"ciggarettes" poems
We were once better together
When we were madly in love
All we have are broken dreams
Memories of what this once was
At night visit photo reels
Happiness left in the past
I was a citizen of your world
Instead of immigrant trespassed
Toss and turn in twisted torn sheets
Up late because I can
Don't sleep next to eachother
Holding grudges with gentle hands
We used to share same mattress
And blankets as well
Awake to face every morning
No reason to argue or yell
Into memories I retreat
With no success
Sound of your laughter a mocking song
And half-hearted at best
The day we promised to always be
Friends no matter what
Forever lingers on my heart
Perfectly etched with sharp cuts
The way you looked at me stayed different
Tone of your voice when you'd say my name
From touch to your kiss to everything in between
Only blue eyes remained the same
Our soft skin no longer free of marks
Nowhere near as fit
Smiles on rosy cheeks
Naive and unaware of the coming ********
Back then conversation was not forced
Felt comfortable baring our hearts
These days hardly speak to eachother
Were much happier at the start
And darkness fuels nostalgia
Resurfaces in its daily routine
Screaming when exactly and where along the way
Did you start forcing what you mean?
I miss the couple we were
Passion without the pain
When your heart was still golden
I wasn't half-insane
Hours and minutes spent in a hurry
And cigarette packs
Problems that seemed so significant
Give anything to have all of that back
Nov 16, 2020
Nov 16, 2020 at 6:30 PM UTC
Please one more time tonight
I gotta get right before Sunday service
Pinhole pupils gouged by beauty
I am in love with the store clerks
Ringing up ciggarettes and vidalia onions on their cash registers
I just want to come over that conveyor belt
And kiss them
Dilated impulse control
Has me reaching out into the darkness
Looking for your hand
I'm not alone
In my head at least
You lie next to me
It feels a little bit like life in here
Away from the noise and the din
Have a shotgun barrel beneath my chin
Thinking of rebirth and a god with eyes
I load up .6
Just for the hell of it
I just want to see
If I'll wake up tommorow
And find you still sleeping on my ribs
Jun 22, 2013
Jun 22, 2013 at 3:23 PM UTC
Smoke in the air
Ciggarettes on my tongue
The sweet taste of nothingness
The water is warm
But my heart is ice cold
Unsaid words like acid in my throat
Aug 31, 2013
Aug 31, 2013 at 10:47 PM UTC
one drop to stop the shop
two drops to get back
three drops to rest on brick
four drops to move from stress
five drops to feel lucky
six drops for selfies
seven drops for flavor
eight drops to soak the mops
nine drops for massive clouds
ten drops for topping off
ten drops to block out the sun
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 1:14 AM UTC
Could you smell like ciggarettes one more time?
It's cancerous taste brings me back
To a time of youth and rebellion
The feelin of invincibility would take over control
Inhale; time feels as short and thin as the air in my lungs
The taste oh the taste, a bitter remorse, hint of curiosity
The only taste I ever knew, ****** lungs
Could you smell like ciggarettes one more time?
Jul 26, 2013
Jul 26, 2013 at 9:14 PM UTC
I write now and then,
mostly when i'm drunk.
Mostly I think of you.
I come back to check my grammar.
The dumbest thing ever,
with these feelings taking over...
I know i miss you,
and i think i love u
with this English language keyboard.
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 8:25 PM UTC
I watch your house from fade into the horizion
From the back of a pick up truck
Back to texas in the summer
I smell you on my t-shirt
I'm just a ghost
Your just a dream
The stars are bright out on the Highway
Once you climb down from the light
You start to see the dark is someonelse
Someone other than the son
My breath is steam outside a bar now
Breath you once felt on your neck
Cherry stems Jack Daniel twilight
All of these girls have eyes so bright
But not as bright as your sleeping form
A window full of pale moonlight
I hear you whisper in my drunken hour
How your never gonna leave
A kiss I think has no distance
The phone gives me your kiss on the cheek
So I go home back to a lonley motel
With dying lights and floating moths
Empty packs of ciggarettes
I watch the ashes fall and blown in the wind
I can't hear your voice
I sleep alone here every night
But you sleep soundly on his bed now
you took off
that little ring
that I worked day and night for
While you sleep away from me
I hear your yell o'r the reciever
Hollering a name I know
How he loves you and he treats you
Better than you've ever known
Does he work his fingers to the bone
Barbed Wire DUST
Sleeping doesn't come so easy
Sleeping won't do any good
Beer and STAR-FILLED Nights in texas
A lone star state of mind
Old country on the radio
That my grandad listened to
Dec 7, 2011
Dec 7, 2011 at 12:05 AM UTC
I always had a connection to ciggarettes because they quite frankly reminded me of myself.
