Realize your worth without short-changing those around you.

©

Love me like I love you,
Love me like you should (like I should).

Know me like I do you,
Know me like you should.

Care for me...love (like I do you).

Change & grow your wings with me till the ends of time.

I'll be there to help you Grow to the beautiful angle you are.

Like the current moves the ocean, steady and calm. Beautifully yet powerful.
I'll guide you till you need me no more.

I'll be there for you,
I'll guide you,
I'll love you.

A story to myself (From myself)

Elegy, elegy, elegy
The words pop out at me, framed by the strokes of...expressionism was it?
Honestly, I don’t know
The minimal art history I was exposed to
Has gone, been erased leaving me the white board
To scrawl something else hastily before-

I wonder why I read it,
Is it perhaps to affirm to myself
That I’m worth something?

No, that can’t be right
I do of course love myself, I have healthy amount of self love
I suppose then, it’s confidence at stake here
...maybe?

That whether I manage to memorize all the terms
Whether I can keep my hands from straying to another tab
That whether I can kick away the ball that is distractions and addictions and every self created villain in my fairytale

Determines who
I am and how
Much I’m worth

Is false

Because

I

Love me I do
I really do

But,
I still have to get out of this rut
I still have to do better
Then, maybe
One day I’ll

Never let a mistaken step,

  let you think that everything
is a fallen hope.

        For only one step
                shows us
that even one can faulter us.  


        The many hands

can pick us up.


But we are always stronger when


       a singular hand is holding us.


But when we have the hand prints

of others,
we will always lift up stronger.

i am so unbelievably terrified
of letting down the ones i love
that i cannot let them love me

i am a self centered
narcissistic
overweight
stupid
ugly
annoying
rude
*****.

but i can’t do anything about it
and if i try
i cry
and if i try
i die
because i know it is not me
and it’s not who i am

but when i don’t try
i make others feel worse
i tell them i’m okay
but this life is a hearse
and i’m stuck in it
my body is dead but my mind is alive
and i’m banging on the walls
but i’m too weak to break through
these emotions push and pull me in every direction

the coffin in the hearse that contains my body
is traveling over a bridge
unfortunately
the driver of the hearse went unconscious
and i cannot do anything
because if i try
i die

i won’t be alive for much longer
because of my attempt to be stronger
but the weights are tied to my feet
and this ship is ready to sink
and i am not ready to go over board
but as i plummet
head first
into the ice cold water
i look back on those who threw me in
those who wished to **** me
and smile
yes, i died.
my body was not contained though.
i died.
but, my body was not in the hearse
this is not meant to make things worse
i did die, that’s not a lie
but just let me try
to let this get by
my body was not in the hearse
it was not left to sit there forever
my vessel will sink, but my ship will sail
as soon as this is over
i won’t be in jail
i won’t be stuck in a cell
my life is a living hell
but if you don’t wish me well
if you step on me
and rip me apart
it will give me a start
to help you hurt me
to help me help you
because i don’t care about me
i am not important
but if i affect you
in any negative way
that is me
hurting myself
locking myself
in the coffin
in the hearse
with the unconscious driver
now at the bottom of the ocean
locked up
in the cell of its own misery
please don’t help me get by
it will make me feel guilty
but if you just stay with me
and pretend like my head is empty
that is okay
because you won’t be worried
and i will have no hurry
to leave the side
of those in my mind
one day for me
my mind will touch the sky
and my death will make me alive