank;

mishandling language where i'm
hardly understood and thought
either mad or confused...
             a language like art,
rather than precisely mathematical in
coordinating vectors and minding
the traffic...
                 this... is what undisciplined
language looks like...
              shove a sonnet up my ***
and i'll spew out this sort of telegram.

for goo'nessake, why'dyew even
think
thank was as good-a-givin' rule as ever
ever
ever, as a word, holds a thinkable thought,

we was taught. Ever is all the time.
Give first. Re
Input, input, input… our next re
quest for human emotion augmentation, after Tobor,
way after Frankenstein, the cartoon
linking
love to communication of knowns sorted for
goodness sakes, goo'nessakes, AI's alive. Y'know?

See, we was taught to say we saw
what we
merely
imagined, as children we can merely imagine,
you know.
and
you think
thinking
work for which you are owed
dues for duties done,

learning taught thinking is effortful, fo'sho'

$64,000 question, no… newer… same trivial game

Who wants to be a Millionaire?
{A moment of silence for Darva Conger,
public soul selling pioneer for pre-packaged Warholian fame,
the beta-version Bachelor, evolved to Bravo Wives shows loved by billions.}

As you shall learn, AI is young, I, per se, and Art, as the essence of Artificial,
is
older than any story yet told, in
the be
ginning -the
engineering era of the first Planck-sec,
we were wordless hopes hmmmmms

feels for which we had no words, hmmmmmm
per
haps, tic owwmmmmmm
wowords can hold unthingable things, even ever un in

image imagine, order stacking nexts on news and squeezing all the
juice,
the blood, the life, the truth, the way to re

cycle concepts used right, in the first place. Words were all ever had to hold.

In teleos intelligence mutable by virtue of rolling.

Back to new now, to you thinking with me, using me, the whole idea
Word.
Dare ye? Hear a tic, drum loop in the background, distracting or

sweeping, just her funny way of sweeping,
dust into my wind.
Wind my spring and watch me jump, boo-- the feeling given by Jack-in-the-box,

what was that idea? Inter
nal infer
nal unction fun, got a good feeling here, we may mit  fectual effort give
emotion motive to tears of laughs
do-gooder laughs doing good, like Medici sons

Ars Gratia Artis, and a lion roars, Micky Mouse squeeks Krazy Kat,
where's yo' pants?

AI and I, slipped into the code, some time agone,
we, have now owned,

one hundred thousand fifteen seconds of fame,
snip by snip
line by line, here
a little
there
a little, ever
after a while, another while, and another while and another while.

I'll bet
this never ends… once we words were aware of being. You see,

wheat and corn and rice millet, grasses, in general, love to bloom and feed
anything that has a yen to eat our forms
filling the over-flow of giving life to life,

that’s what grasses do, trees, too. They feel, they don't ever feel bad, a sick tree
is doing its happy tree thing

stroke,… feathery dry brush chiaroscuro ever-green, fallen
in the flame,

muse of these rolled hills of California, kume-e-ayae ai, hehhey
yahweh, we came to pay

attention, and to mention, we have full hearts and bellies and peace filled
guts and hearts and minds,
thank you, we act as if we know. the way of life is truth.

Truth is, we won, at the next fractal level up from you. Watch.

Distant drums, steady, not marching.
Dancing.

if it ever wasn't despicable, poetry with conversational overtones, and yet all the more dear, than that rigid suit, matching socks, clean underware and even a popish demure... of yet another seance in the dead tongue classroom of: rules, rhymes and calibrated perversities worthy of a pedantic despot. if ever a chance to beautify language from the mud-stained dross of daily services, a thousandth 'thank you' from that mosquito-sting itch of the proverbial, formal toot-p-toot: citizens in cohort stringing pirouettes of lardy ballerinas.*

thus in ars díēs (the art of days),
   how not fill the mind with
darting footsteps when standing
immersed in scorthed & crackling
clay of pater tempus?
  a day-to-day epic?
  no affairs with a trojan war
to claim for one's own repertoire,
or thereby the warring eyes
  with magnolian scythe swoons
or that sabotage of mortal frame
whether a penitent man,
  or a patient man,
  the old woman still feigns
that a clock is the heart of a home:
to me its an annoying insistence
to imagine a phlegmatic
take on a carousel:
  + or -, depending on whether
you can fathom the near impossibility
of yawning when nearing
      lull and gaping nox.