Like : how people desired them so desperately when they were miserable , how people valued them so intensly when they burned away all their troubles and treated them with such caution.
But, then I connected with them because as soon as I burned out ( became fragile and fell into a temperate pit of darkness ) my ashes fell to the ground. I was stepped upon and left all alone on the numbing winter soil alongside the damp mist and minute insects.
This is where I found my family. Other humankind just like me, mortals who have been stepped upon and wounded emotionally and demanded when needed and then suddenly despised and judged ; judged for solely declaring their beliefs. Beings that have been disregarded from communities for merely attempting to combat the injustices of our corrupt society.
My family and I thought we would resurrect and magically become unbroken and desirable again.
But darling not all stories have happy endings .
Jul 3, 2015
Jul 3, 2015 at 12:13 PM UTC
Contrary to popular
and scientifically proven belief
s
m
o
k
i
n
g
is good for you.
**I
inhale
denial
and
exude**
satisfaction
Jan 9, 2013
Jan 9, 2013 at 11:38 PM UTC
4:27 am
Outside on my balcony
Four stale ciggarettes
Smudged red lipstick
Hint of whiskey breathe
It's cold!
Silk robe
On a vintage bar stool
Feeling inspired
By no other than you
Incredible
Hours of flirting
Minutes of kissing
Endless of touching
240 seconds of a *****
"Thanks doll call me sometime again"
Gone.
Here i am incomplete
Felt like nothing
Why?
Oh why?
We had such a good evening
Then dinner for two
Imagined
What damage a thought can do
Thought it was worthy
Almost too good
Girl afraid
Simply used
He got his
What do I get?
Sloppy kiss goodbye
Four stale ciggarettes
****** tonk breathe
Good hair for nothing
Simple regret
Jan 29, 2015
Jan 29, 2015 at 6:13 AM UTC
You told me how you sailed the seas in nineteen hundred
53
You joined the navy as a boy
Just so you could see.
You told me of ports in far away lands
Where Beautiful Women laugh
Who with red lips kiss you late at night
Drinking from a flask
Your words were true
Of oceans blue
Green seas
Clearest water
The salty taste and ciggarettes
Friends coming home in boxes
You always say those were the days
The days that always haunt you
You learn to live, and love and drink
And drink straight from the bottle
Nov 21, 2011
Nov 21, 2011 at 1:55 AM UTC
I used to have a diary that I named 'Tina' because somebody told me that it made writing easier. As a way to get me to journal.. ?
Dear Tina,
I feel so incapable and small. I feel like **** for all of my short comings. But more than that, I feel like **** for the **** I've had to go through. I hate how as I feel every feeling and especially when it gets bad, my mind instantly goes to the logical side of things. "You're feeling this way as a result of not taking your medication. You're feeling this way because of experiences you had as a child, and that's completely normal." And I list all of the reasons why I feel the way I feel. Why the **** do I have to make logical sense out of how I feel and not just simply let myself feel?
And none of this matters at all. Because at the end of the day it's still going to hurt, and I'm never going to forget my childhood. And I don't know HOW to move on.
And then there are the good days and feelings of euphoria where I feel the pain and I am able to address it without letting it consume me. I know it's there, but there's so much more than pain. Thank god for the times where I'm actually really happy.
But tonight I feel like **** And I miss my mom. And I even miss the house with ciggarettes in the flower pots. I just really wish I could hug my mom again one last time. And feel her heart beat against mine again. I wish I could have said goodbye. I'll never have that closure. And I'll never have a do-over.
