I feel like I’m at the rock bottom of my life, feeling so worthless and all i do is blaming myself. I feel like I’m insane to hold the pang in my chest, the pressure of this world madness. Drowning in the deep of miserably and despair. Everything seems not in the line, so overwhelmed , and the hatred towards me has been growth. I don’t even know who i am, or where i am.
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- it terrifies me, that i'm getting lost and neither can save me.

There are too many days..... I cant do this many days. Too many days where darkness wins. Fate laughs endlessly. I am Fate's comedic performer and he laughs without end. Like a donkey behind a carrot I am led and with the rasp of a donkey's bray Fate's laughter rings in my ears.
I don't think I can do this. Where joy is substituted by despair and happiness succumbs to death.... and the symphony of laughter is the tune. The strings on this puppet are frayed and worn but the puppeteer is relentless. How do you fix the strings of a puppet in motion? Who will catch the puppet if he falls? I can hear no answers above the laughter that rings in my ears and so this puppet on tattered strings dances on to the tune that Fate maintains. How long is a piece of string? It matters not if the string can carry no weight.

I'm tired of the pain.
I'm tired of the name calling because I'm different.
I'm tired of feeling worthless like I don't matter.
I'm tired of people telling me it gets better.
I'm tired of trusting people than they stab me in the back.
I'm tired of living.
I'm tired of everyone yelling at me.
I'm not perfect I'm sorry but I thought I would still be loved.
I'm tired of you telling me I'm alright.
You don't know what I'm going through so stop judging me.

Concessions since made
As hearts coincide
A flash in the eyes
And it'll end fine

You're not in the wrong
Not sure If I am
But it's never much
We rise with the tides

Everything moves in chaotic motion
The more things stay the same
Sometimes I try
But I never find the right words to say
If we don't see the light tomorrow
If you don't come out the same
I hope you recover
And keep your will to change

I always feel your words glow
If I'm asleep or not, I don't want to know
In losing, I only hope that it starts to show
This structural integrity

I'm still awake
I'm scared to die
Scared of all the little deaths
That come with change
Am I in the wrong?
It was just a mistake
Like everyone makes
Or so they say

Do you ever just keep doing
And doing
And going
And giving
Suddenly you are ****** ******* dry
And you are empty
And you are loneliness
And you cannot give another drop

Why does no one ask why?
OR notice?
That you are nothing but
An empty shell
Or nothingness

But you must keep going
Leaving the light on at night
Just to numb the loneliness
Because you feel
Worthless
Unloved
And
Unappreciated

If I were my own friend -
I’d hug her
And tell her
Love, you deserve
Happiness

But
I am stuck in this body
With this girl
Who only feels
Worthless

All your fears come true,
  you were just there in lieu.
A body to warm his bed,
  a soundboard to ease his head.
You always were a placeholder,
  again forced to grow colder.
Soon there will be nothing there,
  no words or love to show you care

We're a  memory in a jar
              never getting full.

But those who think it
         is empty and worthless,

do not understand thought.

For it is fluid,
                and all liquid
             eventually  evaporates.


Causing a storm to rain
          down on us.

Refreshing what nearly ran dry..