stillhuman

stillhuman Dec 2021

Stumble after stumble after stumble
I have stumbled
through the roots of this forest
there's no light
passing through branches
just the sound of life
right outside it
And I try to reach
outstretch my hands
but my fingers get scalded
as I point them in the wrong direction
But all paths look the same
in the forest
as frantic I try to find
my way out

When they said "it's time to experiment", I should have assumed that meant "trial and error"

#growingup #adulthood #growth #changes #choices #life #indecision #mistakes #suffocating

stillhuman Oct 2021

Three-years long

Carpe diem my ***
you don't catch the moment
you don't capture life
you just take what you please
and then leave me with ease
you just do as you say
nothing really matters
not tomorrow and not today
you wash your hands
***** them up
and dry 'em on my spine
then you raise your belt
your stomach full
your brain dead
all around people are stopping glass from breaking
but your gaze is lost into the future
a future where I don't exist
and my figure is but a vague image
lost in the mass grave of shadows
you've met and forgotten
while I took on more
And more
And more scars on my back
from carrying all of your weight
but you don't see
You are at peace
no better place for you
than someone else taking the fall

I have never been capable of being angry at you and I never thought I would. But you've taught me to expect the unexpected.

#betrayal #selfhate #love #relationships #unrequitedlove #hate #hurt #selfless #carpediem

stillhuman Oct 2021

Dream in the dark

Everything was dark
in our house
but our home was safe and sound
and we were laughing
like Gods had nothing on us
and life was fulfilling for us
and the night would go on
for hours on end
without us felling tired
and our wishes had been granted

#family #home #dreams #darkness #night #nightmares #complicity #relatioships

stillhuman Sep 2021

Divination

I drink it all
like a thirsty creature
from the scarred hands
of my God
loving
nurturing

Tell me all your stories
I drink them all up

#love #gods #divination #fascination #unrequitef #relationship #stories #past #thirst #admiration

stillhuman Sep 2021

Static

I lay
dormient
as the colours of the world
spin around
me

This state of mind is poison that you ingest on your own

#mentality #mentalhealth #static #world #colorful #colors #missingout #stuck #struggles

stillhuman Aug 2021

Status: Strangers

You tell me
you're strong
And I can see it
in your eyes
The way your stories lay
right behind
It's much easier
to trust a stranger
than your own kind
and tell them everything
that's been on your mind
Status : strangers
Relationship : high

Relationship: high
Humans truly are a wonder, this is inspired by a real conversation I had with a stranger today. I loved listening to them, they had so much to say, it got emotional
And we parted with smiles on our faces and felt connected
Beautiful, isn't it?

#strangers #relationships #conversation #confession #emotional #humans #reality #connection

stillhuman Aug 2021

Off-kilter

I lose my smell
when I try to fit my words
in a conversation
and I try to fit myself
in someone's life
and my body
in someone's space
I find that I lose my reflection
It looks back at me
lost
blurry eyes are dull
and unresponsive

A vanishing phantom of those I tried to be

#identity #struggles #self #selfworth #selfawareness #people #scent #essence #theaftermathofafestival #inspo