I only hope to be a better person than I am today, and keep on growing. I hope to be kind and compassionate even when I've grown to be so cynical. I hope to never stop finding the sky beautiful and majestic, or the wind soothing.
And I hope to always be worthy of the love those closest to me give me. Because that really is what keeps me going when it comes down to it.
Those that love me make it all worth it.
Jul 22, 2017
Jul 22, 2017 at 2:27 AM UTC
Sorry for saying ****
I had no idea how bad it would hurt when I tore your name from my vocal chords. I had no idea that I would fall in love with the idea of falling in love. Maybe I'm just meant to be lonely. It's funny because my standards rise and fall but you seem to be a perfect match no matter where they are.
In not sure what that says about you
Ow, ****
There I go again. Sinking a ciggarettes fingers deep into my lungs to pull out the words "I love you". I think I over shot though. Instead of not saying it when I look at you, I can't say it when I see my reflection. I spend every waking moment trying not to think about it, so I guess I spend every moment thinking about it.
Well, ****
I'm tired.
I sleep.
I wake.
I sleep.
I haven't eaten a full meal in almost 2 weeks and my stomach shrinks at the thought of having ever contained the bile that pours from your mouth and into mine. Just the other I told myself I hated you, I didn't believe it but it was worth a try. I can't say when I'll ever stop associating your name with nicotine, but until then, here's to you tobacco industry for making me feel a little less alone.
The truth is I ____ my friends.
.
.
.
I think something is wrong here let me try again
I love my friends.
There we go.
It just took a minute for me to realize I have those. I'm still not used to it.
I hope they understand that I love them regardless of their flaws, and they always have me. Even if they forget about me I'll still be here.
And here you are. You can't even answer my texts but I still find myself entranced by your call whenever you crying pierces the night.
I guess I _____ you.
Wait.
I _____ you.
.
.
.
Finally.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 4:19 AM UTC
they say that theres no place like home,
but i have never felt more terrified or alone.
if i could find a deserted island,
and bring my lover with me,
bathe in the ocean, and live off of
the fishes in the sea,
i would, leave this place for good,
if only i could.
i dont believe i would even
need the ciggarettes and coffee then.
but oh,where do i begin?
the madness never ends.
if only i could escape
the drugs,
the hate,
and all of the chaos that you create.
i never wanted this war that you started,
i just wanted to feel safe,
but that seems impossible in this god forsaken place,
ran by drugs, wannabe thugs, & toxic wastes of space.
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 1:00 PM UTC
i ate
an apple
while the hamster
began swinginf from thte branch
and licking
juices
from the cat
droppings which
formed
an impressive pile in the corner of the room.
the door
swings open
and man
yells
for the broom
so as to bash someone on the head---
usually
a random child who would spit gum on the lawn.
laughter is evident
and the breeze is cool
and the sun
is healing
and the clouds
are soaring
over equador.
i eat 6 chicken fingers
and 4 burgers
with a glass of juice.
ciggarettes are $10 now
so **** that.
and the fat lady outside with her little dog alwyas on the phone and always
glaring at me
will one day be vaporized by an incoming meteor shower which
specifically targets
her hut on the culdesac.
worms
are eating my ulcers
and the sweat
quenches my thirst
when sometimes
i'd rather be out talking to myself in peace
because
no one bothers a crazy person
especially when they're just mere centimeters
away
and ready to ****
May 31, 2017
May 31, 2017 at 12:38 AM UTC
The warm ache of *****
Touches my stomach with soft
Hands and all i can think
Is why
and the tickle in my throat
From nicotine's playful kiss
Makes me sicker than before
Woozy and exhausted
I cry to myself
And wonder why you're far
Gone from me
Loneliness caresses my face
With hot tears
While I panic
And want to die
In the place that doesn't feel like home
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 10:00 PM UTC
Im terrified of COPD
But still smoke ciggarettes like a well used chimney
Soot building up the ashes unswept
Making it to 60, probably not a safe bet.
Drinking at altitude to catch me a better buzz
Fly fish for escape from grey matter fuzz.
If everything i built came tumbling down id stand on the rubble, three feet taller and proud.
