I knew I wanted to step on the scale
But my mind was screaming "don't"
Because that number only tells you
How much gravity is pushing down on you
Not how much you're worth

I stared at the wall
As my bare feet touched the cold surface
For once, I was strong and didn't want to see
A number that would break down
The very small wall of self esteem
I have been trying so hard to build

I prayed I would see nothing
Higher than a 4
Or else my day would be done for
I looked to the spot between my feet
As though I was looking into a crystal ball

And surprisingly, I liked what I saw

I know it's just a number,
Something made up of ones, twos, and threes.
It isn't a label,
But I feel as if I've lost the stamp of approval.
I'm way up here
But I want to be way down
there.
After all
The less one is
The more he is viewed.
& sometimes it doesn't hurt to be seen.

We* all have weights on our shoulders
                                                       ­ so
Why *discriminate people for their weight?
We all have fats in our body
so why single out and point at that plump person
just to have a good laugh ?
                                                       or
Are you so insecure of yourself?
There are only two types of people in the world;
those who are happy and those who are miserable.
So don't look at our physical weight,
look at our tired shoulders
who have been carrying our emotional weight.

theres a bully in my bathroom.
she resides on my floor-just staring back at me
she just lays there smiling and taunting me
shes great at doing it-for she accomplishes it without words
i never understand why she picks on my but then again she picks on everyone
i can see right thru her
shes that superficial and that basic
her body is just one shape no curves no nothing
but because of her-girls across the nation want to go in hibernation forever.
theres a bully in my bathroom
like i said i can see right thru her
she stands right at our foot height she isnt even tall
our lives revolve around her for shes not just in mine but shes in yours too
she lurks with the doctors and puts on a sweet face
for they think shes a huge help
but shes the biggest bully around
she comes in all colors and shapes.
only stands tall with the doctors
theres a bully in my bathroom
and when i step on her she just weighs me down.
weighs us down
theres a bully in my bathroom
and shes taking over the worlds self esteem
but maybe it isnt her-maybe its societies standards

One moment can hit the core of our soul
Creating ripples, reaching out to unseen shores
Long before we realize, the ripples fade away
Leaving us with the moment which has sunk deep
For its weight we have to carry, memories do not fade
Somewhere in the bottomless pit of our life, it remains
Coastlines have long faded away, as it was only ripples
Which just touched the edge, and kissed it goodbye
Long before we realize, the ripples fade away
Leaving us, with its far-reaching effects

The first boy I ever slept with
All we did was sleep
Even though in the middle of the night
Which I suppose was early in the morning
I woke up
Wanting you as close as possible
And I woke you up
Trying to get closer
And you kissed my lips
And you kissed my neck
And your hands touched my bare hip bones
That I pushed out ever so carefully
So you would think that I was skinnier
And you climbed on top of me
And I wanted you there
But my mind kept screaming
No, stop, this isn't a good idea
So I broke the silence
By just saying
Stop.
And I continued to kiss you as tried to understand
What I wanted to stop
It didn't matter
That I said no to an idea that was never written down
Because you rolled over
And wrapped your arms around me
But I carefully moved your hands
To where I wanted them to be
Because I was afraid
Of being just a body to you
And not a pretty one at that

We come from the same gene pool,
but don't you dare tell me
that we can wear the same jeans,
because you couldn't hold them up.
You wouldn't be able to keep them in place,
to hoist up the weight of the world
that makes them so heavy.
Your size zero waist and thighs
couldn't handle the pressure,
couldn't handle the qualities
of life size pants.
Not 12 size pants.
Life size pants.
My whole life fits into the stretched out fabric,
the too tight button,
the zipper that struggles to crawl up its track.
These pants have seen days where I could slide in
and days where the squeeze was so tight
that I just gave up,
even when giving up shouldn't have been an option.
Holes have been torn,
rips have been stretched,
and yours have been fashioned to look that way.
Do not pretend that we could switch jeans
and be perfectly fine,
because you would be swimming,
and I would be missing.

Pop it in to cure and make me better,
but the side effects could **** me.
Sometimes I wish they would
to get me off this ******* depression.
I want to eat so bad
but food can only enlarge
the stomach I worked so *******.
Is it worth eating?
Or becoming satisfied?
I would rather they love me for my heart
as opposed to my beauty.
Beauty means pain,
and I already have plenty of pain
in my heart.
I don't even know if it's worth dealing with.
**** this place.

The weight was too much:
I despaired until I saw
I was meant to fail.
For when I try carrying,
I cannot lift as You can.