Seeking balance relentlessly
on a precipice..

Sometimes I walk the edge
cutting my tender feet..

Sometimes I wander back
to comfort and safety..

Am I meant to leap?

Will I fall away
by some beautiful mistake
to the place heaven meant for me?

Will I open up some unseen wings
and become what I never knew I was
and always dreamed to be?

Or will I fall
to be punished by the waves
against the shore?

Foolish flightless bird
attempting to soar..

she was a system
i can never violate again

I believe that every conscious being travels this road
Where nothing is completely given or reached
Where everything completely stop but never goes
This road diverged into either the left path or right
plagued with the  decision of making a choice
The pressure of that inner voice
Speaking to you
of the consequences of each action
the good never out weigh  the bad
The consequences never worth the results
The action of always sacrificing something in terms of ganging
It is the  road that you cannot venture away
No matter where you turn
you always end up returning
this road is one who tampers with your mental capacity
Your morality
Your happiness
Your individuality
It happened too those before
and will to those after me
what a progressional tragedy

Four walls; a pair of cupped hands.
Jaundiced like an open eye; an open cove
Prescribing solitude to those whom solitude cannot withstand,
And I choose this cold corner which is furthest from the door,
To be where I am not, before
Your proclivities become my own, I write. I write,
My window holds my breath and frosts the world,
The moon in his amber gown, dressed in chatoyance and spite,
Godspeed; dark, dark shroud for naked skies!
Six floors, walls, doors from you am I.

I couldn't write when the sun peered in,
Her inquiry evangelizing the specks of time left upon the glass -
I've heard it all before; God's shining face leaves none unloved (unseen)
but his spotlight has no starlet; so who can see me up here?
We can't see from windows, dear.
I'd live and sing for the cloudless hall
The nursery of misanthropists crawling on the grey cobblestone
And the lilt of the wind on the rose; through squares nice and small -
The peevish moth shudders at the sight of itself obscuring the day through the glass.
It seems we're always in the way.

I’ve been in the business of
one night stands for a while now.
It involves me being on my own,
alone in a room,
naked
of all my fears and uncertainties.

I usually feel ashamed in the morning
and can't find the door quickly enough
to leave behind this safe place
and get back to the war zone that
my heart seems to be.

Mother promised me one day we would go to the moon, I guess I could never trust a woman after that ever again.
The butterflies in your stomach didn't feed you for too long darling, did they?
I see you starving and denying me away.
It's like a distant waltz we dance, one step closer and two steps further.
I used to hate father for being so cruel, I understand now he was just being honest.
I show you the rare bright yellow moon on a cloudy night, you say it's "pretty" but there's no more meaning than that.
Everytime I put up flowers on the bedside, you wake up and thank me with a kiss that fells bad.
I guess we got lost somewhere between the first ice cream and the last shared song.
I am still chanted by your surreptitious smile, I wonder if your laughter is still the same after you you see me being clumsy or if you're just playing along.
You were in love, I was charmed. The table has turn, don't you think?
For the first time I am not mad. You told me from the start "that's about that: I overdose food, drugs, people, life. I get bored and move on. You're like a vast ocean, and I never learnt to swim".
Open doors left behind, half a story told. I'd rather live a tragedy than be left in an alley with half a book.
Stage me up. We waltz one more day, I'll be the one aching in the end of that song.

Rats in a line,
All ordered and filed,
For miles, they stretch,
Each tail to a head,
Faces calm and well-worked,
No scuffle, noise or protest,
No words, because they know none;
Every few moments they shuffle,
Further down the dirt path,

Approaching a pit,

A pit, very wide,
The width, of course, not their concern,
The leader stops
Before the pit’s mouth, staring into blackness;

With a thought, he falls, silently,
Carelessly,
Wind rushing between his legs,
Whisking itself up against his eyes, ears, and lips,
In fantastic flight

Into uncertainty

A new leader takes hold,
This one, shaken;
He stares into the abyss,
But soon realizes the
Horrifyingly insipid Earth surrounding him

Soulless branch after branch,
Teeming with filth and despair,
Rays of sun dampened by a
Caustic fog

A nudge from his successor
Forces him out of his
Epiphanous trance,
And into the well of nothingness,
Squealing

Who falls the fastest,
The philosopher or the realist?

"This country is getting so much sickening." said you, while kept holding my body tight.

I told you that our country was not a peaceful place to spend the rest of our lives in. The moral panic and all those prejudices towards marginalized people were beyond words to describe.

"We're not running out of tolerance, we're having lack of literacy, our nation is." said you.

You told me that people should maintain their interest to read books as well as to publicly share their own point of views.

I murmured quietly that it just what it usually was, since the year of Our Prophet was born into this ****** kind of hell aka world.

You closed your eyes gently. I always love seeing your eyes closed. I felt peace in me. It was quiet great to know this kind of feeling exist.

And after all we spent the rest of our times talking about our worries about the future of our country, and the fear of our own future. Yet, some quiet time also spent to tease me talking about my favorite lipstick shades. You said I was a fool for collecting all those stupid make-up kits, so was I. You were right.

We discussed anything except our own certainty. Because the uncertainty we possessed is what keeps us alive.

"Let me hug you."

I said nothing but hugged you even more.

At least I could feel your heartbeat. The life in you, was what amazed me, and still amazes a little soul inside of me.

You should know, with no word to say, all in me murmurs quietly, how mesmerizing it is knowing you are here.

I don't want to lose you to those dark nights
When the light
is just right
to begin your performance of just you

I know how it feels, it's happened to me too
No value
In rendezvous
It's a curtain call, I say my "adieu"

Yeah, you hurt me pretty badly
But I knew, we agreed,
This would never be easy
And it kills you,
It tears you apart
To know you've caused this damage
Right from the start

And it never goes
It never goes

Those bright days,
Sunshine rays
And neon shades
With me, with you,
One truth:
It's possible to feel this good again.

Those paling scars,
Both of ours,
Newborn bright stars
With me, with you,
One truth:
It's possible to have this gone again.

And it never goes
It never goes

I don't want to lose you to those dark nights
Black, once white
In the moonlight
Because there was never a stage, yet you wrote playwright

And it never goes
It never goes

A scene with me, a scene with you,
One truth:
It's possible to never know.