I’m not alright
Maybe it’s just tonight
The way my head is spinning
But I can’t help but know
That a part of me is missing

I’m not alright
And it’s not tonight
I can’t stand to admit I’m scared
To hold you in my arms again
Because you might slip away while
I sleep with my dæmons

I’m not alright
But only for a few more nights
Because I’ll finally see you
And you’ll be coming to see me,
Rather than talk me off a ledge

I’m not alright,
But only because I miss you again
And I know I love you again.

I’m not alright,
But I know you miss me again,
And I know you love me again.
So maybe I’m alright
And I just feel suddenly alone

I found it.

My feeling for you.

For the silent calm of the snowstorm.

For the explosive silence of the thickets.

"Only know you love her when you let her go"

How about, "once your friend dates someone you thought you didn't like anymore and suddenly get really ******* jealous, even while you kiss your lover, maybe, just maybe you still like her."

It just doesn't have the same ring to it...

sometimes the things we say
mimic the things we do
i know that I
lie too much and
everything just seems to

wash away when you're around
only when I miss you does
nothing makes sense
to me

you're
over but you're still
underwater

Pleasant catchwords offer.
Religious assertions affirm.
Occasional shouts whisper.
Moral assertions assert.
Idealistic illusions express joy.
Social obligations obligate.
Extraordinary assertions affirm.
Subtle compromises imperil.

Let yourself embrace the fact you will die one day.

There are only two options.

You become nothing,
or you become more than everything.

Afterlife is possible,
but so is emptyness.

So why choose the gloom and drabness
of empty space?








Unless...
Unless you can fill that empty space with ideas, thoughts, impossibly wonderful things. Then shouldn't you pick something where you are who you remember yourself to be?

I forgot something though.
If our memories define us,
and our thoughts make us..

Are we the ones who can destroy ourselves?

There's 52 weeks in a year
that means 104 weeks go into two years
and then 156 in three
and 208 in four
and 260 in five
and 312 in six...

I wrote something for you that's six years long.

I hope to god you can read it

Please.
Never take her away from me,
my heart couldn't take losing her
after holding her close once more.

I know it's a lot to ask,
and it's so selfish of me,
but if something happened to her now...
I don't know what I'd be able to do.

She knows I've flirted with death before,
she understands the call of the void
we've both slid down that thorny *****
emerging with cuts and bruises...
She knows that I'm better now.

I ask for nothing but time with her.
I want the time to memorize her face,
I want time to hold her
even when she doesn't want to hold herself.
I want time to tell her that no matter what happens,
That I love her
That I spend every day thinking about her

And that those things won't change.
Hold her when I'm far away,
comfort her when I'm held up,
keep her safe from all the things I can't,
and most of all...

Please.
Don't take her away.

We all live in our own world, once the lights are out and we sit alone in the dark. Waiting and watching ourselves unfold into angels and demons.

I think the worst part about being alone in my room
Is knowing you'll be waiting for me when I come out

I think the worst part about living behind a door
is knowing you're not knocking because you understand

I think the worst part about sitting by myself
is catching myself looking at the empty seat next to you

I think the worst part about being here without you
is knowing I could ask for your company

I hate looking into your eyes
and smiling
and laughing
and being happy
because I'm worried about messing up again.
And ending up alone.

The funny thing about fire

it that it either

kills itself keeping you warm
or consumes you.

Darkness.
All I remember is that it’s dark outside, and she’s laying next to me saying she loves me.
And that’s all I need.

Light pours though a filtering curtain
All I remember is waking up by her side,
And that’s all I need.

See the thing is
roses had thorns.
so
i did what I do best.
I jumped in,
got cut up,
and burned that rose bush alive.

Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbea­t.Breath.
Pause.
What if...?
Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.H­eartbeat.Breath.
Pause.
What would I...?
Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.He­artbeat.Breath.
How could I...
Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.
I'd be so...
Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.
How long...?
Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Faster.Heartbeat­.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Faster.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Fas-
Wa­it.
Breath.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Heartbeat.Breath.Heartbeat.Heartbe­at.Heartbeat.Breath.
Pause.
What next?



heartbeat.

Someday when we're together again,
those tears won't stream down your face.
There won't be nights where we both wish
the other was by our side.

I know not easy with 800 miles between you and I.
I never expected it to be this hard.
Each day grows longer and longer
and you feel further and further away.

So send me the night to bring me to you,
in our dreams we're together,
and miles
and days
can't steal that from us.

Poem






















Is that enough?

