I am going to be stronger and wiser to myself this time.
You weren't there in my hardest time,
And you left me at a time when I too needed somebody the most,
I guess that somebody just wasn't you.
So hear me out while I scream it to your face
while you call me selfish and inhuman,
You weren't there when I needed you the most.
Now I am not obliged to get back to square one
and loose myself again in the process to be good to you,
because I am. too busy being good to myself

he takes another drink from the brown bottle
his eyes inflamed and angry
broken yellowed teeth and cigarette butts
an angry man
stained  t-shirts
Lingering nicotine
a hopeless man
he's hurt again
the war broke him
gunshots still echo
Dust so thick you cannot see
the divorce broke him
A shell of a man
A wild man
but I can see him
in the cracks on his porcelain skin
The alcohol no longer seems to be running from his mouth
Convulsions have stopped
I can see his light
being born again
sobriety

See I wanted to write about you and everything that I silently picked up on up
if you're wondering what I picked up on
Body language and cues
The way you tensed up when you were about to hear bad news
your anxiety
how it at times it came crashing down and you didn't know what to do
I reassured you the best way I could  
when you're concentrating or deep in thought about something
( I knew not to disturb you )
opening up to anyone was a task in itself
you hated doing that / I understood
The way you like to sing off key you think you sounded horrible singing wise
I disagreed
Personally, to me, I thought you sounded good
you told me a lot of info about yourself gradually over the months we got to know each other
I told you a lot of things as well
but one thing is for sure I picked up on several things you weren't aware of and I'd never tell you this
but you're easy to read just like a book
if you're annoyed, angry or upset
you might think oh no one cared or  noticed
I noticed
as it was written all over your face meaning you had the most readable ****** expressions
if you're wondering how I knew about your moods
it's simple really I could tell in the tone of your voice
if you were about to cry you had a certain tone of voice that suggested quivering in I'm about break down and cry tone of voice or how you were upset you had a certain way of behaving that let me know either to give you space or to comfort you
if you were mad ( depending on what the issue was / who the individual was and how long ago it was in addition to the details determined everything )
how you'd need space or you felt upset / still brought up the issue no matter how long ago said everything
and how could I forget your favorite songs the way you hummed them
favorite food and snacks
I still remember the details that you told me
the way we both know I'm fine or I'm okay
is a complete lie when either one of us
is upset mostly you though
when you're upset or down it's like I can sense that your energy is off / vibes are off some way or another
but one thing about our friendship is how we told each other several things
and because of that I still remember how you react
favorite snacks
your dreams and what your plans for the future were
how you handled relationships

There’s an emptiness
That lies between
The lines
Of my lies
You know that famous
“You ok?”
And i lie and say
“I’m fine”
I’m forcing myself
To live without love
But I can see
Myself fading
From the lack there of
I’m fine
‘Nah I’m not depressed
Nah I’m not crying every night
Nah I don’t need the support
From friends to fuel my light
Nah I don’t need prayers
Or a man to hold my hand’
As I lie some more
I die some more
Watching my own ****
Hit the fan
I’m fine
I don’t drown my liver
In alcoholic narcolepsy
I don’t pray for
Death to
Come and set me free
I don’t question God
On why I’m here
I’m as chipper as can be’
I’m fine
....
I am fine

- Prima Poetess

Two words
Off-guard
The same
meaning
With simplicity,
you move on
Love- hard
To live on
_ like
Two lovers ** combined
with gravity
What do we address
to people that
words appear
The same tear
Familiar place fear
Her address you hear
What is next to bear
It reminds me of twins
you got them bare
pinned offspring
the ((Spring Robin))
Two different eggs

(( Organic fresh/Rotten))
Robin Robin
Bo Hip-hop in or Baby baby
Janice Joplin sing sing_
You row gently
down the hill her name
Gave you the chill
But meets together
  the same
New singer machine
threads become

Hooked the bobbin.
Oh! Brother?
D-Danger DNA
The same address
His last name
Mr.Robbin's
Mrs. Jones got a thing
going on
Embarrassed he
pops out_
Still life kids
firey-fly lids
Sparkle out
I have two words
((THE SAME))

Why do we say
the wrong things?
No opinion
U-R forced
same boring
clothes
Address from I-Phones
Medieval Castles The
husband or Wife
I am waiting for _
He'll be coming around
Her mountain
Japan Fuji apple hike

Blew/Blue_ remain
Ate/Eight_ sides moon pain
Nose/Knows_ windows splash rain

The bird Crane  Mailbox Lois Lane
Superman  no address flies her flame
The crane to lift her poem words

Love falls Canadian waterfalls
How her hair falls
the tree twins
Go timber__
Shapes/Escapes
The type small, medium

The lodge curves large
INN/  She's In
Or he's not
your type
When you point
it's not cool and polite
The pencil point
She is skinny
as a pencil date

Mom fruits and dates
Grate/Great
Her candle
Burned her address
The next townhouse
Was exactly the same
In everyone's
Genes/Jeans
Song Billy Jean
Writing is in all
of our genes
I'm the Robin
that
flew with
your tweet of words

Hearts are broken
            with crumbled regret.

Words are neglected
             without our thoughts.

Were discarded, and our feelings crumpled.

If in order to exist, it must be written
then at dawn when I wake, I'll reach for my pen.

I'll write of light, sunrises, love, and beauty.
My pages will overflow with all things good.
I'll write of adventure & kindness, of laughter & healing.
My steps will scream confidence, though I've stumbled each time I stood.

If in order to exist, it must be written
then I will never ceases writing, until I reach the end.