For you have your mother's eyes, dear child
And my heart sinks lower every time I look
Because you are a reminder of what I've failed to do
A reminder that I was a coward
And when I gathered my courage it was too late
Your mother died knowing I was only bad
She died before ever hearing my goodbye
She died before ever knowing what's in my heart
And that night, she brought all goodness in me to die along
And left my broken heart shattered to pieces, beyond repair

I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.

I've done some pretty terrible things in my life
I've been cruel
Some might even say evil

I've pulled people apart and spit on their insides
Looked them in the eyes and burned their corneas to a crisp
I've tasted the blood of a few dozen hearts, accumulating a taste for pain

I'm selfish
And I do things without thinking
The world is always crashing into me, knocking me off of my feet
And I should be saying "thank you"
because I exhaust myself too often if I'm not put in my place

My heart was once fleshy and pink,
but the color and softness have been stripped from me
And now, in its place, are some old, rusted bits of scrap metal and cactus spines

The stories people read within my eyes are not fairy tales, but often, they're lies
And the truth gets shuffled away with my smile
Under some dirt and fallen leaves in a pile