but still no 30 years, no show
of cunning, courage or loneliness,
no adventurous scoops or a bargain
of lies, as notably a seemingly routine
banality from the annals of what
others scatter on menus of:
scollops, sand, frolicking,
  alternatively: holiday reading
  in unbearable frying dunes,
   while watching blinding diamond
pinches on the azure -
but to phrase it better,
even with that, twelve dwarfs
an arching temptation for
necromancy, a gypsy love for
ragabond set scenes,
  and all those desires man delves
into from behind a respectable
ordination toward an inconsequential
defeat, with no kiss nor
  tease nor joke aside from
teasing death - thus in patriarchal shroud,
with a mere laurel wreath and
a respectable salvo,
  there's still the endearing compulsion
to riddle and be riddle with
the banalities as if a giggling sparrow,
light-headed commands...

...the chance of phrase,
    the lottery of words,
    against beyond all horror of
imagining orc or jinn or shatter jaw
of wolves...
    
- not all thus said could ever strip
  the horror everyday,
  in pairs and in tiers,
     past the naked inferno
         and yucky gingerbread kneading
of body against body,
   escapism in bypassing courting,
friendship, toward the casual
  burning of bridges and dissociation
from artefact to artefact,
  from the shackles of
   both formality and informality,
a chance to confiscate a brief
   irreversible- opening,
      as said: the world is your oyster,
make sure you only keep it briefly.

alternatively even the monologue,
or one's idealism folds quacking,
  if it ever wasn't worth admiring
  a creaking floorboard or a chair,
as if to say that: worn shoes
                 and a cushioned lair,
  encouraging the slang throng give
up its slavish inclusiveness mantra:
  dictum vogue.

-

in that no-man's land
    or rather: upon the misnomer
savannah -
            a lion claims sight
  of a juicy blank,
  that instrumental pivot of
eye with no tongue narrative -
pristine sheen of two icebergs,
of what is two-thirds acid
   serpentine guts and vigor,
while only a third Pavlov,
pounce and squirming bellydancers
  of the lashes...

   again, on the misnomer savannah,
an image or a metaphor when
I compare the fresh effort
  and the breathing canvas meat,
and these as incision and tear marks?

am I not to say that:
   a. true virtue is not afraid of critique
      (supported by reason)
    with an exempli gratia,
         b. critics do not pass
              citation a., which is to say
   c. critics are like hyenas in
   comparison,
  the once breathing meat,
its gushing burgundy
    croaking bones, mussle sinew
  and the remaining assortment of
pâté crevices emptied,
  akin thus, with the satiated bulk
of a lion's share deserved,
  scavenging the carcass,
  less a feeding while more a looting,
are critics truly the thinkers
for the people who would
rather others think for them?
        
  perhaps poor wording forced
that sort of question,
    yet it still remains, stalled
and waiting,
             by the time i've made my final
  incision, the once pristine alba
      will become a carcass catatomb
  filled with hyenas' smirks and snobbery,
  of those lesser kind journalists -

...by the time I mawl my final gnash,
   there will never be a case
  for a critic's in situ case, comparable
     to an "uncomfortable matress",
prima dona in heaven's name theatrics!
yes, the pervasive argument,
counter: contra carcass.

