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Val Graz Apr 28
I am not dealing with these hoes, you want him, have his ***,
I'm tired of being dragged down by his overpriced baggage,
I don't know about you, but I've got too much pride,
For these little girl games, I won't blindly take a man's side,
If I know he's wrong, you know he's wrong, then why,
You in my inbox telling me to **** myself, telling me to die?
Think Imma go walk into traffic, cause you said so?
No I don't think so, this isn't Simon says **,
I'm on some grown woman ****, so what Imma do,
Is not **** him, and Imma not **** with you,
Because...

Real men don't have a main chick or a side chick,
They're proud when their woman's more than a little thick,
And they don't let ******* go in on them,
They protect what's theirs and they defend,
So here's to my former side chick anthem,
Telling all you ******* out there to drop him,

And honestly, let's be real, he's going to call me in few days,
Saying all the things he always says,
But this time, brinnnng brinnng, yeah, I'm sorry no body is home,
The *** you have dialed, has reformed, please press end call on your phone,
Here's some real *** ****, if you think you may be the side chick,
Do yourself a favor, leave, ain't nothing worth it, not even that ****,
He thinks he's worth it, perfection, you'll never leave,
Then why I'm already blocking you on everything?
Because...

Real men don't have a main chick or a side chick,
They're proud when their woman's more than a little thick,
And they don't let ******* go in on them,
They protect what's theirs and they defend,
So here's to my former side chick anthem,
Telling all you ******* out there to drop him.
Val Graz Mar 13
Why do I **** with you,
When all that we do is,
******* and bang,
Every time we hang,
And this is not okay,
For someone who's slightly insane,
And I've got addiction issues already,
And now you adding in this **** is so heavy,
Before it was just ***** I tripped over,
Now it's the white stuff that's keeping me from gettin sober,
And I crave it like I crave your attention,
But I don't really ever get it,
And it bothers me,
Why can't you see,

That we're not good together, we are not healthy,
And I just for once want someone who's going to push me,
To be better, and not just to settle for good enough,
But you just want to be friends who hang and do drugs,

And I'm not okay,
I haven't known how to say,
That I'm not alright,
And I'm slowly losing the fight,
But I know my suicidal fits,
They scare you more than a bit,
And you'll run away,
Taking my new friend *******,
Can I just can't have that,
So I stay alive for a fix and my cat,
Cause she needs me too,
And I don't know what to do,
Because I've got a new couple of addictions,
And I'm starting to have withdrawal  from your lack of attention,

But we're not good together, we are not healthy,
And I just for once want someone who's going to push me,
To be better, and not just to settle for good enough,
But you just want to be friends who hang and do drugs.
Val Graz Mar 8
How do I find the words,
And for them to not burn,
Coming out of my throat,
We've been in this boat,
Time and time again,
And I'm sorry my friend,
But how do I say,
That I don't want to see another day,
Don't want to live through another sunset,
I still don't know how to get,
These words out,
They can't be found,
It's like 404 of the brain,
And I'm just so insane,
At this point from these boys,
Who treat me like a toy,
To be put on a shelf,
Only to enjoy me in good health,
But when I'm not okay,
Well them I'm afraid,
They leave,
They always leave,

And I'm so tired of living every day like I'm okay,
But I just don't know how to tell you, to say,
That I need help, because I can't be hospitalized another time,
But where does that leave me to turn, I need a sign,

But God has definitely abandoned me,
If he was ever there like they say to believe,
Because I've done things, I've seen things,
I've smoked things, I've snorted things,
And at this point, He can't love me,
God knows no man can find a redeemable quality,
To stick around for,
And I know we've been here before,
But I can't seem to be alright,
No matter how hard I fight,
How many times I meditate,
How hard they try to medicate,
These feelings of suicide,
Out of my half-dead hide,
I can't seem to muster the will to live,
And any I used to have has drained out like a sieve,
The years drained out all the good,
Leaving nothing but pieces misunderstood,
And always feeling abandoned,
Dark thoughts like friends in my head,
The only one's who truly know,
How I feel on a daily basis though,

And I'm so tired of living every day like I'm okay,
But I just don't know how to tell you, to say,
That I need help, because I can't be hospitalized another time,
But where does that leave me to turn, I need a sign.
I'm alright, just had a dark moment. Panic attacks last no more than 30 minutes, not so fun fact, even though they feel like they'll last forever.
Val Graz Mar 6
Smoke more ****, at night,
Forget in the daylight you wanna die,
Cause life's rough,
And you're tired of acting tough,
So smoke ****, to get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Forget that you wanna die,
Smoke ****, so high,
Cause trauma leave scars,
And you're thoughts are turning dark,
In my mind it's all a mess,
And I must, I must confess,
Or I'm going to die,
But I'll continue to lie,
So I'll get high, smoke ****,
Until I can succeed,
In forgetting about you,
And the things that you made me do,

