No longer is an article a joy
Each bit elicits crisis
Each piece closer to the end
I now understand
But disrespect
Those in the dark
They do not know yet

How do you sleep at night?
Are the blankets pulled too tight?
Is the room ever just too bright,
or do you find it fits just right?

And how do you get through the day?
When there’s so much you never say?
When the colours bleed to grey,
or do you like it just that way?

I’ve been playing scrabble with each thought,
cursed to babble ‘cause I was never taught
to speak out loud what plagues my heart
It’s not like I’m proud that it ends before I start.

How do you sleep at night?
Does your mind put up a fight?
Do you loathe every ray of light,
or is it out of mind and out of sight?

And how do you get through the day?
Tornado’s in your wake and at bay.
Casting me to the abyss to stay,
as long as you choose that way.

I’ve been playing scrabble with each thought,
known to dabble in whatever I got.
Doing things so foul I would never do,
to buy a vowel and then another two.

How do you sleep at night?
I put up such a gallant fight.
Bleeding knuckles, holding on with all my might.
You’re asleep and I’m greeting first light.

A tree grown off the seed,
everyone can see
and sees the seed
when none see the tree.

The seed, a dead end,
no pattern to see.
Punting in a zero pool,
what then comes to be.
The one is now the honey
spring for every bee!

Dividing zero
By any number will still
Leave you with zero.

If you have no love
To begin with, nothing can
Force it to appear.

Dividing zero
By any number will still
Leave you with zero.

My flesh crawls, and my blood flows
As I attempt to turn to marble
True stasis
Homeostasis
Oh to maintain beauty to be gawked by muses
And to never have been alive, merely beings of retired faith
But unsurprisingly, just as pointless
I sigh…
I may parish in mind and finally body
But marble will diminish slowly
******
All while watched and attemptedly preserved
I breathe.
Homeostasis

The equation of the hopes and dreams of a thing that does not exist.


In a galaxy of stars, I am less than nothing.
In a land of billions I am an infinite fraction.
Sat in a bar, I am not even worth mentioning.
No passing glance, no chance of romance,
Never even a pleasant distraction.


Surrounded by people, I am nobodies equal,
Less is more than I can be; I am divisible by zero.
In a strong man contest, I am worse than feeble.
Neither good enough, or evil.


I am a mirage waiting for the sun to shine.
I am buried beneath a zillion grains of sand.
Never to be discovered,
Never looked for.
Never needed;
Not a man.


I do not even register on the scales of time;
Nobody has realised.
I do not really exist…
Empty, worthless, empty, worthless, empty, worthless…


Just air without ingredients;
No oxygen, no chemical reaction.
I never made a dent in the system.
No crater left, nothing remains;
I never affected anybody’s brain.
Zero, zero, zero
Remains…


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

girl like: can recite digits of pi up to number 25. got a mouth full of razors but will find a way to speak around them so she can spit out the answers to last night’s math problems. girl like: walking around with one million useless facts that will never save her life and one million useless feel-good quotes about yoga which won’t save her life neither, girl like: need her on our classroom jeopardy team but don't need her for much else unless we need somebody to stand in the middle of the room and just scream
girl like: you kissed her on a night where she got drunk for the first time and you were the whole bottle of fireball but nobody pulled her away from you because when girl like this parties, people think it’s funny that she has no sense of danger
girl like: walking on glass, girl like balancing act, girl like “it’s easy if you understand weight distribution,” girl handling a crime scene easy because the one in her left temple is sort of sloshing around and spreading past the edges and one of these days she’s gonna have to deal with it in some other way rather than “the angle of the bloodspatter shows the angle of the assault” rather than “i’m fine i’m just tired” rather than “sure i’ll help you study for the final” rather than being in the backseat of her mother’s minivan and silently weeping without anyone seeing and for reasons she can’t quite put a finger on 
girl like: she apologizes because this area her body is a building in renovation so the appearance is unsightly and truth be told she has no idea if she’s going to tear it down or build it up but the mystery is sort of exciting isn’t it - and you’re trying to scrape her off the ground with your eyebrows in that little knot people get when they’re upset but don’t know really how to fix it and she keeps running and she says: listen, the specific heat of wood is pretty high, you know. her feet are burning, nevermind her soul
girl like: science is amazing isn’t it don’t you know objects in motion tend to keep speeding towards a brick wall and i’ve shot myself out of the barrel of a gun wanna see the angle of the bloodspatter wanna walk across the coals wanna stick your fingers in the glass of my brain wanna turn up the music so nobody hears the stitches coming undone darling i’m sorry i’m not savable we’ve tried everything darling i’m sorry i come off like i’ve got everything in between my fingers but darling being up-to-date on my homework doesn’t make me strong being good at hiding it doesn’t make me the voice of success being able to laugh when my brain is a mess just makes me sad it doesn’t make me a hero
girl like: my favorite digit of pi happens to be zero.