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Jul 2018
Lay beside me, wasting my time,
You've done this the last four years,
Showing a sliver of the lovely creature you were,
You have become the epitome of my greatest fears.

What I'm saying is you are only half-there,
Your partial absence drives me insane,
My tender heart too attatched to you,
You make a mess of my brain.

You only think about yourself,
Lacking the strength to look beyond your veil of smoke,
A planet of people exists who are scared to lose you,
Their fear does not bother you, so concern you provoke.

When you are feeling like nobody cares,
Having a bad day, bad week,
When you do not want to take another breath,
Remember life is valuable, though for now you are weak.

Tell me there isn't a point anymore,
Just don't know how to make you see,
You are loved, should be aware of your beauty,
I feel your hesitation, insecurity.

I sense that I am no longer helping growth,
Maybe we need a reality check,
This is not a proper way to live,
Transforming into an emotional wreck.

I think about you, I come unglued,
Still remember who you used to be,
How your skin tasted before the holes,
When your laughter was more than a remote memory.

Outside our cell a world is waiting,
Reality becoming distressingly clear,
Someone who is unwilling will not change,
I know this yet an invisible chain holds me here.

Dangerous game we play for two,
Do you miss leading me astray with lies?
I followed you everywhere, wish I had known,
Your sight was as blind as my blindfolded eyes.

Profound power possessed in your palm,
You hold my puppet strings,
Anchored by dreams and twisted promises,
Delicately, my strength swings.

Ambitions hardly holding on,
Changing into a shape you choose,
Break me into your "perfect" girl,
You ran my well dry til there was nothing left to use.

Is it me you desire, or what I have to give?
Do you love my body or soul?
The only reason you have tolerated my mind so long,
Is because I made it easy for you control.
I feel so stupid now for trusting you.
Amanda
Written by
Amanda  24/F/Alaska
(24/F/Alaska)   
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