Ｓｏｍｅｔｉｍｅｓ Ｉ ｄｏｎ＇ｔ ｗａｎｔ
ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｗｈａｔ Ｉ ｆｅｅｌ

Ｉｍ ｎｏｔ ａ ｈａｐｐｙ ｐｅｒｓｏｎ
Ｉｍ ｎｏｔ ａ ｇｏｏｄ ｐｅｒｓｏｎ

Ｂｕｔ Ｉ ｆｏｕｎｄ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ
ｔｈａｔ Ｉ ｍａｋｅ ｈａｐｐｙ
Ｉ ｆｏｕｎｄ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ
ｗｈｏ ｓｅｅｓ ｔｈｅ ｇｏｏｄ
ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｂａｄ ｉｎ ｍｅ
ａｎｄ ｓｔｉｌｌ ｌｏｖｅｓ ｍｅ

Ｉ ｊｕｓｔ ｗａｎｔｅｄ ｙｏｕ
ｔｏ ｋｎｏｗ ｔｈａｔ ｔｈａｔ＇ｓ
ｗｈｙ Ｉ ｌｅｆｔ ｙｏｕ
ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ Ｉ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｄｅａｌ
ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｗｅｉｇｈｔ
ｏｆ ｔｈａｔ ｒｅｌａｔｉｏｎｓｈｉｐ ｗｉｔｈ ｙｏｕ
ｔｈｅ ｐｒｅｓｓｕｒｅ
ｗａｓ ｔｏｏ ｍｕｃｈ
ａｎｄ Ｉ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｓｅｅ
ｍｙｓｅｌｆ ｌｉｖｉｎｇ ｗｉｔｈ ｙｏｕ．
Ｉ＇ｄ ｌｏｖｅ ｔｏ ｓａｙ Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ
ｂｕｔ ｔｒｕｔｈ ｂｅ ｔｏｌｄ．．．

ℐ

When I threw away my dreams.
Tossed away;
Discarded.
saved for a rainy day

When I came back home.
Found myself;
Changed.
A new start

The Divorce.
Two houses;
No home.
nothing will change

Glad I'm Almost 20.

Music.
uh....
....
...
..
.
Yeah.
.
..
...
....
uh.....
Music.

But that's the thing.
It's alright to be wrong.

-Light me up?
Light me up!
-LIGHT ME UP TOO!

snick
snick
*TZZZZZ

WOOOOOOOO

(did you like that one?)
the iron makes it all turn
this red-ish orange color,
kinda like the blood running
down our arms as we're running
down the streets
as our fireworks
work their magic above us

Without music, I am nothing.
An emotionless, empty shell,
who expresses emotion,
but doesn't always feel it.

Don't catch me listening to anything sad
cause I'll just push you away.

It's not hard to say you miss someone;
I find myself saying I miss you almost every hour.

The thing I struggle with is telling you when I miss you,
even though I'm holding you in my arms.

It's not that I'm not enjoying the time we have,
believe me, you're the very best thing in my life.

It's just that, for the next couple years, I know;
Each reunion only begins another parting,

and parting with you Love?
Breaks my heart every time.

I * you
I * you
I * you
I * you
I * you
I * you
I'm * with you
I * you
All my thoughts turn to you, don't they?

Something
A whole lot more than nothing
Makes me want you.
Under me, over me
Anything make me happy

I’ll take you in the shower,
And of course I’ll clean you too,
Because that’s just fair.

I think when you told me
About how much you loved
***
And everything that goes with it

Let’s just say
It keeps my thoughts
On you;

Wow.
Six years sure sprints by.
But we know that now.
We were stupid.
Well. I was stupid, you were foolish
to trust in my heart
when you know I think with my mind.
Oops.

I fly on borrowed wings
I stole from an angel
But now you call me yours
your guardian angel


I'm not sure what to think about that
because I thought you were mine
my beautiful angel
someone who cares

so which is true then love?
Are you my guardian
or am I yours?

I guess we'll see who gets hurt this time
won't we?

We haven't met yet
but some nights I can't sleep without
wishing for your embrace
gentle hands on my body
easing my aches softly

I'll here your whisper
when I'm on the brink of waking
and my heart will race
thinking you're next to me
waiting for those precious moments
where it's only us.

I miss you
I don't talk to you anymore death
I've stopped cutting
I stopped looking for an out
But I can't stop missing you

I think I love the hurt that comes with
Long-Distance
or
Rushing relationships
or
Losing friends
or
breaking hearts
or
thinking about you.

I love you,
My one and only.

I give you my heart,
in all its broken-ish glory.
Do with it what you will
(please be gentle)
but know it's yours for as long
as I can give it to somebody.

But I know that I'll say stupid stuff.
All too often.
And I know that love is work.
And that I didn't.
But I need you to know,
I have a broken heart too, love.
And maybe that's what we need.

Just two broken hearts and some time together.

When the wind blows, the willow bends, and that is life.
When the fire burns, the willow chars, and that is death.
When the rain falls, the willow heals, and that is life.
When lightning strikes, the willow sacrifices, and that is death.

When I think about you... Nothing makes sense.

The wind calms; the willow still bends.
The fire ends; the willow still whole
The rain passes; the willow still dry
The lightning halts; the willow still shakes

See, my world makes more sense without you
but it's so much better with you.

But is it enough?

What happens
when I'm not
worthy of this love
we share?

Does that spell
doom and
disarray for our
duo?

Or does it
only mean I've
overlooked all the
obvious things?

