Don’t listen to a word that escaped my lips
when I stood with a foot out the door
and myself out of my mind;
I’ve no other way
to keep still
the fires that rage in my belly
sometimes spew out of me in a definite set of words:
leave if you must.

I have shaky hands and I spill a little heartbreak wherever I go.

Oh god
when it’s all over
we still have to clean up.

Moving on was like building a home.
Only for you to burn it down and for me to get out of the house struggling to survive.
For me to find a new home.

Moving on was like swimming in the ocean and getting caught in a wave.
Each time I tried to swim out further, I got pulled back to shore.
back to where I started.
Like my heart was afraid of what was out there.

Moving on was like hitting a hard concrete from a 2 story building
it sure didn’t **** me, but it ******* hurt.

I don’t write the things I write because they sound beautiful, I write them because I actually feel and think them and this is my way of getting my thoughts out. 
I am so sick of people glorifying selfharm and eating disorders… Honestly this site disgusts me at times, girls thinking they need to be troubled to fit in, that it is cool to stick your fingers in your throat and hug the toilet daily…
no no no

Having your thighs touch does not mean you are fat, it means that your hip structure is wider than others’. 
Having scars does not mean you are mysterious and interesting, it means you have secrets, struggles you wanted to get out but couldn’t. Scars are nothing to be proud of, you may be proud of the fact that they are scars and not wounds anymore, but showing them off is just sick. 
Please believe me that having a bigger size than your friend doesn’t make you fat, it makes you different. Which is good. There is no such thing as ugly or fat, there is only beauty which has a very wide definition. But the bigger part of that definition goes back to one thing; happiness.
stop glorifying troubles and making it seem cool to have them, you are not a freak if you feel happy, for one, you are lucky. Go ahead and feel happy. Let it scare you, smile so wide your cheeks hurt. That’s what it’s all about.

It is not supposed to be like this.
The tears,
they're supposed to disappear.
And I told myself
it would not end up like this again.
No,
I promised myself that I would not let it get this bad.

This is all wrong,
and I can not bring myself to tear away from your gaze.

Since when did ignorance become a cure?
Since when did turning a blind eye make everything dissapear?
Since when did ‘are you okay?’ become the only question asked,
And ‘I’m fine’ become the expected and definitive answer?
Because ‘I’m fine’ is the only answer I can give when someone is holding a gun to the back of my head,
I may be plummeting down a deep, dark hole,
But you’re the one watching me fall,
You’re the one who could simply unfurl there fingers from their balled up fist and offer it down to me,
You are the ****** of magpies, the unkindness of ravens,
That feed off of dying things and the excuse of ‘it’s all too much’,
Do not talk to me of burden when my hands are stained with blood and you can wash the paint so easily from yours,
Do not talk to me of burden when you’re not the one hiding nine circles of hell behind closed eyelids,
Do not talk to me of burden when bombed out basements have offered me more shelter than you have ever given,
Do not talk to me of burden,
Do not talk to me,
Do not talk,
Just listen,
There are half a million people out there just waiting for you t die so they can claim they were your best friend and lately I’ve been asking for help,
Lately I’ve been chasing you around fallen trees and you have brandished crucifixes to ward away the devil,
Lately I’ve been thinking about breaking things,
And watching, when so many of them lie like shards of porcelain on the ground,
How many expect me to help.

You once told me you liked the way the city
breathes in beats of cold concrete
And since then I've found there's something fragile about our motley body heat
Cold breath and fur coats deep in the forest with the roaches
Burnt earth from the other kids' fires
Comfortable anxiety through wet window panes in the morning and wet hair in the evening
Both of us have fingernails nawed through to the bone
And lips scaled scarred but we still call them home
Hey, we're diamonds down to our human hilt
And we laugh when we realize our teeth are sharper 'cause of it
Pop your joints and join me in the tent we put up half heartedly
With the bags stacked up in the corner like mock artistry
Because we enjoy the grass more than we enjoy the stars -
Comets and planets only appeal to me when all of them are ours
Swirling in the eyes like a mark of what makes me yours
Or painted on your hands in kids acrylic when I'm tired and bored
Blue seeping into your freckles
Like starry night for sorry lovers.

Bitterly clinging to my skin,
the windows of your car have frozen over.
4:00 AM
and you're curling up to me,
making jokes in my ear.
I've forgotten who we are
to compensate for who we were.