I've been sinking
for a while now.

Day after day
I'm drowning;
gasping for
oxygen
that
my lungs
need to survive;
for my heart to beat;
and for my mind to live.

There's no one to pull me
out of the dark water
other but me
and it's killing me
to know that the only
person who can save me is
me, myself and I.

I'm kicking out
trashing my whole
body but still
I don't reach surface
and I won't anytime soon.

Buckets have been the only thing helping me drain my eyes that are full of tears

I almost hate the sight of running faucets
Running scared into my only closet

where the only peace I get is the darkest sleep

Years of tears drained into buckets from my eyes
almost feels like I'm never dry inside, please hold me so I can have peace of mind.

Green means go,
Red means stop
People only see,
Whats going on on *top

How my heart grasps for you, your thunderous breeze across the swept up pieces of my broken, maligned heart.

I do not want to write mere words to you, or scrape up mere feelings for you. Those belong on the surface.
I want to dig deep into myself and express the surrender I have for you

I've been here before, you know I have. And I left her stars in my poems but ultimately I did leave her; and you became my star. My sparkle of gold in the dark chasms of my being.
You are not lost to me.

I've been here before and I'm willing to stand here again, fight here again, endure here again because of who you are to me! We are not flimsy straw and fickle mist. We are steel and flame together. Sharp and burning.

My soul cries out for you, yet do not dwell on my miseries because you are not lost to me. You are not lost. Every tender kiss on your forehead, every night I hold you let's me keep fighting on for the day our hands interlock again.

*Close your eyes and feel beyond the surface.