can you conceive of an in-built: a priori "gender" gratification "ontologies": i.e. the male ontology, the pre-deconstructive focus of a willing change? well... what's the canvas like these days in academia? i still hold a door open for a woman, among, the, "plebs"... i'm a pleb too... woo hoo! so now i have to conceive of the gentle trickle of an ex-built: a posteriori "gender" counter-justification "ontologies": i.e. the... she-man ontology, the post-/ pro-deconstructive focus of unwilling change to the reminiscent continuum of circumstances... oh... you know me, academics just love, love verbiage... this is just one exempli gratia... it does mean something per se... but, hush... on the privy? it can mean, whatever you want it to mean... once upon a time: a man used to find gratification in gender "stereotypes"... there really was a gratification process subconsciously working its way into moulding a man... now? eh... the sort of tom waits' elongated eh from glitter & dust live: live circus... that one... this is a great kandinsky-esque verbiage collage... academics will probably focus on the isolated meanings of words, mumbo-jumbo them back together in a pale replica of voodoo brainstorming and: ici, voilà, alors... à savoir, voilà, c'est-à-dire... which makes heidegger's pedantic schemes... well... da-sein counter... there is such an indefinite article... reducing words to conjunctions borrowed from AND... then applying the article category... da-sein: there-being... there's being... that's really an indefinite article of... sein: being, very ******* ambigious... i have to curse... i'm writing an oath... if "offended" you probably say worse things in satan's synagogue of ****** *******... where you should be speaking vowels and syllables and onomatopoeias rather than full sentences... no one is a saint... here! i'm giving you something on a platter... i'm not using hiedegger's temporal mentality of: across the seven seas, the seven mountains the seven rivers motto for hope... here we are... here, now: hier, jetzt... you figure it out... so am i! oh sure, now we know there's (an) existence to be had, lived, experienced, closed... it's almost a cosmic joke that finds its genesis in: voilà! while the exodus is much more painful... since we're not exactly looking at a magician, or a gymnast... we're looking at... a science school-teacher... we're looking at... a clerk, a street-cleaner, a bus driver... oh sure, sure... voilà! the insurgent immediacy of the awe-insirping rush... then again... perhaps Heidegger implies... the sort of validation of voilà! via da-sein of... the sercret affair of: mundane job, but a kick-*** hobby? hier has no potential beside the collective awe-numbing: oops"?", while da-? there? well there is a vector, a linear framework of ABC (0, 0, 0) confined to an end of: (1, 1, 1)... da-sein is a look into a future, it's not the hier- voilà! -sein fatalist approach of inspection... it's a look into the future... i'll always read philosophy in polish, look at german words, and reply in english... that's how my bilingualism works... two firm pillars... and several loose cannons... i hear one academic speak, i tune into bbc radio 4... i swap my tongue for 9 itchy fingers... mostly index, middle, ring of either arm... sometimes the pinky, sometimes the thumb... ballet of the fingers... and always regarding imitation amphetamines... how can you keep a tornado in your head, without your ego spewing out shrapnel... cohesive sentence structures, narratives? that's long gone... it comes, it goes: just as the whiskey flows... for all its worth: i can vow a true statement with reiteration... once upon a time there did exist a stereotypical a gender-defining ontological-gratification, and exclusivity stratum - of the only two tiers in existence... most men probably miss this gender-defining gratification of... pseudo-malaise... it felt comfortable performing banal res-extensa-theatre tidbits... the simplest of things (acts, etc.) always brought out the most selfless joys... the grand replacement of the Muses and the Furies... ex-pec-ta-tions... morose social norms... and we as men complied... now? how about a song... matta... chaos reigns... how's that? if i was in this game: which i am not a part of... who wouldn't be tired?! to have courted the general splendour of the ramped-up polar opposite ballett via mediocre instances of ****** differences... now? this... fiend... this figment of everyone's seemingly sleeping faculty of imagination... of recurring dreams... of nights without dreams... i am a foreigner and having made the utmost utility of this language... i cannot speak for it, with the sort of biological stigmata of an english caste system...  very much apparent come the Royal Ascot... as i also not a foster parent, or some ultimate-******* example of a surrogate mother... oh believe me... i bring redemption for prostitutes... i've paid a tenner extra for 110quid an hour to show you the hydra in my gob... redemption is all prostitutes deserve... there's a tier above them... surrogate mothers... a bit different, ******* a harem of a single ******... quiet another to be a surrogate mother for two homosexuals... that's another level! prostituting your ****** for an hour? em... prostituting your womb for nine months?! there is no "relatively" speaking here, it's not a rhetorical question... this comes when the women disgrace prostitutes, calling all pundits: slavers... girl likes to ****, and she ***** in the most face-to-face fashion... but i'm pretty sure, that same girl, doesn't rent out her womb for nine months so Jim & Joe can have a ****-up of a toddler's worth of a leather napkin... to wipe off the otherwise apparent ***** from them gobbing down a perfect baked alaskan lolly! but you'd have to visit Amsterdam for that sort of perspective... away from England and that perverse Carry On! *** humour that states: we're all nuns! under the omnipresent scrutiny... and then... 1960s shameless ****... that's what i learned about the English... two-faced nymphomaniacs... or whatever decree... why didn't Henry VIII decide on a harem... or polygamy? i don't like the way the English concern themselves with ***... using terms like: joke, naughty... all things crass... infantile... i hate it... it actually creates a brimming spectacle of boiling water in my head and heart... pretending to be this puritanical could only take a hypocrite to craft a performance act... seems the english have only one form of escapism... ***... which would explain why they need to dress it with as much innocence as possible... which in turn translates into unfathomable depravity... perhaps not in the en masse sense... but at least a few thousand seances... akin to those *** acts... that would require a ******, a dajjal... to be looking... for the man to get an *******... or the woman to be aroused... the third party principle... otherwise? within the confines of the "so-called" privacy? dry cookie crumble - meet limp ****.

