it began with the fingers of day  

parting the dark and cold to reveal
fresh and green succulent cruelties  
arousing one’s appetite the desire:  

to be a blind witness
in how your absence  
bleach color and bleed form.  

to be deaf to wind fall fail  
find their morning melodies
for without your voice  
there can be no song.  

a brand new day in the season of waiting  
until you would arrive in sight or hearing.  

but now i no longer count the ways
i gather the body of each day  
to join the corpses of yesterday:  

there is only this, and every night,
among promises written with salt or in sand,
a cancer without end, or cure
eating me up while i endure.

from infernal tongues devouring
wood and concrete edifices,
to the brief yet joyful life spark
from a match lit as if to breathe
soft and tender so that a solitary candle
may flame a vigil against cold and night,
i have seen and endured those lips,
yet none proved to be a feast
more than the fires of friendship
like the one we named ours:

solitary embers fated to a lifetime of wait
until we allowed them to share names,
speak secrets and whispers desires,
fingers like the poles of stars
joined together as it peeled away the covers
wrapping our pains, tragedies, and shames.

yet even as i desired for each grain of sand
be allowed to trace the shape of our feet
while shore and sea lined each kiss,
i did not forget the fate of fires.

even now i can still feel the warmth
as if your hand was still pressed
against my own, ghost friction
from the fiction of our devotion
i now allow the wind to claim
for it flows into them, by their names,
to scatter these ashes away.

They said, people are strange,
When you're a stranger
They knew, and people get even
Even stranger once you dive into them
Once familiarity becomes so familiar, it irks
They pierce into your mind
Straws of trust, and leech out every bit of you
Your essence must evaporate
In the drought of love and kindness

People are strange
They crave for colour to fill up their lives
but never to seep into their skin
They want a rich friend, a poor one as much
A girl, a boy, transgender, gay, bisexual, asexual
But a lover, only as conditioning and the general tainted view of the world permits

People are strange
They say blood is thicker than water
But blood is poisoned and water
It needs distillation
They say they love when they don't
And nothing when they do
They say a lot of things
That only confuse

People are strange
All for love, no to hate
Until of course, higher motives surface
One heartbreak, all men are Gates of Defecation
One attack, entire fraternity blamed
One moment of broken trust,
A million of murdering reason

People are strange
No matter who you are
And yet, you fall in love
Because people are strange

Isn't it strange how strangers
Aren't at all strange
And "friends" and "family" are the ones
Providing you with the dangers?

In this town, I am a stranger,
Around the shops, I am a ranger,
I study the crowds, no immediate danger,
Glitzy shops, such strange lands,
Consumerism not so grand,
Around these shops, I am a ranger,
In strange lands, I am a stranger............

The night weighs on me...
Its hands intwined in deepest parts of mine.
Choking crushing madness.
Seemingly screaming,
Dreaming of monstrous delights.

Twisted corpses
Of loves long gone
Call from across the room
As I stare
And stare
Until my heart breaks in two
Unable to glance away;
Unable to meet your gaze.
You're such a shapeless shell
Of days since past,
Having lost your substance to time
And belittled feelings
As I stand
Motionless,
Petrified.
I am but a pair of eyes now,
a shattered soul-
Still hoping,
Still wondering
If all I ever loved was a lie,
A cruel farce you'd never admit.
I cannot bear your cutting words,
Your effervescent laughter,
As you live a life renewed;
As I linger,
Wistful,
In your wake.
I'm bleeding inside,
These wounds too fresh to cauterize,
Your vision too much to bear
In the aftermath of our destruction,
The clanging bells of calamity
Still ringing in my shellshocked ears-
I struggle to find meaning
In the caustic remnants
you left me to puzzle over;
The scattered pieces of reasoning
That will never add up to a whole picture,
A sane answer.
Scorched and hollowed,
I can't bear this sight any longer,
As my heart smolders with hatred
And thoughts of revenge,
Consuming me
As though I were tied to the stake
That you deserve to burn on instead.
Come now,
Let's end this-
This dance of charades,
This play of puppets and toys-
I'm not your plaything anymore,
And I deserve the happiness
That you sought to steal for yourself.
Come now,
Let's accept it,
These sad monuments that you've erected
From upon your mighty throne,
The confusion you bestowed
When you left me all alone.
After all,
Fate had no say in this,
No approval to grant,
To this end-
You and I both know
You only have yourself to blame.