Im better at descruction self disgused as help
A parking garage where a coffee shop stood, this is progress I yell.
This is self induced stolkhome im over exposed. The apture is broken light is burning my bones.
So Paint a picture with my ashes gradients of grey
Reimagine what i am instead seeing the self hate,
And ill thank you. For all the help and the memories
But nothings really changed and ill burn the photographs and ask
Remember these?
Sep 4, 2017
Sep 4, 2017 at 3:50 PM UTC
Am i your pepperoni?
Saucy, cheesy, tasty
and you still need other pizzas for your starving belly?
You hate the crust you think it's doughy
But you kept me for today's dinner watching your favorite football team player
and a glass of coke to make you feel better and ciggarettes as your life saver
You left the last bite
for tomorrow night
And there you go
No more pepperoni slopping your polo
Ha Ha Ha now you eat mayo.
Aug 3, 2018
Aug 3, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
Upon a distant mountain,
My head was swept away
By the river of light, floating in the constant cosmic ocean.
My head was swept away,
Back to that magnanimous moment.
A star plucked from the sky and placed in my palm.
Gifted by bright eyes; an earnest lover of life.
The magnitude of it brighter than any moon,
Its fire sank into my skin, spun new fate and sparked the beginning of new friends.
Little caravan birdies, bright songs and struggles. A spectrum of what the best we folk here have to offer and often they surprise me still.
Laughter that could shake the darkest of nights with a vibrancy that could only be described in mushroom trips.
Magic casters with bags of tricks to flick phosphor fire into the eyes of brutal grey matter spooks,
The ones that hide in pillows and in lonely ciggarettes.
Family made from bottles of wine, borrowed feathers; boundless flight.
Lovey wonders, starlight disguised as us,
Ribbions of stellar dust.
When I gaze into the creases of my palm,
I still feel its warmth, still see their light,
Forever grateful for the star plucked,
From that magnanimous night.
I just ****** love my friends.
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 6:16 PM UTC
The cold wind of the night blows soothingly
As I light my ciggarettes
Burning away my life as well
The thoughts of the past came back to me
Like a VHS tape complete with the date and time
Plays back the time when I was able to feel
Back when you were there
The smile, The laugh, The silly jokes
Those were the good times
You left without notice
My heart ran away with you
I don't even feel anything
The world is just numb
I'd like to thank you for it
I've fallen into the dark abyss of numbness
And I like it
As I was finishing my thought
My ciggarette burnt out
Apr 24, 2018
Apr 24, 2018 at 1:30 PM UTC
Put the ciggarettes down
Pick the **** up
Let your lungs heal
The mind filled with poisons
No more
Cleanse and reflect
The addiction
Addiction
Addiction
Is manufactured
3x as addictive
Guaranteed
For you to lose money health
Put them down
The singing box
Opens like a juke box
But you always know the song
It's one of skull and bones
Let's pick up the green music
Play loud
Smoke on
Without the death of those around you
The love will surround you
Let it in
The herb is good
The smoke is good
Blow like trees
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 5:24 PM UTC
I feel so mac and cheesy
Smokin ciggarettes and wheezy
I forget that im a werido
I **** the flow.
Well
Oh come on
yes i know
that i disurpt everybodies flow
walk in a room talk a bit
and try to find a place to sit
Awkward and shaking all my leaves stirring up the honey bees i feel my tounge is being stung
That was an awkward hug..
****
But give me a skateboard and a hill ill bounce to music and just chill
Wave my arms i ride the waves
Gravity pullin my way
the wind it flows in funny ways
I feel at peace.
Hit the bottom silde and stop
Awkward stuff it catches up.
Dec 27, 2016
Dec 27, 2016 at 5:16 AM UTC
We used to make memories during summer
We were careless and free and aimless and wild
I miss those days
Of teenage wonder
Of endless summers
Of stealing dresses from fashion boutiques
Smoking **** from receipts
Collecting smashed ciggarettes
We coughed until we laughed
We loved until we cried
And we drank so much
We felt like we could fly
Through all the tears and confusion we made it through
Into adulthood..
Jan 29, 2018
Jan 29, 2018 at 11:52 PM UTC