Today, lets enjoy the simple pleasures  
Whilst disregarding the morning luminosity
when the city wakes, our impulse to be fainéant grows
a comfortable silence, filled with slow music at a moderate level
whilst slowly turning pages of a book, dismiss time and live in the moment.
~Sunday

If I was the kind of girl who kept her thoughts to herself,
If I could bite my tongue and bat my eyes without thinking so far ahead,
If I knew how to dip my toes in the water without drowning in affection,
If I were made to be subtle and delicate,
maybe it would be easier to find someone to lay beside on Sunday morning.
But why would I want a boy who only loves the watered-down version of me?
I'd rather spend my life in solitude
than beside someone who only wants me on the shallow end.

I find a small comfort in those slow Sunday afternoons
when time moves like thick molasses,
the sun shines through my window
and fills me with warmth
when the universe feels so much bigger than me,
and you,
and all of this.
I can rest easy,
curl up into a blanket of safety,
knowing that nothing I do matters.
The things I choose to do or not do will not alter the course of the universe,
will not be significant beyond my own small corner of space and time.
The joy I find in the curl of my hair,
or the comfort of this chair,
matter only because I matter to me.

Sundays are meant for relaxation

But yet we still have the stress of Monday

Sundays are when you're supposed to be rested

But we're all exhausted

Even though Sunday is terrible

We always have a cup of coffee to help get us through

Sunday morning,
and the sun is peaking through the blinds
after a long sleepless night.

The monster that hung over my head all night
is sticking around for the light, it seems,
and it is scaring my Pothos'.

As they wilt,
I am changing the song that's playing,
It's too haunting, too obvious.

An old friend, this specter has become.
I laugh as he spills my coffee.

I am alone.
Personal. My humble abode.
Only with my permission to enter my home.
I am lonely.
I like to be lonely, be one and only.
Company is hard to come by unless you show me.
I am alone.
Always fighting demons, and secrets.
When I say I'm tired, I mean it.
I don't want to entertain anymore.
My energy needs to be restored.
Let me sleep, please.
Just let me sleep.
I'd rather be alone.
I'd rather be lonely.
Then be with someone who makes me die slowly.

...or--what?



(sonnet #MMMMMMMCDXXXII)


Rain trips so lightly in the hallowed sense
Of keener silence listning to that frail
Step traffic rushes heedless through.  Birds hail
With merry notes and fragile, as from hence
Lo, crickets murmer like for all intents
The solemn ghost of patience walks here, pale
As Sunday's dimmer eye.  Clouds' masque the veil
Oer all, an airplane's voice sifts through, and whence?
Oh! how the maples' boughs rock, tinged as twere
By orange' first warnings of that rendezvous
With Death.  Winds caller as they whisper through
This calm, wool, tights, and tweed now, are not poor.
And if I mourn that I've ne lover fer
Whatever, somehow even that's not new.

07Oct18a

We're both sweating
As the fan blows over
Our naked bodies
The air conditioner is broken
And we can't beat the heat
So we create our own

Passion between the sheets
"I love you so much"
You whisper in my ear
I close my eyes
To prevent the tears
But bring you closer
As we ******
And try to breathe
While I gasp,
"I love you too"

I hold your stomach
Hugging you tight
Kissing your belly button
Looking up into your eyes
You sit down and hold me
So I can bury my head
Into your stubbly, curly chest

"It's okay,"
"You can cry if you want to,"
You tell me
As I breathe heavily
Unsure of why
I'm even crying in the first place
You kiss my cheeks
After wiping away my tears
With your beautiful brown thumbs
I can't help but cry more
With every peck from your lips

You pour me sparkling cider
And kiss the raspberry apple bubbles
Off my lips
I try to stop crying
As I tell you
I love you
As I tell you
How important you are to me
But I'm drunk in love
And the tears keep falling
So you keep kissing them away
As you tell me it's okay to cry

Who am I?
What makes me so special?
To be loved in this world
To be loved in a time like this
When everyone is full of hate
And nobody can find it
In their black hearts
To be kind to anyone?
Who am I?
What makes me so special?
So worthy of love
When I'm just a nobody
Just a small speck of dust
In an endless wave of sand
A little pebble
On the bottom of the ocean
A tiny snowflake
In a blinding blizzard
Who am I?
What makes me so ******* special?
When nothing in this world
Seems special at all
Except the concept of love itself
Because it's so rare