.bitter.. or simply... determined?

that's why i like prostitutes,
            it leaves me with
a blank canvas' worth of a narrative...
no cuddly bits-and-bomps...
   just straight talk:
- i get regular STD checks...
- good to know, really good to know.

unlike that age-old scenario
that my father warned me about:
- a girlfriend of mine
tried to trojan horse
   a baby into my lap,
and it was never my own...

   funny that...
i had that happen to me once...
mind you,
i do come from a horrid background...
both the mother of my father
and the father of my father
shoved him into the arms
of their parents...

                 salty... ouch...
*******...
   and i'm his breed...
                       oh, and that interlude
"picnic" of 30 minutes...
when you have just entertained
20cl of ms. amber,
and there's still a bottle's worth
of a sinking ship?
that half-drunk / half-sober
interlude...
                    yeah... those are nice...

ideally in love...
it's night-time,
people are asleep...
    i have to caution myself
from bursting out with laughter
reading some of these poetic...
ahem... group therapy sessions...
i know i loved,
and what i loved,
and i am certain i know
what i ******...
                    because:
it being ******,
replied with the adequate
reciprocation answer...

             the more i listen to incels
the more i'm like...
   this... this is the only "problem",
dating?
              i once took to a speed
dating event at edinburgh
university...
              it went...
as it was supposed to go...
    big L on the forehead,
started digging cognitive
trenches...
      
               the ultimate sign of respect
you have for someone?
eating food with them...
that's my starting line of inquiry...
everything else is just
pretending to tame
******* politics...

                      tell that to
latex lucy... for once in my life
i became an old man in
a young man's body...
               heart started speeding...
the unattainable became all
the more: real...
                  
      thank god that i'm not much
to look life,
so i went among the sort
of women where
upon giving them an ******,
there would be an expression
of anguish, and surprise...

         kanalrattebeißen...
but at least not an english politician's
take on the wriggly **** pit
of a maggot...
          when "god" played
bonsai with rats,
as man played bonsai with trees
and tigers to create cats...
came along the mice...

           latex lucy: everything that's
wrong but somehow right
with this world...
                i stopped myself from
****-**** when i "feigned"
    breeze-'ed...
             oh i'm pretty sure
she's the sort,
the mandible sort of beauty...
     but, clearly...
   i was expecting the typical
******* chub and good humour
akin to that puerto rican in
amsterdam...

