They always said
How much the little girl
Was like her daddy--
The way she stood
Walked 
Movements
Gestures--
Cute when she was small

But the older she gets
The more she takes on
More serious aspects--
My strengths
My weaknesses.

Proud to see her
Strong personality—
Flashbacks to my youth.
Strong-willed
Free in spirit
As a young deer
Kinking up its hind legs
In defiance of constriction.

A free spirit sees
No need for the fences
We build to contain it
To control their so-called
Baser instincts.

In her my strengths are
Magnified-- but oh
So are my weaknesses--
My weaknesses magnified!

Looking at this
Living mirror of myself
Magnifies
Intensifies
A normal father/daughter
Relationship.

I think I see clearly because
I think I know myself so well--
I chastise myself
I condemn my weaknesses
The mistakes I made in my youth.

I look down at me
She looks up to me.

They say she is
So much like her daddy
But she is much more--
Part mama
Part gran
Part grandma
A tapestry of traits
All formed in her
Along with what her social
Environments have
Sown and reaped.

The teenager often sees the
Outward beauty of a
Model or movie star--
Someone is always
Better looking
Someone else always
Has more of something.

I try so hard to make her see
That this is so common
A feeling--
She is above all this
She is not run of the mill.

Time has proved
That I see more
Than what meets the eye
But this knowing
Holds possible dangers--
I can see ahead to
Warn her of trouble
But there are troubles
That she must endure.
Over-protection--
Every parent knows this pain.

I do not want to fail her
But distance grows
Between us when
I monitor her progress
When I push and ****
To make her less like daddy.
She shouldn’t be like me--
I have too many regrets.

I sometimes hear sounds that
I cannot distinguish--
I hear fluttering sounds
That I think are birds
Flying out of the trees
But in reality it is the wind
Blowing high
Through the pines.

I see shadows of strangers
Seeking mischief
Shining bright
Lights at the family tent
In the cold
Half-dream-state
Of the cold night--
But reality says it is
The distortion of the campfire
Through the fabric of the tent.

I cannot always distinguish
Certain sights and sounds
At certain times
But time reveals what
They truly are.

But to bite the tongue
When I wish to scold
Out of season--
To stop focusing on our
Likenesses to the point
Where I cannot differentiate
Between my feelings
Or what I used to feel
And the individual soul
That my daughter is.

They always say how
much she is like her daddy--
Maybe daddy needs to change.

That lasting life change
So deep, so heart felt?

How is it born?
That deep inner knowing
A place of understanding
Connected to what Is
Divine within each of us?

As we work together to understand truth
What lies within each of us and directs us
To the deepest desired connections
Of our intertwined hearts?

Is this within?
The unfolding Inner most being
A Higher Spiritual Self?

The Spiritual Man
The Spiritual Woman
Who's purpose exposes
Our strengths and weaknesses
With expected and unexpected gifts?

As our weaknesses bring
Us to our knees
Lamenting our life's challenges
Crying out our broking hearts
Evaluating the known and unknown
How do we begin to move along
The Way Home?!

Do we go into the unknown shadow of darkness
Only to shriek and back away?  
Or do we chose to allow courage
To accept our steps into it's presence?

In spite of our fears
Will we allow courage
To forge our greatest strengths?
As steal within the bellowing fires?
And if we allow resolve
Will we find deeper wisdom and truth
Beating within the sacred chambers of our hearts?

The opening is before us.
If you place a hand on the door
Open it wide!

It was then!
He stepped into the shadow of
His own darkness…..
Finding himself alone
He reached his hand back
Toward hers.

Stepping into her own shadow
She grasped his outstretched hand
Pulling, supporting, anchoring together
Both facing the Light...

From within their own
Shadows of darkness
Holding fast,
They began their journey together.

Step by step
Line up on line
Precept upon precept.....

Please don´t beat yourself up when things don´t go as planned
Please let yourself cry when things go wrong
And smile whenever you want to
Do not suppress you're being into somebody you´re not
Or fear that you will never be loved
You don´t need someone to tell you that you´re good enough
Please remember why you got a word inked into your skin
Don´t die on me when I need you the most
You´re everything to me, with all the flaws you consider weaknesses
But I love you for them. It makes you, you, authentic and real
We have so much to explore and feel in this world
Just breathe and hold on, I want to open your eyes and see the horizon full of
the stars, you don´t want to be among them just yet
Once your time comes you will, but now it's not your time
So please just breathe, and take a moment at a time
Let the compass lead you, to wherever it desires to be

These nights, I hate
Tonight is one of those nights
I have tears flowing out of my eyes
Instead of closed eyelids
When you're ruling like a little tyrant
When your little adorable self is nowhere in sight
And I'm managing the worst emotion

These nights are a test of my patience
They are a measure of my ability to stay focused
They are a test of my ability to stay sane
In the midst of the madness
That is my overwhelming emotions
They are a test of my ability to put you first
Not that I do have another choice
At times I can control it
Other times it gets too much
Sometimes I cry too much
Other times I just stare at you blankly
I want to ask you why you can't just let me
Get this precious thing I've waited all day to have
But I can't. Because you can't.

Then after several minutes, or hours
Of a mixture of self control and overreaction
I get what I wanted
I guess when you have to do things alone
You learn to wade through the mud that is your emotions
You learn to be strong in your weakness
You learn to give yourself a pat
You learn to encourage and admonish yourself
Because only you, can make yourself better
Or worse
And tonight, I choose better.