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Ammar Jun 2018
I read through our old conversations
some full of love
the morning I tried to make shine for you
you'd wake up and ask me to hold you
I'd say cuddles you
and somehow that was good enough
for you to feel warm
you'd call me crying
when your shoulder ached
I'd calm you
give you love
and you'd be better
it was too easy
too good to be true
late nights you'd text me
asking if I was up
you had a nightmare
and you just want to hold me
I'd just text holds you tight
and almost like magic
you fell back asleep
as if nothing had happened
there were conversations of days
before and days after
your best memories

I read through our old conversations
these were you telling me
how you had never loved me
nor you ever could
I'd say nothing
and everything
in the same lines of empty texts
I'd still sit and hear you tell me
how I wasn't what you had wanted
or when you'd blame me
for being so far away
and leave me to cry in the night
or the texts from when
I called you late night
I'd wanted to say I love you
but you screamed at me
for waking you up too late
you silenced the same special notifications
from calling out your name
there were conversations
where I'd beg you to stay
but you'd leave mid-convo
and disappear
blue ticks turned gray
double ticks turned single

I read through our new conversations
and they aren't on whatsapp
they are right here
in the poetry we write

its me talking about the havoc
that you caused
or you talking about the texts
which you could never send me

its me telling you "I hate you"
when I have nothing to prove that
or you talking of our old memories
the ones that stretch from summer to winter
from spring to autumn

its me filling your whatsapp inbox
so you'd maybe speak your heart
or you adding my name to your contacts

its me trying not to say "I love you"
because I'm more afraid of love
for what it did to me
for what you did to me
or you trying to remind yourself
of what love looked like
when you had it

its me trying to deny love
when I am filled with it
or you trying to hide your heart
behind your mind
I didn't deserve this
you did this
you deserve it
Lily Jun 2018
It’s okay.
It’s okay that you constantly
Ignore me, never text me,
Purposely refuse to answer my phone calls.
It’s okay that I spend my nights in tears,
Trying to fathom your motives,
Never finding solace in sleep.
It’s okay that you never listen to me
When I speak, that you always
Cancel our plans,
That you don’t seem to care about me
Anymore.
It’s okay.
I guess I was never good enough.
Awtumn Jun 2018
We talked everyday,
Like clockwork,
Then something changed.
I could feel it,
But I wasn't sure
What was different.
I know that I'm not
The only person they talk to.
We have different lives,
Different friends.
I stay home all day,
I know they have plans.
But I look forward to every message,
To smiling at my phone
Because of something that was said.
I love our conversations
That aren't really about anything,
But now we barely talk
And it kinda *****.
There's a pit in my stomach
And a voice in my head
Saying maybe they don't like me
As much as I thought,
Maybe there's someone better.
But I hope they're just busy
Because they really mean a lot.
And they know about my feelings,
Claimed they were mutual,
But we should just be friends,
At least for now.
And of course
I said ok,
Though I want nothing more
Then to be theirs.
But now we don't talk
As often as we did
And sometimes I wish
That I hadn't agreed so quickly.
Because talking to them
Makes my whole day.
But without even a hello,
The days go on
And on
For what seems like forever.
All because I'm waiting
For a message
That probably won't come.
skyler Jun 2018
you hit my phone up
"any chance you're awake"
during the late hours
in your intoxicated state

s.s
are you just drunk and lonely? what on earth is going through your head
c Jun 2018
I’m stuck in a swing
Of maybes
Maybe
I’m finding happy again
And maybe
My heart is healing
And maybe
That boy on the other side of the screen
Is looking forward to each text and call from me
But maybe
My happy is circumstantial
And maybe
I’m lying when I say I’m over him
And maybe
Every boy that gives me attention leads me to believe I have a chance at love again.
But
Maybe not.
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
Love you so much
I hate to see you in pain
I want to paint a rainbow
Over this pouring rain
I sent rhis to Tay once when he was upset about something to try and cheer him up
soph May 2018
X
I’m done
I don’t want to talk
Your face makes me uneasy
Your name makes me queasy
You come out of nowhere
Saying you miss me
It stings
I feel guilty for what I do
And what I don’t do
It hurts
I apologize
Though there’s no need
You say you understand
But you don’t
You really
Really
Do
Not
Understand
No one really does
But you
Especially
Do not understand
So stop pretending
If you think we could talk this out
It’s crystal clear
You don’t understand
The emotions you spill fall on me like bricks
Weighing me down with every syllable
Making me wish I was not myself
Making me wish I was a past me
A me that wasn’t tired
A me that wasn’t sick
A me that wasn’t hurting
I mourn my past me
And you do too
This can’t work
I can’t deal
Left on read
I’m sorry
someone I really don’t want to interact with texted me last night and it made me emotional woot woot
Valarola Nikola May 2018
This cough syrup is soaking into every pore in my brain,
And I don't know if I can survive the loop again,
I keep waking up, reaching for my phone,
Just to text you so I don't feel so alone,
But you tell me, oh you tell me,
This is wrong, it just can't be,
And now I know, this one thing is real,
Never did you truly care how I feel,
Now please just let me rest in peace,
Because I don't think I can move my feet,
They told me stand up, after you pushed me down,
And now my dignity is spilled all over the ground,

I looked for you to be my anchor,
And all you were was a mirage of a harbor,
I begged you please hold me up,
Instead you left me face down in the dirt,

Please children don't go tripping,
All you find is brain cells dripping,
Onto the floor like a withering flower,
Wake up keep thinking this time it'll change over and over,
But this is reality, yes this is real,
No matter how many times that it may feel,
Like you'll wake up back home in your bed,
You'll never quite be the same again,
You were supposed to be the voice of reason,
The one thing that could keep me from freezing,
But my feet are tired, and chillingly cold,
And this is it, I'm done, I fold,

I looked for you to be my anchor,
And all you were was a mirage of a harbor,
I begged you please hold me up,
Instead you left me face down in the dirt.
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