Lay beside me, wasting my time,
You've done this the last four years,
Showing a sliver of the lovely creature you were,
You have become the epitome of my greatest fears.

What I'm saying is you are only half-there,
Your partial absence drives me insane,
My tender heart too attatched to you,
You make a mess of my brain.

You only think about yourself,
Lacking the strength to look beyond your veil of smoke,
A planet of people exists who are scared to lose you,
Their fear does not bother you, so concern you provoke.

When you are feeling like nobody cares,
Having a bad day, bad week,
When you do not want to take another breath,
Remember life is valuable, though for now you are weak.

Tell me there isn't a point anymore,
Just don't know how to make you see,
You are loved, should be aware of your beauty,
I feel your hesitation, insecurity.

I sense that I am no longer helping growth,
Maybe we need a reality check,
This is not a proper way to live,
Transforming into an emotional wreck.

I think about you, I come unglued,
Still remember who you used to be,
How your skin tasted before the holes,
When your laughter was more than a remote memory.

Outside our cell a world is waiting,
Reality becoming distressingly clear,
Someone who is unwilling will not change,
I know this yet an invisible chain holds me here.

Dangerous game we play for two,
Do you miss leading me astray with lies?
I followed you everywhere, wish I had known,
Your sight was as blind as my blindfolded eyes.

Profound power possessed in your palm,
You hold my puppet strings,
Anchored by dreams and twisted promises,
Delicately, my strength swings.

Ambitions hardly holding on,
Changing into a shape you choose,
Break me into your "perfect" girl,
You ran my well dry til there was nothing left to use.

Is it me you desire, or what I have to give?
Do you love my body or soul?
The only reason you have tolerated my mind so long,
Is because I made it easy for you control.

I am so close I can reach out and touch you
But I do not think I could make you stay
If you wanted me you would be
With me longer than just one day

I saw the way you looked at me
You were happy to see me again
Everything you did reminded me
Why I haven't looked at other men

Maybe this is temporary
Soon we won't have to be apart
Hope you plan on coming back to me
Instead of wasting my time and heart

Health is stuffy and boring
I cannot focus at all
Not one task better to do
Than stare at blank wall

Droning on and on
That door far away
Is it bad that I do not understand
A single word or phrase you say?

Zoning off into distance
Mind up in the sky
I am not paying attention
And I'm not gonna try

Torture is a waste of time
And I am not the only one
Who is waiting for the bell to ring
And class to be done

Time goes by slowly
My brain wearing down
This madness so dulling
I would rather drown

Wait and hope silently
Anxious shuffle in my weary head
Still the teacher carries on
I do not know what's being said

It is cold and I am tired
Wish I could get out
Outside sit patient, quietly
Inside I scream and shout

This poem ***** I know
What can I say?
I am just wasting time
Til the school bell rings today

Is there a pill tougher, than that of time?
Swallow or not, it marches on
Caring not for thoughts of apathy
So don't waste a life, wondering on
Places you'd see, or people you'd rather be
People won't stand aside, and welcome you to
The dreams you lock up for none to see

For i see a blank canvas, without a story to share
Shutting out undeserving company
They don't know your dreams, you don't care for theirs
They only remind you, of you
So, to another day spent staring, at these four walls
As blank as the canvas, you call your life

I know
Under all these skin
And fat hugging me
Happiness was etched on my bones.

I just needed to waste
Away enough to see them
And feel them under my fingers.

H-A-P-P-I-N-E-S-S