i want to tell you.
i really do.
i'd love to spill my secrets, my issues to you.
yet i can't comprehend it.
i can't communicate it to you.
and the fact you could leave me.
it makes my heart a tearful blue.
you already look at me as if i'm broken.
what do i have to lose?
i want to tell you.
i really do.
yet i can't cope with the fact.
the fact your presence may fade.
vanish without a trace.
except you'd still have that key.
the key that can unlock the darkness in my brain.

gone too soon—
you have lived all your life
making others happy.

now that I think about it
what a selfless person you are
always putting others needs before yours

you believed in me
more than i ever believed in myself
you were the one
who pushed me to reach my full potential

i wouldn't be the person i am today
and still be the shy girl I used to be  
if I didn’t have you in my life

i thank you for everything
you’re in a good place now
and you will surely be missed.

Tedious and tiring.  Arrayed before me like a king’s court, books open, but eyes on me.  ******* on the **** of my wisdom, absorbing little.  A lazy October sun peeks through the windows, highlighting the auburn hair of the girl in the front row...the one who sits, legs slyly parted, hoping I will notice her lace ******* and...
But no, I am sated and cannot rise to interest for her.  Silly thing, thinking her ****** and obvious try at seduction will rouse me. Yes, she is a pretty specimen, but I have a garden of such flowers. Wilted roses that give me no more pleasure.
Soon the bell will ring and these pathetic creatures will pour out the door and I will wait for the next herd, bored by their very existence.  I feel like a cowherd readying to lead the bored and boring cattle to sentient awareness, dim though it may be.  

I do not bother to look up.  There is no need - they are all the same.  I begin to lecture when there is an interruption.  Can these creatures not get to class on time?
Hoping to berate the latecomer, to vent my squirming spleen and make the day less cloying...  She is there...this new student.  This rose who must be in my garden of perfection.  Breath leaves my lungs and I am struck dumb.  I, who am strong and stalwart...a prime alpha male am rendered a stuttering child.
Her name - Rose McClellan.  My Rose.  She hands me her class card and chooses a desk far in the back.  My heart is beating loudly, my hands have a sheen of sweat.  Nothing about this day is ordinary now.

you are the strongest person i know
you've been through hell and you still stand
some days, it's hard for you to even breathe
it's hard for you to walk or stand without being so tired
and you still have the best attitude towards life
you make jokes with everyone
and there's always a smile on your face
you're so passionate about what you do
and you have never given up
you say you still want to do things
like skydive and bungee jumping
but you can't
and i'm so sorry
for some reason, i'm your favorite
i don't know why
i'm not the best artist
i'm not the best student
but i'm your favorite
and you tell everyone that
maybe it's because
we connected last year
the year i had millions of cuts
running up and down my arms
hurting myself in school bathrooms
and trying to **** myself in the woods behind my house
and you saw right through me
and you told me you were depressed
that you know what it feels like
and you still rise
you've been through worse pain than me
and my pain is nothing compared to yours
but we connected somehow
and i want to be just like you
to be able to push through the pain
to be able to smile when it hurts deep down
to be able to have a positive attitude towards life
even though it has stabbed you in the back so many times
i've never had a teacher i felt so close to

Sometimes when I miss you, I forget you are gone
When I see my love I give to others
When I see the extra mile I give
When I press on through my own emotion for them
--I think of you.
I catch myself turning for your face to find only memories.
I feel you touch my shoulder after every smile I make.
Now every time the world grows colder I will remember those last words you said to me
Your hearty laugh
your serious scowl
the gallons of black coffee you drank.
All seem like distant mirages that used to calm me so.
You've taught me to strive for better
that I can do more than love
And then you taught me the hardest lesson of all
--loss.

My world expands as time turns back,
A single glance into the past.
A sarcastic comment, the room does spark,
A cheeky smile plays the part.
A father figure my mind does see,
Someone to shield and encourage me.
A friend as well for trust does mold,
A joyful laugh, a heart of gold.
My thanks, I give with humbled grace,  
For the smile you place upon my face.
Like the golden star that morn’ does bring,
You thus compare to an eternal spring.
My teacher, my mentor, my father, my friend,
I hope our bond does never end.

-Raechel M. Krippner