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annie Apr 2020
i love you like the moon loves the stars
like the grass loves the rain
like teenage girls love silly cliches

i love you like you couldn't know
like i never thought i could
like words could never say

i never wanted to love you
i never needed anyone
the way i need you

i don't know how to love you
i don't know why i love you
but i don't know how i couldn't

i love the way you smile just right
the way your lips fit with mine
the way your eyes twinkle in the sun

i want to tell you how i love you
how you help me forget
how you keep me alive inside

i don't deserve to love you
i don't deserve your sweet words
your patience when i can't say the same

but i still love you like a cactus loves the desert
like the sun loves the blue sky
like words love the page
for jamie
annie Apr 2019
i want to write another poem
another few words about the world i feel

the world that's closing in on me
but i keep pushing
and pushing
and pushing

the world that won't let me go
crawling its way through
trying to find something that's no longer there
or maybe it never was

i want to talk to someone
i want to let it go
i want to scream to the sky and tell it what it's done
the blood it's shed
the tears i've let fall on my bathroom floor

i want to write another poem
but instead i'll sit here
hands cracked and dry and aching for the release of pen on paper
as i fade away
nobody wants to hear it anyway
annie May 2018
i'm so ******* tired of all of the
broken girls
complicated girls
save me girls
girls with pretty little red lines running up and down their arms

girls just waiting for the perfect guy to love them enough
get a semi-colon tattoo
buy some colourful clothes
and feel all better

where are all the girls
with scars hidden so no one can see
trying bottle after bottle of medication
talking to anyone who will listen
swimming in circles but trying to escape
no-one to pull them out

where are all the boys
armed with tape and glue
trying to fix every ******* piece
but leaving ***** fingerprints instead

show me recovery
show me relapse
show me that i'm not alone
i can't be alone
annie May 2018
maybe i wasn't meant to be the girl
with wind blowing through her hair
laughter twinkling through her lips
gently parting to make way for another
held gently in their grasp

maybe all my destiny holds
are drunk nights and forgotten memories
fleeting glances saying
"text me.
8 am bus rides in last night's clothes
never spoken of again

sometimes i'm okay with it
air finds a way in
i can scrape my body along the dirt
and the bruises don't hurt anymore

but sometimes i start to bleed
it fills my lungs
i ignore the drowning
but sometimes i get tired
of not being able to breathe
annie Apr 2018
i get so **** tired
waiting for something to come my way
i grew up with stories
of princesses and witches
and parties and beautiful things happening to beautiful people
and i wish
and i wish
                   and i wish
that was me
but i sit
and i tire
and i waste
and i cry
why not me
annie Mar 2018
i really hate the way how in teen movies the guy is often older by 2+ years, especially ones where the guy is in college. when i was 17, i was sleeping with guys that were 19+, and because of all this positive messaging, it didn't seem like a big deal. i'm nearly finished my first year of uni now - the same place where those guys were in their life - and i am an entirely different person. the maturity differences between someone who is 15/16/17 and someone who is 18+ cannot be understated, and it hurts me to know now that even though i thought i was the same as them, this was not the case. i need every teen reading this - even you "adult" teens - to know that it's okay to wait. you won't shrivel up, you won't die, you'll be alright on your own. it'll be okay.
annie Feb 2018
sometimes i open my eyes
but i never wake up
mouth opening to no sound
breathing without air

if i could speak
i would say all the words
you want to hear
but darling
speaking is harder than waking

so believe me when i say
not with words
but through action
that i need you
and someday
i may wake
i may speak
as long as you wait
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