You extinguished the flame,
Yet the embers still glow,
In the quiet corners of my heart,
Where memories flow.
A tale of love and loss,
Shared from long distance,
In the red-lit dark,
A connection, a longing,
A love that begged for amnesia,
As tears stained Paris.
“Was it your husband?” you asked.
“No,” she replied,
“I met him years before,
When I was young and unformed,
Dynamic and beautiful,
With no real sense of my value.”
He saw it, delivered the experience,
I was unwilling to accept,
So I ran, he let me,
With beauty, passion,
And always a scan,
Looking deep into my soul,
Seeing me without words.
The combination of power,
Humility, generosity, passion,
Was too much to take as real,
So I ran, spent 20 years,
Washing him from the fabric of my soul.
I married the man,
Who reminded me in subtle ways,
Of who he was,
He became the bar,
By which all men were measured,
The haunting traits I looked for everywhere.
A strange thing occurred,
As he emerged from uncharted territory,
He identified as love,
Swept away for 16 years,
Bringing the total number of years to 33.
The phone call,
From what seemed like another dimension,
A voice so familiar, long awaited,
I nearly hit the floor,
I spent time examining,
Why now, after 16 years of intentional silence,
Shipwrecked in uncharted territory,
He named love.
We spoke,
I noticed so many versions of me,
Represented on that call,
None of them angry, all of them curious,
Multiple lifetimes flashed through my mind,
What we could’ve been,
Had he not gotten shipwrecked,
In uncharted territory.
But his love, capsized by a new bar set by you,
Extinguished this flame from the past,
I compared him to you,
A man he could never be,
I wished it was you on that call,
Instead of him,
When I tried to imagine a future with him,
I only saw us in the end,
Until sunbeams find you.

Do you see me?  I am running with the peacocks.
They are the Peahens protecting their eggs
and i a part of the harem mating.  Forget
the beauty of our plumage -- we will **** anyone
who tries to get our eggs.

:: 11.16.2021 ::

You've taken a step into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
You're heading into a deep abyss
Where only the lucky have survived
Before you proceed any further
I will give you this warning now
I'm utterly and dangerously fragile
And my patience is running out
My warning signs are on full display
For those who dare on this journey
Caution is written everywhere
So that I know you won't take this lightly
I see the longing looks you're giving
And I can tell you see me as a challenge
Your cockiness will lead to your missteps
A guarantee I experience irrevocable damage
You think you will treat me different
But I know you'll ignore the signs I carry
There's no easy way to let my guard down
When your intentions with me make me wary
You continue to walk into dangerous territory
Unbeknownst to your wide, naïve eyes
Foolishly, you jumped into the deep abyss
But you were not lucky enough to survive

I Sense your
morning movement
as you wrap
your sweetest embrace
into my cold heart
bringing heat
to my uncharted
territory
I surrender…

I rave at your arrival
as you drain
my pool of
longing then
satisfying
my hunger
forever
I remember…

i don’t know
how to
embrace
these feelings
that have
knocked
down my
walls,
invading
my privacy
and the
most important
territory;
my heart

I awoke to a morning of such brief beauties,
How strange these new realities are,
I'm somewhat scared but would like to claim the euphoria,
On a daily basis I'm now leaving my own mind ajar.

It's a risk and I have been delving deeper by the day,
I never knew my own consciousness could be so foreign,
I've been introspecting since my youth but found new territory today,
There is a prospect that is positive or perhaps it is peril, when you cross the mind's old imperious margin.

I'll leave these mark
To show the other girls
That im yours
And you are mine
Even though we are nothing
But just friends

I'll make sure
Your other dates
Won't want you
As much as i want you

cake, keister territory