Trauma unfortunately makes the world go wrong way round,
Makes good people turn morally 180 upside down,
Do things they wouldn't of done,
If someone hadn't ****** them up,
Smoke ****, get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Wanna die, wanna die, get high,

Why do people do horrible things?
It's like a circular cycle of a ring,
It goes round and round, trauma does,
And it's so, it's so ****** up,
So we smoke ****, and get high,
To forget that we want to die,
Because someone hurt us in a way,
That still affects us to this day,
So we numb our brain,
With any kind of novocaine,
Because trauma is pain,
Every day, that's why I'm insane,
And I want it to stop, stop, stop,
So I take a pufffff,
of ****, to get high,
Forget that I wanna die,

Trauma unfortunately makes the world go wrong way round,
Makes good people turn morally 180 upside down,
Do things they wouldn't of done,
If someone hadn't ****** them up,
Smoke ****, get high,
Forget that you wanna die,
Wanna die, wanna die, get high.
Val Graz Feb 5
A noose is looking mighty fine,
Cause I'm again walking that line,
Between sobriety and thinking about the first drink,
And I know just what my friends and parents would think,
I've soared straight off the high dive again,
Right into the deep end, my oldest friend,
I've been here before, so many many ******* times,
And it's sad that he can bring me to toeing the line,
But I loved him, and even if his wife doesn't believe me,
What we had was real, and I just hope one day she sees,
How horrible a person he is,
And gets up and leaves,

Because no one deserves to be treated like this,
Like they're trash or less than, like a *******,
And I'm not, we're not, we're beautiful works of art,
That they don't see it that way, is not our fault,
And we will rise above the words they try to make us hurt,
Because we are stronger than they thought we were,

And they try to break us down,
Make us out to be the clowns,
When they're the one's we should've been laughing at,
And it's not funny when your wife called me fat,
It's not my problem that you lied,
And at points I wanted to die,
But you don't care about that,
Bet you wouldn't shed a tear, that's a fact,
Do you care they I've downed a bottle of pills?
To try to cope with how you made me feel,
Or that I put a noose around my neck,
And stood on a chair, but I take it all back,

Because no one deserves to be treated like this,
Like they're trash or less than, like a *******,
And I'm not, we're not, we're beautiful works of art,
That they don't see it that way, is not our fault,
And we will rise above the word they try to make us hurt,
Because we are stronger than they thought we were,

And I will not die for you, or waste another breath,
You are not worth my life let alone my death.
Val Graz Jan 28
I miss you every single day,
I'm sorry you don't feel the same way,
And I won't use this as an excuse,
To reach for some Jose or a noose,
Because this is toxic **** that needs to go,
Right out the door, and lock the window,
Because there's too much hurt and pain,
In the short amount of time you made me insane,

Papi, I liked the way you did things in bed,
And yeah, I got a little addicted to the way you gave head,
But nothing is worth my sobriety or my life,
So that's why this is last text you'll get from me, Goodbye,

Because even though you were my everything,
I feel like I was in the end I was your nothing,
And that makes me feel like complete and utter ****,
So even though I won't drink, maybe I'll take a hit,
Yeah, maybe that's not healthy, maybe it's the opposite,
But at this point I'll do anything not to give in,
To giving in and messaging you again,
Because this, this is the end,

Papi, I liked the way you did things in bed,
And yeah, I got addicted to the way you gave head,
But nothing is worth my sobriety or my life,
So that's why this is last text you'll get from me, Goodbye.
Val Graz Dec 2019
You brought me down, farther than I thought I could go,
I died a slow death every night in my bed all alone,
I would dream of you, and reach for you in my sleep,
Until one day I realized I'd gotten in way too deep,
And I'd never dig myself out all on my own,
So I tried to save myself with drugs and alcohol,
But a person dying of thirst shouldn't drink poison,
And I can no longer worship you like you're my religion,
I won't be one of your little followers, who's blinded by your words,
I will no longer let you make me feel like a worm in the dirt,

You think you're some sort of master manipulator,
Thinking you can run your relationships like a dictator,
But you're really just a scared little boy, who's not all that smart,
And you no longer get to play with the broken pieces of my heart,

You aren't the first person to make me feel like this,
***** and used, I fear you won't be the last,
But I've always been a fighter, cheating death is my past time,
And if I can survive an overdose, I can live and get over a guy,
A child  really, breaking people like they're toys,
Well I refuse to stay in pieces, **** that noise,
And ***** you while we're at it, it's time I get angry,
Stop letting people just continue to play with me,
And not moving on, just answering it by trying to leave,
This time I'm not going, I'm staying, and I'm fixing me,

You think you're some sort of master manipulator,
Thinking you can run your relationships like a dictator,
But you're really just a scared little boy, who's not all that smart,
And you no longer get to play with the broken pieces of my heart.
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