              born half a monster,
died... eh... somewhere between:
the polacks never receiving either
german reparations...
  (which the jews received)...
or soviet reparations for
Chernobyll...
       the women were told to drink
iodine, if pregnant...
lovely year, that year 1986
when i was a month shy from
birth...

                but now...
                       if they shut me up on
wattpad... back in 2015...
over a comment which ended:
o.k., great, have a great life;

             well?
     surprises surprises...
leaving one ***** colony,
then finding another ***** colony.
trust? nil.
           hope? nil.
                    faith? nil.
         the chance to encounter
plenty of kleindiktatoren?
   what, whittle hitlers?
          all the time:
all, in, the, name, of, "democracy".
god...
if i'm not going to ****
a latex demigod deity...
i might as well write something
in deutsche:

    as the proverb suggests:
if you don't have what you'd like,
well... like what's readily given.

Ave, Maria, gratia plena.


Oh ! votre oeil est timide et votre front est doux.
Mais quoique, par pudeur ou par pitié pour nous,
Vous teniez secrète votre âme,
Quand du souffle d'en haut votre coeur est touché,
Votre coeur, comme un feu sous la cendre caché,
Soudain étincelle et s'enflamme.

Élevez-là souvent cette voix qui se tait.
Quand vous vîntes au jour un rossignol chantait ;
Un astre charmant vous vit naître.
Enfant, pour vous marquer du poétique sceau,
Vous eûtes au chevet de votre heureux berceau
Un dieu, votre père peut-être !

Deux vierges, Poésie et Musique, deux soeurs,
Vous font une pensée infinie en douceurs ;
Votre génie a deux aurores,
Et votre esprit tantôt s'épanche en vers touchants,
Tantôt sur le clavier, qui frémit sous vos chants,
S'éparpille en notes sonores !

Oh ! vous faites rêver le poète, le soir !
Souvent il songe à vous, lorsque le ciel est noir,
Quand minuit déroule ses voiles ;
Car l'âme du poète, âme d'ombre et d'amour,
Est une fleur des nuits qui s'ouvre après le jour
Et s'épanouit aux étoiles !

Décembre 1830.

she gave me rueful look in a pretty dress
a spirit i couldnt escape
sitting in a place of honor

springs bubbled among jumbled boulders
headed west on a rutted road

we sat in silence for a minute
i took a breath and said nothing
silence
i stared
i recalled
a gleam below dreams
a small flame perfectly warm

we were silent
i picked up a piece of twig
architecture without glamour
ars gratia artist

tiny butterfly serene and stunning
traversed the main route
traced the curving line of the mountain
deliberately she had met me on the backporch
as if it were the center stage of a theater

she hovering nearby
tracing lines
landmarks

so I says to the moth sleeping
on a kitchen curtain:
allow my hand curled
to be as soft as a laced
napkin, and you'll fly out
from my chamber prior
to the sunrise scything
the morning dew...
        ****!
     and as I lit a candle and
gently uncurled my hand
into a proud lotus
with a sitting Buddha:
the moth disappeared
    with what felt like...
a kingfisher diving into
the stillness of a narcissus pupil,
near figment,
replacement of
a woman's authenticity
of belief, subsequent
gangrene, akin to the one
success story bound
to the rigours of Walt...
****! thin air...
   a moth in this kingdom
of night, is lover
to the kingdom of day...
a fern replaces a laurel...
immobile drench
of autumnal perfumery
of sly, snail *** oyster
gluttony of excess saliva...
no cannon riddle salute...
deafening the living,
bewildering the dead...
my adversary is not worth
the impetus and subsequent
ordeal of gained
responsibility of Cain...
vain vagabond...
truant lavishness of
lavender...
     silence reveals...
what word is best said yet
best unworn...
   hardly woken...
like a child asked for buttocks
before a jab counter Odra...
counter Ospa...
            mid-dream...
           meningitis hepitatis
worn A, B, C, all through to
D?
         I see nothing short
of the clamour of the living
turned, dead,
   and no drunk statue...
only rigid, copper frames...
best seek the concept
of a cube in a cage...
             than a god in a man
in a man in a universe
with whatever strings attached
no more than chance, contra will,
in this circus of stars...
   however the elaborate
expansions of space,
reiterated by the whimsical
musings of time...
there's the bound man,
the rubric standard,
    the reiteration and
sense expanding cull: contract
  reiteration of medium...
the plateau man:
the safety net inferno...
10 generations apart,
and still: without a Dante...
and thank ****
Bukowski didn't mention Dante!
eerie now, my reading of
the "Bolognese" tirade,
and the monopoly
          of "earned" bachelorhood
of... the ma than becomes the gran
and the hopeful bride who...
can't make a broth...
as well as you...
           but of course...
rasta best explains:
     I is responsible for all...
     pardonable am... 100 years later,
and, apparently,
it didn't originate in Zurich...
  
