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Nicole Dawn May 2015
Put on your costume,
And throw on your mask.
You've got to fit in.
It's your life's only task.

Don't ever be yourself.
That's far too lame.
You're simply too strange.
Let's all be the same.

Cut slits in your arms,
And starve yourself thin.
No matter the cost,
You have to fit in.

No one cares about you.
Who cares about joy?
Just make sure you're pretty,
To get the right boy.

Listen to their taunts,
And correct your mistakes.
Pretend you are smiling,
Ignore the "small" aches.

And when you are done,
Just go find a rope.
For we live in a world,
Where no one can cope.
I wrote this as 2 different poems because that way one of them is less of a downer.
Ember Evanescent Feb 2015
I try so hard to be beautiful
If you only knew
But there is nothing beautiful
About the things I do

I try to be less so I can feel like I'm more
But does the number on the scale even matter anymore?

I'm promising and promising I ate before I came
But these pretty little lies are driving even me insane

And if you can't see through my smile
If you can't figure it out
I'm slowly killing myself
From the inside out
This was way back in grade 9 when I was very alone and very... well, I wasn't healthy in the mind. I'm better now. Usually I'm lying about that, but this time I ACTUALLY am. Seriously, I eat too much chocolate now. :P
Dark Smile Feb 2015
Because when I was 4, my mom told me that I could not like blue because it was a 'boy' colour.  
Because when I was 5, the kids at kindergarten made fun of me for my 'boy' hairstyle.
Because when I was 6, dad refused to buy me a toy car because it is a 'boy' toy. He got me a Barbie doll. 'Good for girls,' he said.
Because when I was 7, my teacher scolded my for my 'boy' handwriting.
Because when I was 8,after a bad fall, my mom lamented that I would never be able to wear a skirt, instead of asking if I was ok.
Because when I was 9 I watched as my relatives mocked my male cousin for cooking. "Leave it to the women" they said.
Because when I was 10, I was told that I ran like a girl. 'But I am a girl', I said. They laughed at my innocence.
Because when I was 11, I was warned my my mother that I would be too fat to be loved. As though his love had to be spread all over my fats.
Because when I was 12, puberty started and the acne set in. It was my mom's worst nightmare.
Because when I was 13, my mom reemphasised that I was too fat to be loved. I felt like ****.
Because when I was 14, I starved myself so that I would be beautiful. I did look like a 'proper girl', my parents agreed.
Because when I was 15, the stress of impending national exams got to me and my hair started to fall out. My mom prayed for my soul, and my scalp.
Because when I was 16, in the car 37 minutes ago. My mom scolded me for my acne scars, saying that I was too scarred to ever get a job, or a husband. Most importantly a husband.
Because gender roles affect us all, male or female. Stop labelling people.
Sierra Nov 2014
I have a problem

I crave it
That empty feeling
In my stomach
In my soul

During this manic episode
It occurs to me
That the darkness
Is my home
My home I can't leave

I want to be happy
But my demons have taken over
They make me crave darkness
They make me starve
Physically
Emotionally

s.j.d
Who cares anyway Nov 2014
All I do is hide
Until you appear
Stand up with pride
Don't dare to shed a tear

"She's so much better than you,"
I throw up dinner
"You're obviously not going to medical school..."
At least I'm thinner

"Stop being so annoying!"
Turn to the blade
"Such a disappointment..."
I'm starting to fade

I find the comfort in these things
That you could not provide
Was it really that hard?
I don't know, all I do is hide
The fridge light spills out onto the tiles
A voice rings out, loud
*Have something healthy if you're going to eat *
A tight smile  Oh no
I'm not hungry at all

A carton, a glass
And the demon in my stomach tries to claw out again
Chalsey Wilder Oct 2014
I stare at myself in the mirror a long time
Wondering why I'm here and not out living my prime
The girl under this make-up, lost and forgotten, she always wears this mask that covers her mass destruction
She destroyed herself to make herself feel loved
She starved herself
She purged herself of everything society saw bad
She covered up her insecurities with concealer and mascara
She put on a smile to cover her frown
She covered every bit of herself up and suffocated her slowly
Now the girl in the mirror, she's always remembered, but the girl under her body and personality mask is now lost and forgotten
just a girl Jul 2014
Ana
she stands here
with her back against the wall
she helps me lock my door
when i'm crouched on all four

it's just a diet
keep it quiet
my problems lay in numbers
medical language wont help me here

leave it alone
i'll do this on my own
dont tell me it's dangerous
cuase i'm allready painless

**(c.m.h)
poem about ANA (in my case she is called Maya)
Akemi Jun 2014
it’s hard
to hear you
brushing against
sleeves so thin

empty bites
ringing through
the silence
of wasting hips

i’m too scared
if i reach out
your frame will
dissipate

flee through skin
translucent
taking too much
...space
1:44am, June 18th 2014

I wish I knew how to help you.

Inspired by: http://wearearmsandsleepers.bandcamp.com/track/the-dying-animal
Tonight, the dark feeds with splintered teeth,
The moon a bloated glutton, spitting light like shards of bone
Through corpse-grey, carrion clouds.
The night feeds and I shrink.
My dreams are dessicated,
All desire ****** dry, the marrow of me mourns
For the incarnation of before.
I was plump, proud, succulent, I lived
for the delights of the night, but now
the stars themselves spew from the sky
Like the ***** of a long neglected, hobo God.
Tonight, the dark feeds with splintered teeth,
All are devoured, we are an amuse-bouche
For who? For what? And *why?
Thought I'd try something a little macabre!
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