you you you
my mind is clouded of you.

and it’s suffocating me to the
point where i can no longer breathe.

but i just wish you could reciprocate
these crushed emotions that flutter

through my heart and pound on my
ribcage like a wild animal.

I can't seem to catch my breath
it's always one step ahead
Slipping through the cracks of the walls
whilst I'm stuck to the floor.
My thoughts dance around and around,
summoning the rain cloud that looms above my head.
I want to get better but I don't see how
as my eyes have added a constant filter to the world,
allowing me only to see the bad.
I wish that someone could come and save me from myself.

I began carrying my regrets with me,
stuffed into plastic bags.

A heavy drag on my shoulders,
handles digging into my palms.

At least it would be easy to suffocate myself with them.

I feel like a beakless baby bird
       Suffocating in it's egg; it's womb,it's tomb.

“Please, I am drowning. I am suffocating. I am fading. This is my plea for help that breezes on your skin ever so silently. There is only darkness. There is nothing. No one. You tell me you’re there, but I can’t see you. You tell me you’re there to listen, but there is no ear. You tell me you are going to stay, but I see you leaving. Is it because it is too much for you?
You’re going through nothing. You’re life is perfect. You’re going to be fine. It doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels heavy. Heavy on the mind and heart. Scarring and wounding. Re-wounding and never healing. It’s not nothing. It is more than something. And maybe it would be fine if you .

You know
I'm as scared of the future as anyone else is
What else is there to say? I've got fears like any other being
There but for the grace of God go I
Again into the unknown
I wish I knew how or what to say
To those that mean well, but won't let me go my way
On my own path into the sun
Sink or swim it's my life to live
Leave it be
Stop it please
Stop with the ether soaked rag you call good intentions

Stop suffocating me

I slipped

I slipped and fell so fast,
It was embarrassing.
You laughed asking if I was okay,
But no I just fall over things.

My biggest fall was for you.

It didn't hurt at first,
I didn't realise it quick,
Until your smile was my world,
Without it, it was sick.

There was a drop.

So fast and low,
My love for you found no bounds,
I didn't think to let you go.

I fell

I fell so fast and deep,
Your eyes suffocating me,
Now I must give what I keep,
Ending love what needed to be free.