It's you the one I see across the room.
It's you the one I wanna I want to be with.
It's you the one I want to be in a dark room.
It's you the one I want to cuddle with.
It's all you!

it’s taken me a very long time to realize
you were never what I wanted,
but you looked like it.
you smelled like home,
you felt like peace.
I kept mistaking you for calm
when you were just an empty room when I entered.
...and if this is what love is,
I want no parts of it.
I take away my own joy too much
to allow you to leave me wanting
and waiting too.
I’m so tired of not lying next to love at night and I don’t want to fight for love alone anymore.

In the dark.
I let myself shiver.
If I had a lover .
I wish they would hold me.
I wish they were there.
     So I don’t focus on the monster that’s not there reaching for my neck.
But  instead,their heartbeat when I put my head on there chest.
Like a flashlight in a dark tunnel.

I CAN SEE THAT EVERYTHING AHEAD IS GOING TO BE OKAY






* to bad I left it in the basement and it’s out of batteries*
    Like I am weak when they leave me

Let me explore you
Not just with my hands
Or my tongue
But with my heart and soul
Let me peel off your outer layers
So we can truly be one

love today looks like
yoga right out of bed
and coffee.

...deep breathing,
with only that and this body in mind.
it looks like wanting,
wanting more for myself
wanting more of myself
wanting it all for myself
wanting everything I deserve that makes me more than myself.
...wanting myself.

working though this tension
and realizing this pain is trying to tell me something.
my body has been communicating and it has taken me 27 years to become intelligent enough to listen.