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Rebecca H Feb 2018
stuck in an endless loop
of
*why am i never good enough?
i don't even remember what it's like to feel good anymore
Rebecca H Feb 2018
You were working weekdays and I was busy with school, so we made weekends our time.

We were inseparable, you and I. Two sides of the same coin. We would count down the days until Friday just because we could. We’d finally meet after five, horribly boring days and see each other face to face rather than via snapchat filters and goodnight-texts.

We would stay up all night just to get all the time we possibly could with each other. And when we finally would fall asleep it’d be entangled in each other’s arms, because not even sleep could do us apart.

We could drink ourselves silly if we wanted to, dancing in that god-awful apartment of yours that we both still loved and held so dearly.

Then, out of the blue, your feelings faded and the music stopped.

Now I drink wine on Wednesdays, forever left to wonder if you have a new girl in your apartment, doing our things on the weekends.
- how i feel after our breakup -
Rebecca H Dec 2017
I write,

not with a keyboard or
even an old-fashioned typewriter;
but with a quill
dipped in my blood.

What a lovely shade crimson is,
against rice-white paper.
- every word is written with my blood -
Rebecca H Oct 2017
Fragile but never
broken;
the clinking sound
of a harsh touch.

The knocks grow louder,
the glass never breaks.
This Glass Girl is
at home in her cage.
- I'm a glass girl: strong as a diamond -
Rebecca H Oct 2017
It’s a strange world we live in, I ironically realised - as I was dying.

I’ve lived. I’ve had the fortune of feeling; emotions either caressing my heart or ripping it to shreds; emotions who have either consumed me or left me numb.

And I’ve left my mark on this world. I’ve met so many people; people who I have loved, and have loved me. People I’ve hated, and have hated me back. People I have noticed, but have never noticed me. People who have noticed me, but I have never noticed them. People I’ve known, lived and laughed with. People I’ve fought with, who have left me either breathless with happiness or full of rage.

I was here. I have lived. I have loved - and I have left.
C’est la vie
Rebecca H Sep 2017
We've been warned of bad people
ever since we were little.
We've all learned that we shouldn't trust
a creepy man who offers candy if you'll only get into his truck.

But nobody's ever warned us of

The boys with dangerously glittering eyes,
who will pepper you with affection only to
put a bullet in your heart.

Nobody's ever warned us of

The girls wearing mean smirks like armour,
who will laugh at you when you walk by and
make you feel so insecure.

Nobody's ever warned us of

The wounds that were bound to open in our chests,
which won't disappear in an instant
if at all.

Nobody's ever warned us of

ourselves.
- there are some things people will never tell you -
Rebecca H Sep 2017
When we got together I quickly learned that
he liked to fix things;
whether it be cars, toys or even people.

But I didn't need fixing.

So he peeled me apart,
petal after petal,
until I was no more than broken glass on the floor.

Then, he started stitching.

Where he had ripped me at the seams he
sewed my wounds together and glued the pieces back
until he was satisfied.

He was done knitting.

What I forgot to mention was
that he'd always grow bored a short while later
so he eventually left me for somebody else

*"who needed fixing."
- he called himself a mechanic but in reality he only destroyed -
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