I love the taste of fire and ashes,
even the pungent sting of burnt charcoal.
Decaying in gasoline.
Because they were remnants once,
of who I was.

By any measure
Accomplishing your goals is called success.
Yet in and of itself
When all is said and done it means little.

Success is not the measure of the man,
But what comes after it -
After the struggling and the inward perspective
Comes significance,

That greater purpose
For which we all should strive,
To matter,  not to ourselves
But to the lives of others,

“Hello”, he said
Eyeing me in the football stand,
And with diminished accolade
Expounded, “Your Roddy’s dad.”

And in a twinkling
The true measure came to me,
That in his world, and that of my son
I had attained significance.

Biggest fear about being seen is that not only will my light shine my darkness too will penertrate through.
Living in community where I am looked to scares me
Not a way to hide a bad day
With tear streked checks there is no dening the crying
And to carry on is the only option Depths of being not wanted to be shown are there on display
No escaping to a house alone
Here we meditate, eat, work, dance, sing, share everything together.
There can be no hiding of ones self from anyone
On display
Constantly
Expectations push down my feelings of freedom
Am I a butterfly ready to emerge or am I being buried under?
It appears to be able to go either way
No one ever said transformation was easy

The light touched my hand
And I was transformed
Back into the earth

The dirt I lay in
Seems to eat me
Knowing I have
no shovel
I began to delve

Mad at the world around
I began to see myself
Wanting to breathe
Just not on the surface

I've got to hide
Run away just for a short time
As the earthworms search me
I see a spotlight beneathe me

Someone else is waiting inside
They're there too
Just like i

Guess the lonely
Need the lonley

a tear drops from her eyes
and it brings no cause
though it quivers with emotion

and the stars do not shine brighter
when polished with her briny tears
but dim their glow and listen
listen!
to her sobbing
but wait
her capillaries will burst!
stop it!
stop it!

its translucence
its opaqueness
the inherent contradictions it produces
and the images it emanates

so while her eyes may open
they are unfocused
and gone
and the click of their judgements is obscene
because her soul has escaped

where has it gone?
she swears she saw it just a moment ago
just a moment
just a moment
just a moment

We all have temples
And ruins in ourselves,
Yet I got to be my own devil.

Full of fatal advice
Was the altar in cold Styx
I set myself upon.

(I, a princess perished afterwards.)

But with these meager, mortal eyes,
Had I ever seen anything so terrific
As the face of a god?

Thunder roared.
Fiery heart.
Fever in my palms.

(I, a goddess of madness now.)

The truth inside you will be a whisper
The most quiet sound.

No one would hear it, not even you

And as that voice in multitudes it said you will

And it said a word that shook your body
It shook your being
Every foundation - every cell - every experience
The sense of being shattered

And the broken pieces that bottled, closed, and caged you
In an invisible prison - one in which you never saw - these pieces
Will be a reminder...

For every time you think the past is catching up again...
You will stomp your feet harder: time and time again

This is the Real
Me

Now, what the hell has just happened to me?
i went to sleep, and felt semi human,
alarm goes off, open my eyes to see,
two mounds where my wee chest should be....

My ****** armpits stink, and have sprouted fuzz,
and there,s hair where my lady garden was,
my beautiful blonde hair is all goopy and limp,
and my face bares a likeness to a spotty young chimp....

When i went up to bed, i loved my dear mother,
now, the thought of a cuddle makes me run and take cover,
and that lanky Josh Owens used to repulse me, no end,
but today all i want is to be his girlfriend....

I suppose i will have to start wearing a bra,
and i,ll have to smile through all the taunts from grandma,
and my father will watch every move that i make,
and i,ll have to conform, for my sanity's sake....

Well, tonight when i lay down my spotty wee head,
i will lie here and wait for the morning, with dread,
with all these transformations,sweaty armpits, hair all grease,
oh dear universe, please help me make it through in one piece !!

(c)eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com2018   (re-edited)