I keep a library
small but not tiny
nearly filled to the brim
a million words within
I keep watch over them
a lonely archivist whose sin:
reading dusty texts whilst yearning
even with them burning
my skin

It's roughly 1 am and I am staring at the ceiling fan wondering if i leave it on long enough if it'll fall off the ceiling-
I can't get your body out of my head the way your arms flex around me when you hug me or the way you push those hips on top of me... maybe I just need to get off already--

It's almost 2 am and I am pacing my room smoking with the windows open and it's freezing outside-
I hope she treats you as good as I wish I could have but I'm just a messed up kid with no self respect-

I'ts 3 am and I don't think I am going to sleep anytime soon as I put on another *** of coffee and think about my life --
I wonder if you're pressing those hips against hers... I bet she's really good in bed-
I wonder if when you kiss her you think about me kissing you... or maybe you think about me kissing her?

It's 4 am... why the **** I am still awake I have no idea but I can't get you out of my head--
I text you to see if you're awake because I am really good at bad decisions lately--

It's 5 am and you respond with little enthusiasm especially since I am your ex girlfriend-
You tell me " It's over, go to bed."--

I was never very good at following the rules I guess.

i stayed up last night
till 3 am
not crying
but smiling from ear to ear

i hadn't felt that feeling in so long
i wasn't drunk
i was high on happiness and emotions

i tried to sleep
but i just kept dreaming
of him
and his words
all morning long

I am constantly misread.
By the way I speak,
The words I write,
And the actions I do.
Everything is analyzed in such a way, today
That there is no way around it.
We are criticized,
Yelled at,
Belittled,
Because of words we did not say.
But for the interpretations people take from our
Words we speak,
Words we write,
And actions we do.
Life was simple back then
When I wasn’t constantly misread.