Hear me scream
The walls listen with curious ears
One by one, my thoughts flow into the stream
For years that stream has killed me with fears

Overcrowded, the thoughts clash together, like waves
Roars, deafen the ears, as the thoughts seem to find speakers
They foresee the days where the only thing to do is to dig the graves
They become such harsh beaters

Creeping into my eyes, burning memories make themselves known
Tearing me apart, muscle by muscle, sense by sense
Raise a shaky hand to my face, touch bone
Feel the stream verge on hurricane, every muscle tense

One single tear falls from the hollow bone where eyes once resided
A flurry of thoughts, burning memories, rush to the surface
Scream out in terror as my body, and mind divided
Feelings ripple, and washes away my only purpose

I am worthless

Nary an original thought possesses me,

maybe I should become mute?

But then how would I boast about my obnoxious self perceived importance?

Oft have I paused to think upon faith and what makes it strong.
The faith to be wise and to know right from wrong.
No not the faith that gives rise for Gods to be born.
But the strength and belief to fight when I am most torn.
I speak of the faith to believe of who I might be.
The faith to know with conviction its enough to be me.
A faith to be sure and a faith with no doubt.
No mumbles in meekness but a voice raised in shout.
So long since my faith was so raised up on high.
So little belief now that there is nought else but to cry.
What can be done to restore faith that is now lost.
With each thought and contemplation at additional cost.
So low now on faith... did I ever really believe?
Perhaps all along... not faith... but only... self deceive?
How can I live a life where all belief of self has faded away.
To what point, without my own faith, to greet the next day.

Break up with your girlfriend,
Shatter her heart in two.
Make her cry every night,
Make her hurt over you.

Leave her today,
Tonight, or the ‘morrow.
Abandon her and leave her laden in sorrow

Make her drown in her tears,
Make her shake with her cries,
Break her, break her,
Break her down with your lies.

Come back to me,
I can love you forever.
Come back to me,
And we’ll be together.

One kiss,
One kiss,
Is all I ask.

To honor the present and remember the past.

One kiss will do no harm,
Where’s the shame in that?
Kiss me once and maybe the memories will flood back.

Break up with your girlfriend,
Leave her for me.
Make her feel so worthless,
All while we feel so free.

You know you want to.
Don’t deny yourself this.
Break up with your girlfriend,
Break her with one kiss.

Make her never forget.
Make her never lose sight.
That love is sadistic,
And so are we, right?

"You're just a kid
you shouldn't worry about these things
she shouldn't have depended on you in that way
stop trying to fix everything
Because you're too young to be allowed
to feel the weight on your shoulders
You're just
a
kid."

~~~~

I always felt older somehow,
always felt heavy and sad since the day
I was born.
The other kids ignored me
and when they didn't
they taunted me
They called me names
'Dog'
'Lesbian'
'******'
I learned to ignore it
and focus on others
to stand up
and let them cry on me
I learned to understand
before fight
and to wait
before love
I've learned that emotions
can be painful
like a sea urchin stuck
to your torso
I watched pain drip from a cut
I watched the red flood the marble sink
and I watched it all go down the drain
washed away by the purity of water
And those voices
I know that everyone has them now
and they told me to cry it out
instead of biting my lip and smiling
I see pain hidden in everyone around me
But I know it's not my business to soothe them
Nor do I know how
The pain they feel is no longer mine
I think
I think
I'm my own person again.

~~~~~

But I'm just a kid
So I can't comfort you
until I'm older.

I love the way I can hate
Your screaming
Your blaming
and all your misery.
You blame me for spreading in.
And then you hate me
for what you put me through!

And all your disbelief
that you comfort me with,
all your hatred
all your lying,
the way you played with me
I miss the way I can hate!

Cause I know its you, not me!
You turned my simplest taste
into a worthless meaning.
The way you were holding me
Your tainted caress
struck the void in me!

Where the **** are you?
I hope you're satisfied.
You're nowhere to be found.
I'm not missing you
I just miss the way I hate you!

I just want
you to know
that you are
not worthless,
everyone has a
purpose in life,
no matter who you are.

I hope you never feel alone knowing how I feel
I hope you never go to sleep feeling unwanted when I forget to say goodnight
I hope you smile when my name comes across the screen of your iPhone

But then again, of course you wouldn't feel alone, because I am not the one
And then again, you could never go to sleep feeling that way because she already said goodnight
And of course you are probably flipping your phone over on the table when it says "Maybe: Angela"