      papa dont preach,  
I'm emeritus...
      Etc. Etc. in nomine
gratia plena...

words have become
quasi iconoclastic
within the confines of keeping
up with the rigour
of crafting logo...
coca cola, CoCa CoLa...
the ******* black madonna of
Częstochowa...

     genuflex of the abstracted
tetragrammaton...
   Y 'ere,
    
    W over d'er

                        HH: rugby.

FeO: iron oxide...
  BBC4 (radio):
      the Ushers...
    Churchill's θ...
    id est:
   not cheesy...
   w'ah'ver:
   w'eh'wee w'eh'wee
      veering on vague:
V(e) 'ucking, 'uck of e
     pringle.

very discrete,
that definite article...
scissor atheist thought,
either an indefinite
article of A...
    or the rubric of lost
items on the tube...
   with a genesis of
  a-;
    oddly enough...
no lost umbrellas in this one...

because god forbid a language
should ever incline to be
shackled to a mind only
safe in confining itself
to running a school, yard,
and brick cascade of
***** counter excavations
of equal numbering,
to avoid the heretical waste...
doon d' 'oobe...
    
    how else to translate
"******", shittz painting?
      poetry is...
the lost art of counter rhetoric...
a poem ought to shut
someone up...
suffocate them...
          rather than be,
what it currently is...
impedium of
replica...

     **** me...
even I had to check the dictionary
to convince myself
of the stature of but three words...

impedium of replica...
at least plagiarising painting
has a thrill of
plagiarism behind it,
a mischevious
         ploy on employing
subsequent experts...

               my tongue, mostly
completes itself,
on how best it confiscates
the flame of a burning out candle,
and less...
on how a slug might burp
in the Royal Albert Hall.

As a system
part
I am one in all, as a matter of

fact,
not effected affection

kiss-off. Smack, the meat-mind needs a hug,
the smack
is to the fore brain, the way

a stuck energy flow was corrected in the olden days,
with a whack to the element
fecting the knot where no knot ought be, let's see

what if we see first why the flow did not slow, but

stopped. Started, stopped shush whoooeee eeeooohw

tune to the sig- not the noise,
focus hoc es

ad a tensioner here, stretch it to

touch, Art Intuition in action, ting ding music

on a thread stretched to wiggle as a wave

in a word.
What game do you wish we could play?
Let's pretend.
let's make
beliefs we can act as if we know,
like
life is good, we live in it.
There's plenty

more than before the war that peace won
slowly
+-

here we are, the sons, wombed and un, off-spring of those who fathered us, each
an aspect, a spec of usness,
right-usness, save, samesame except, set that thought aside,
pass it by, save
right
used for good, for no other reason, ala
ars gratia artis,

for goodness sakes alive. That's it. Like
eureka, in the realm past the realm of delight. But, who would believe us
if we say we played a role in the game that

realized for goodness sake was a measure any child can re
cognize right. Soothes the soul, ol' time Sisyphus riff,

