I miss the weight of "I love you"
The gentle pull, the soft breakthrough,
A phrase once whispered, raw, sincere,
Now scattered wide, to all who hear

I cast it out, a fragile charm,
A whispered warmth, a healing balm
To strangers, friends, and passing souls,
To mend the gaps, to patch the holes

It’s not a lie, but not the same,
It lacks the spark, the tender flame
Yet still, it blooms in passing hearts,
A love reborn in scattered parts

Perhaps in giving, I will find,
The echoes of a heart aligned
Until that day, I’ll let it flow,
To bloom in places I may not know

Love, the word I used to hate
Bitterness was sweet
Not until dozen of candies
Tasty bounds becomes great
Mind becomes imaginative
Fantasizing everywhere.
As I turn stranger to my lover.

you are a stranger,
my vessel.

i see you,
stranger,
in the mirror.

and i am another,
taken up residence
in your psyche.

stranger of mine,
i stir in your skull.

We were here before;

then, like blind people, we didn't --


notice each other.

don’t be a stranger he said to me,
strange how i feel like a stranger
speaking my own words, telling my own stories.
strange how i feel paralyzed,
strange how my muscles don’t move out of habit,
strange how i’m lonely in my own mind.
don’t be a stranger he said to me,
even stranger that i feel grateful
for something so minuscule.
strange how once i was lost
and couldn’t comprehend being found.
even stranger how someone’s once kind words became daggers,
myself being the one to make them as such.
don’t be a stranger he said to me,
the strangest thing since i feel so weak.
every week,
a reminder that my thoughts aren’t pretty, my love not craved.
the strangest thing is i cannot carry the world,
as silly as it sounds, i know.
the strangest thing is i expect superhuman out of myself
when i expect nothing out of everyone else.
don’t be a stranger he said to me,
don’t be a passerby on the road, putting your head down as you move by.
don’t be afraid to show someone you love them,
don’t be afraid to take life by the reins and make yourself matter,
don’t be embarrassed of the love you are giving, of the kindness you are gifting,
don’t be alone when you know someone deeply cares for your calls,
don’t shove and sulk and make a mess,
don’t make yourself feel sorry for yourself,
don’t die alone,
don’t exit with silence,
don’t regret what you feel,
don’t think your life was anyone’s mistake,
don’t be a stranger.
please, i beg.

today I drank my coffee alone
they sky was grey
it was neither hot nor cold
the cafe was noisy
and my latte was strong

today I briefly felt alive
a stranger talked to me
he was Hungarian,
but nice
we had a laugh
and I looked over his CV

today I was in town
and the barista smiled at me

my hair was messy
my brain was foggy
but we had a good time
I, my coffee and me.

I met him at a dust-bowl bus station
In Mobile, where buses wore dust trail capes.
Roaches clicked in the water fountain basin.

With charisma he denounced
The muddled spray of birth and spring,
The spermy apocalypse brought forth by an
Army of mad babies with syphilis-splintered brains.

He had gambled for three nights,
Wonder and reason backing his chips —
Small blind, big blind.
He had the shoulders of a man who locks the door
And hides the key — an invisible traveling carnival
Trailed his gait on a pace-worn floor.

Bed bugs had made Braille of his arm.
He was going off to a camp south of Cabbage Town
Where he would sweat beneath the sun,
Surrender beneath the stars,
And dream of the ten women he’d made.

He told me he hated knowing he was in control,
And that it was the saddest part of the darkest hour.

i met another stranger tonight.
in the shadows of online chat rooms,
it’s been two hours and we’re convinced we’re in love.
inappropriate photos and
a suicide pact later,
we’ll never speak again.
though i’ll text the stranger in the morning
but it’ll be in the afternoon where they are.