i won't forget,
when i cried you just looked at me
and what a silly heart of mine is—
it kept thinking,
you will pick those tears for me
and say 'i am here for you'
but you were just standing in front of me
like a stranger

When I first met you,
I had yet to face you..

Memories dug deep,
Presented as a heap..

Resemblance of me,
Your semblance deceived..

Ungrateful eyes,
And a fateful life..

Stories untold,
And memories unfold..

A gaze and a stare,
Within the rage and despair..

Two strangers meet,
And sane they leave..

To horizons unseen,
And boundaries within..

the words sound strange coming out of my mouth and out into my dark room where i look at myself and try to move on. “i’ll love you forever stranger” i say to my reflection as though i am actually talking to the stranger i see in my dreams at night. the stranger that looks so familiar, but i know is not the same. “i’ll love you forever stranger” not because i am in love with this stranger, but rather he holds a piece of my heart forever. “i’ll love you forever stranger” i say this with sorrow because i know i will never get to say it to his face. that stranger that i used to know. the stranger i used to laugh with. the stranger with the lips i used to kiss. “i’ll love you forever stranger,” i say because it is the only thing that is bringing me comfort with the fact that i will never get to know him again. the stranger i used to know so well, he became a stranger that started ripping my heart into pieces and leaving me to clean it up. “i’ll love you forever stranger” i say, because i know in my heart that the person i fell in love with does not exist anymore.

It’s early,
shutters yawn open
drawing in an already spirited sun.

I reluctantly roam
an unchartered narrow maze
of whitewashed walls.

Fingers squeeze
a mint mil Pesetas banknote
and list, written in my mother’s
stern and starchy hand.

I am the outsider,
inside and out.

I inhale
pine dust, bins and septic tanks,
I exhale
a huff of childhood hopelessness.

Shadows startle me
with machine gun Catalan.

I didn’t hear the rumble of the water truck.
Didn’t look right when I crossed the road.
Didn’t thank the stranger who saved me,

until now.

On the bus ride home
I woke up
with my face resting
against the shoulder
of a stranger.

You are not here
and I am so alone.
I feel like making love
with you my new stranger.
I am waiting for you.
When are you coming?