Fighting a losing battle... sanity and serenity..
The mirror holds my one true enemy, is it me..that drives you away
The same me who begs you to stay..
Like a pair of scissors being pushed and pulled at the same time..my chest and wrist bleed from the same line...
Because..my..heart..is..on..my sleeve...
Words uttered in darkness cause the most pain..
Because when you're vulnerable they never hit you the same..
Every vowel that makes up the sounds used to pronounce nouns, hit like 44 caliber rounds...aimed for the heart
So as we lay engulfed in dark, listen...I Love You.

When I found you,
I thought I found someone who would save me from drowning
When really I just found someone who would sink with me.
You tasted so sweet the first time we kissed.
But your taste was confused with sweetness of bottles of liquor that had already stained my lips.

I promised you pieces of an unfinished heart.
I didn't let my heart grow
I didn't let it reach its full potential.
I didn't know that once it bloomed it wouldn't want you anymore.

I didn't realize my soul was intwining with another even as I
Told you sweet nothings to get through the night.

But that's what all my words became to you.
Nothing.  
They were empty.
They did not belong to you anymore.
My I love yous had always been meant for someone else.
I didn't mean to give you what was not yours.
I didn't mean to take your heart too.
I didn't mean to be greedy.
I didn't mean to throw you away.

But what I found
What I was always meant to find
Is like fresh air after breathing in a life time of toxins.
She is the antidote to the venom in my thoughts.
She is the first rain on the barren waste land of my soul.
She is Mother Earth to the dirt of my body
Creating flowers with her touch on every inch of my skin.

I didn't mean to find you first.
I didn't mean to lie.
But if finding her meant to poison your life once again
I would do it in a heart beat.

You're falling in love
just out of high school
visualising pedestrians full of life
of memories
in your local grocery store's small-town parking lot
dreary day and grey sky
only because he left you empty
in this lonely world
too petite for two people
whose souls have always been too large for this type of crowd
manifested by people always staring
when we burst with color
at the flick of our fingers on cheeks
or warming cold hands
and when you stopped cramming into this space
when you stopped trying to fit
you made it your destiny to absorb
to fill rather than to squeeze
finding solace in places most unusual
because every ******* thing
still reminds me of you
even when the clouds don't want me to see
the sun fights for it's moment of fame
screaming
"Please see his face one last time,"
and I do
I obey
leaving me worse off
but better than I was before
because you can cut the string around my index finger
with your knee quivering smile
but I'll remember
I'll still keep your promise safe in my palm
in the center of my lungs
and I don't care if you trash it
as long as you keep mine.

I compare my love for you to my driving.

Reckless.
Youthful.
Shouldn't be allowed.
Dangerous.

Yet I need it to get to where I want to go.

Everyone drives.
The ones who don't are content with that alone.

I shouldn't be allowed to.

I put my foot to the gas.
Trying to reach you.
Terryfying and exhilarating all at the same time.
But I'm all in.

Stop.

Abrupt.
Shock.
Fear.
Sorrow.

And it might just still be allowed.

i know now that you're long gone
from the tight grasp we once held each other in

we were kids. i get that.
young and naive, gullible as to what our friends say.
with a distorted image of love
because of the movies we see on the screen

the first time we whispered our i  love  yous
it was awkward until our giggles filled up the air
and that's when i knew i spoke the truth

when you left me alone, you never said good bye
you were literally just gone
you left my heart in a distinct contortion
and that's when i felt such desperation

To the first boy I've ever loved,
When you come across this poem,
Don't hesitate, you know **** well that it's about you.
Cause the only thing you've taught me is
Forever isn't true.

I've never felt this,
It feels like true bliss.
My heart changes its beat,
dub-lub, lub-dub, dub-lub.
Every time you make a glance,
I grow cold, almost still in my stance.
That smile,
I bet you I could see it for a hundred miles.
I yearn for the warmth of your embrace.
dub-lub, lub-dub, dub-lub.
I've never wanted someone so desperately,
You make me feel like a kid.
Do you see what you did?
I wonder how it would be,
If you were here with me.
dub-lub, lub-dub, dub-lub.
I imagine us jamming to the station,
It's obvious which one is your favorite; the rock nation.
You with your hand on my leg,
I can feel my heart racing once again.
dub-lub, lub-dub, dub-lub.
Please forgive me,
But I think I'm falling head over heels.
Maybe because you make me feel at ease,
Maybe because the way you make me feel is natural like the summer breeze.
*dub-lub, lub-dub, dub-lub.

I hate this inbetween taste you left in my teeth.