Misunderstanding.
Something that you can't undo.
The biggest mistake.

when the sun
kisses the sea orange,
my father comes home with sawdust
caked underneath his nails.
i remember how my mother
brushes them clean
until the water becomes yellowish,
like the sun.
That night, we will tuck ourselves in.
But i'll still be left at dusks.
wishing for that very same one,
where their worries would recede,
like the orange.
Where they will not have to think
about tomorrow
too much.

Just don't think about those people
Who have left you with no choice
But to think the reason of your aloneness.

Just don't hover around,
Those,
Making you feel unworthy,
Shut their door,
And don't worry dear,
It isn't ego,
It's self-respect,
Self-help,
Self esteem and
Self-love.

Just don't be with those,
Bragging about their victory,
By belittling your tiny beginnings,
And don't worry dear,
It isn't that you aren't worthy,
But the person is so unworthy
To witness your
Victory by stepping tiny it's.

The wet, luscious emerald grass
dancing joyfully in the wind.
A little girl rejoices.
Her yellow dress shines
in the bright sunlight.

She takes a step,
with her dusky bare foot.
The cold water touched her.
With courage,
she took another step.

Before she knew,
she was running free,
as a wild horse.
Her black hair
softly flying behind.

Eventually, she sat down,
in the middle of a multicolored field.
Looking around at the
awe-inspiring beauty of nature.

Closing her big brown eyes,
she looked up
stretching her arms
as if embracing the sun.

She thought.
"Why can't time stop?"

She laid awake on her bed,
twenty years later
with her big brown eyes,
now filled with worry
still wondering the same question,
"Why can't time stop?"

Even in a situation I had once or twice,
begrudgingly dreamed myself in,
never anticipating the morphing from one state to another,
of contemplation to reality,
I no longer dread.

Even within the month that usually drags me to my knees,
I accomplish the impossible and turn my sight towards the sun,
golden hour still exists and dust still sways in its light.

And yes,
even with all of this,
unrequited circumstance,
my mind and body still dance.

I don’t want fame or riches
I just want those solid fixes
I don’t want that perfect house
I only want a way out
That everyday
Clarity
And certainty
That my thoughts aren’t me

in the world
is thinking about me
right this moment.
I am solely
by myself
with my thoughts.
I'm bored
with everything
I'm clinging on
day by day.
Waiting for something
unknown
uncertain.

space has never been so tempting,
yet so frustrating.
the stars are alluring,
so far from the chaos,
pollution, and bloodshed
of this cursed world.
the cosmos deliver their invitation:
they have a warm welcome waiting,
a hearth to curl up next to,
so to speak.

yet stand 6 feet away from anyone,
it feels like galaxies between.
a sweet embrace has been
foreign for months,
now something to die for,
quite possibly.

is resting far above the worries
of the earth worth leaving
the rosy cheek of humanity?