In the clearing
where lambs graze
our daughters also
walk at their leisure
toward school
...
there are no fences here
the shepherds allegedly
keep watch in the darkest of hours
but when steps from
an intersecting path
lunge forth as
the unsuspecting wolf
a twisted creature
upon our precious girls
these herdsmen are
certifiably blind and mute
neglectful staffs
striking the air
...
listen closely now
to the gathering winds
their transformation is actually
echoes of our own children's
eternal cries

There are too many times when i feel so alone,
when i can't wait to close my eyes
but there are nights right now where i fear for my life
as i remember all that has happened.
So as days turn to nights and i watch the sunrise.
I can't help but wish i wasn't alive!

So tonight when i close my eyes
I'll beg for the nightmares to stay at bay,
but the nightmares they're always my memories,
of his hands all over me till I can't breathe.
I wake up in tears, wishing that this would all go away!

I remember the times that this happened,
wishing everything would just end.
I thought i was supposed to feel safe in myself,
but now i feel like i can't trust a soul.
Why is it men feel like they can have everything they want?
Now i'm left here so broken, afraid i can never move on.

We rally for ‘safe spaces’,
And I say I want to ‘enable’ them.
But my own mind doesn’t feel so,
And yet I want to make spaces safe.

My thoughts are unsettling,
And they can un-safe your space
But I demand ‘safety’ for Others
As I forget my agency,
And practice it for Them.

i ate a plum today
the deep purple hue
and melting red juice
dribbled over my chin
it wasnt quite ripe
and this is how my poem begins
you arent really my type
standing all akin
mind all a luce
but im drawn to you
what might the knights forsay?
when they see me run
for fun
into your arms
might their ears shriek in alarm?

i ate a plum yesterday
might it have been ripe this day?
leaving my mouth dry and bitter
i would like another bite
my poem is not over
men do not think me polite
i cause their knees to jitter
and this is what the knights forsay
when i ran to your arms that day

"he is a reminder, that looks deceive, a ripe plum is not ripe at all, the act is clear, shouldnt the juice be sweet? shouldnt the corners of your mouth lay sticky? you are instead left bitter, running to an unsavory fruit that longs for your tongue. you do not eat unripe fruit, you throw it aside. this fruit will quake and die quietly where you have left it... do not be a fruit fly, they crave lifeless desperate sweets."

When you said,
"Your secret is safe",
Vulnerable
is how I felt.

I looked at my cousins profile today
It was full of happy birthday
Prayers and wishes
Greatness and I love you’s
I miss you’s and please come home
But I can’t help but scream
And cry and pray that he never sees the light of day.
That he rots away behind the only bars that are keeping me safe.
I pray his sentence was life,
But the justice system doesn’t care.
They don’t care my will was pinned down
My voice was kept silent
And a magical experience ripped away.

I looked at his sons profile today.
Drawing and anime all the way.
Updated pictures free will to walk.
Free will to go harm another person who’s lost.
No punishment granted.
And smiles he may
Stealing the smiles he wiped from my face.
He plays little games with cards always winning never losing just like how he won that day.
His Facebook reveals all
No regret in his eyes.
No apologies given
So here I lye

I looked at my rapists profiles today
And the the justice system failing
To keep me safe.

You’re there for me,
Until I actually need you.
Then I’m an inconvenience,
You get so angry,
You get so short, shove it in my face and hate everything about it.
Is this what love is?
Is this what needing you is?
If so I never want to need you again.

Back to the world
I still refuse to awaken in

Back to the world
That reminds me of a corpse

Back to the world
Which stole my warmth and praise

Back to the world
Where my safeties cease to exist

Back to the world
That hurts me so

Back to the world
And those burning eyes