Waiting *****
...
...
...
...
Especially when
...
...
...
....
you know
...
...
...
...
exactly what you're
...
...
A̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅p̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅g̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅-̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅d̲̲­̷̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅p̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅p̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅I̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅g̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅b̲̲­̷̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅T̷̲̲̲̿̅H̷̲̲̲̿̅E̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅k̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅p̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅d̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅j̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅v̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅m̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅f̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅i̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅n̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅b̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅j̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅s̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅x̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅c̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅l̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅w̷̲̲̲̿̅h̷̲̲̲̿̅a̷̲̲̲̿̅t̷̲̲̲̿̅ ̷̲̲̲̿̅y̷̲̲̲̿̅o̷̲̲̲̿̅u̷̲̲̲̿̅'̷̲̲̲̿̅r̷̲̲̲̿̅e̷̲̲̲̿̅
Expecting

Sometimes;
When it’s late like this,
I’ll sit and think about where I’ve gone.

I’ll remember those nights spent in your arms,
comfortable, safe, and loved.
I miss those nights the most.

Then I’m finding myself remembering
Those nights where I woke up,
A memory beside me,
Ever silent, ever distant.

There’s only one night that haunts me.
February 14th, my kisses with death.

I wish I could take it all back.
Come home tonight, and see you.

It’s not much to say I love you in a poem,
But it’ll all I have until the dawn.

I can see a world tainted by my blood
crimson or black depending on
where you stand
or how you see it

Ripping open old wounds hurts more
brings back memories
makes me awake
makes me bleed

its funny how blood can be running from your arm in a fountain of pain and yet people won't say a word because they don't know what to say
its funny that even though my arm hurts, i keeping picking at it to remind myself what it felt like 2 seconds ago

why do people seem to think
because they do Seem to think

because my arms bleed
i want attention
because my arms bleed
i don't want to share
because my arms bleed
i can't be happy
...

Nothing really hurts anymore.
Except for my crimson tears.

I'm glad you're happy.
I hope you do well without me.
I don't miss you.

I never spend a night thinking about how I hurt you beyond measure, and I honestly don't always hate myself when I think about the man I've become.

All fragile lies.

I'm restless.
There's only 25 days until I see you again.
That's 600 hours I'll spend thinking about you,
and ~250 hours you'll be in my dreams
but it'll still feel like an eternity.

I found it hard to eat today,
I'm not sure why, time just...
Slipped away;
like it does when I'm in your arms.

I'm not always the best with keeping my promises.
I'd go as far to say that I'm pretty dumb,
at least when it comes down to handling my feelings.
But I've always been able to put a pen to a page and write them out.
So I guess I'm here to do that again.

I wish I could tell you I'm not scared.
I wish I could tell you I'm not jealous.
I wish that I could hold you every night.
I know that it means nothing.
I'm scared that it could turn into something when I'm away.
I know you Love me.
I Know I Love you.
I just get scared because I'm afra-404
I just get scared because it's happened before,
I look into the mirror and can't understand why I'm like this.

Today I said the words you gave me about 100 times today.
They still haven't worked.
But I'll keep saying them,
because maybe then you'll believe me when I say:
I think you're beautiful.
You look stunning.
I love the sound of your laugh.
I think you're an amazing singer.

What happens to us
when we forget why we've
become who we are?

I wish I could make up my mind about why I'm here.
Hell, why anyone is here.

Some days;
i'll find myself
wishing
waiting
and finding myself feeling the same as normal.
Just odd.

Did I do something wrong?
Say something?
Say nothing?

{She’s replaced you}
[You weren’t hers in the first place]

Did I miss something she said?
Miss my chance at something new?
I miss the feeling of feeling sometimes.

Listen, I know you’ll never see this
But I’m sorry for whatever I did
And even if it was nothing
I still would’ve lied having lunch with you
Just so you know

It's
the little
things. The smiles,
the hugs, the love.

1 thing I can't live without is your embrace.
Too far apart; and yet we're closer than anyone I've met.
3 words can't really express my feelings well,
forget what people say, I'm happy with you...

I love you,
I miss you.
I'll be home soon.
I promise.

I told myself  I should take some time to figure myself out

What I don’t really understand is that I thought that meant without you

Why the hell am I still alive?
If you had to ask me?
I'd say I'm not suicidal.
I just think most would be better without me
I'm sad.
I just guess that I'm around because I can't leave yet.
I promised you.
I'm clean, haven't cut for months.
I'm sad.
I feel lonely.
I'm sad.
Can't cry
I'm sad, and I miss you.
Can't cry
I've got dreams to chase.
Can't cry
I wish I could hold you;
so my world could slow
because I feel like it's spinning out of control.

Take a moment, and relax your shoulders.
Now take a slow breath.

You've made it this far.
I don't know what might be happening
with your busy life;
but you made it this far.

That means something, friend.
The past may shape us but the
Present; is exactly that.

Now make sure your shoulders are still relaxed.

You and I
can't stop this
stupid attack upon
each other's poems
like a frostbitten
tongue lashing out
foolishly to the
cold.

You and I
can't leave the
past to be
the past because
then your burnt
lips would heal
and neither of
us like healing
because healing means
forgetting.

You and I
can't keep this
thing we have
going because when
I write about
the things I
did and do
I just can't
bring myself to
care about you
again because I'm
an inferno
and a simple
******* storm
be it rain
be it snow
be it love

Isn't going to
put out the inferno

But thanks for trying.