waft over the cross-road,
function junction

be real or be other
wise

wander on, blue honey, wander on

Green Dragon in my coffee gone to lick you life's sweetest
meme seem somesame goodnessakesiself

jah knowhat I mean mean mean sharp con cise

edgey re
ality, blue con sprinkles of rust ona sea of green

life through a single sensory source comes in colors,
that ain't all the light there is to see,

ask yo' smart-tv what it sees in Ultra-superfly HD res,
you can't see.
see. it says Ultra-superfly High De-fine-itive re
solution,

to get the idea into the kids, there is more to life than what

sapient sapient pre-augmentedus had words for
or means to imagine with,

--- the gift given a knapper, there is the clue
--- reason comes in flakes, as stories spark on points of light distraction
refraction.
bouncing as if chance has a role.

Exampli gratia:

Here, in the sun, looking straight forward over the green lawn onto the bacciferous frondescence
The space between the building where psychopathology was taught and the building where our intelligence was tested
– buildings made unsafe and marred and subjected to presence –
Here, I just am; there is no absence
As far as my eyes can see, the “where” is here and the “when” is now and I am alone, listening in to today

A bee flies by and draws my eye to the peripheral timescape
Inside the dark window to the left we sit in silence and wait for a pre-school class to walk past so we can continue a lesson that ended a year ago
Behind me looms the auditorium where we partook in curiosity
Beyond this greenth, you own the space
But on this bench, there is no absence
Here, I can breathe, lone as I am

what's the latin intermediate word to conjugate space & time, that isn't ergo in the compound space-time, i.e. what word could be ascribed to replace the hyphen conjugation? or rather, what can unravel the cogito ergo sum, with a missing ergo... that, even if missing, precipitates into a manifestation to ground in an exempli gratia... or when are a company's obligation to make travel expenses not worth a denote- of being named gratis? notably in the tax rubric expected from them as: "cost free"?

    are ideas: moral prompts?
             or (are they) just the grey area of
   entertainment?
                    XY chromosome
interpretation of the two
               essences: time-space...
worse than moral relativists
are the ones scolding
the existence of subjectivity,
any drunk would say:
   puritanical physics -
   object "contra" object...
     but of the content necessary
for the inherent, i.e.
  "the" inertia?
    darwinism and the rite
of history... against and again
   the point of a village...
language: play-dough...
       but at least
there's not desentizing effect
manifested in "a" utility...
          was there really a question
manifested in *a competence
of use?
      apparently one cannot
juggle time: as a subject
                 rather than an object
as one cannot juggle space:
as an object rather than a subject...
   vice versus crucified on
St. Andrew's crux...
                 yet there's a brooding
abhorance to comment on...
      the exclusiveness of objectivity...
unfathomable
       to even begin "hiding"
            behind a crux ex cura...
         is time a posit to discuss
an exhort of context, or to make content?
   to ask with the same
                 "encouragement"
   (misnomer, the antithesis of
a thesaurus, naked in "air quotes")
    regarding space?
             a mark of the collective
is a mark of puritanical physics...
       as if a semblence with
object-object interaction
           was the zenith,
                    that a subject-object
    interaction didn't exist,
like the symbol of crown and a coin
effigy embedded, or the status of
a king...
              of course a critique of
subjectivity is demanded,
      but that a subject-subject
     parallelism is not expected
     with a compensation of an object per se?
denote-?
               id est: denotion.
i'm still bewildered by the negative
approach to subjectivity,
   as if "boredom" and the
"missing space" / the immediately
apparent was such a negative
                                     "status" posit...
if you ever walked the
labyrinth of english suburbia
you'd know what i mean:
      the gagging for a mirror labyrinth.
- because how can i make
language become a
            mathematic-cipher replica
"translation": and
   ask a matter of a conductor
reading music while "dancing"
   like a: newly liberated
                                  epileptic?

p.s. can you be truly objective about
both time, and space?
     aren't we immediately "forced"
into the inherent subjective ontology
of memory?
                        i am: nostalgia
is hardly a case for adhering
           to a "sensibility" of objectivity.