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-Haiku

Sticks and Stones break bones

But words can be quite lethal

Just remember that

-R.

They'll tear you apart
And still you won't care.
You'll do as you're told
In that thing you wear.

You won't ever see
Them when they do.
It's too much to look
And know that it's you.

So just close your eyes
This won't hurt a bit.
Before you count ten
They'll be through with it.

I have tattoos all over my body but you can't see them all.
They are the words that everyone has ever used against me permanently embedded into my skin.
The judging stares and wandering eyes that make me want to cover my body and hide away.
If you could see them you wouldn't look at me the same ever again.

Heartless- Bold and Italicized across my chest.
Regret- Hidden behind the back of my neck
Fat- Underlined across my stomach
Desperate- Beautifully written between my thighs
Lonely, Pathetic- split between my wrists

The words you keep saying, the words you pretend you don't mean are covering me.
The hatred I feel towards myself can never be fully seen.
If I even opened myself up just little more for you too see you would look away with pity and shame.

Remember this the next time you tell me you regret having me.
Remember this the next time you tell me I am heartless or fat or ugly.
Remember this the next time you tell me my self esteem has ruined my relationships.

Because just beneath the surface lies the art that isn't shown to the world.

It was of sticks and stones,
They shaped the words
That leave my breathless lips
And catch on the ends of your ears.

It was of moths and flames,
They guided my hopeful eyes
To the cracked sidewalks
That I would soon know as home.

It was of strings and tan paper,
They wrapped my heart
Like a present you didn't want to receive
But you accepted with a slim smile anyway.

It was of mist and fog,
That filled my clouded lungs
And drowned out my words
So they could never hang on the lobes of your ears.

But I like a mountain in the wind
Let you breeze past me,
The scent of warm blankets and hot rod cars
Passed with you

But your breeze whispered to me
At once the mist and fog cleared
And the moths receded from the flames
And the stones felt like mere pebbles

Must we hurt ourselves
Diving into the fray?
Must we **** ourselves
Hoping in misery?

Shall we beat ourselves
On being an imbecile?
Shall we treat ourselves
Lower than we feel?

Shall we pick roses
Thorns and bladed leaves
Blood-red colors in corsets
Of Pain and Lust that lives

The year is slowly coming to an end
All i can think of is how that night ended
A month once the clock ticks twelve
Will these feelings be ever reciprocated
Or it will forever be one sided