Spinning like a red rubber ball
that bounces and careens
off a hard, brick wall--
I land on the floor
and spin and spin
for hell hath wrought
the fury without and within
and the danger lurks
just around the bend
I hope and pray
the world doesn't end...
(but I doubt that it will--
so I'll continue to spin)...

The weight,
The strength.

It pushes down, crushing my inside.
I struggle to breath,
every breath 100 pounds are added to my chest.

Pressure builds up,
Dizziness begins,
Anxiety sky rockets.

The room is spinning,
Why is the room spinning?

My legs are shaking, I'm destroying my lip
Why can't I sit still?

Whoa, my head feels funny.
Why did that start?

I'm uncomfortable, I'm shaking.
Does anyone notice? God, I hope not.

The pressure, more intense.
Nausea increases,
My insides twist and turn.

I clench my fists,
Am I angry?
What's going on?

I'm tired...
I feel my heavy eyelids start to pull down.
I close my eyes,

but the room,
it spins faster than before.
My thoughts, my actions, myself...

It repeats
**I am never at peace

I love you
Even I try to be numb
When I don't wanna feel
I still feel that love
My head is dizzy
My stomachs upset
And my cheeks are wet
The room is spinning
Nothing can make it go away
Now I'm crying
Because it seems like you can push it away
I can't
I always know I love you
Even when I don't wanna feel
I still feel that love
I always love you
Even when I wanna be numb
The only thing I can feel
Is the love I have for you

It's amazing how much living you can miss out on with a simple polite refusal.
In an instant you must jump off the carousel
Landing among the infinite paths that intersect into oblivion
That instant you jump can feel like a lifetime, but do not weigh it as such
To dwell on a single leap is to miss the opportunity still ahead.

Just jump with confidence
Confidence instilled by knowing that wherever you may land,
happiness or not, you are always one chance, one jump away from that happiness.

The carousel is spinning to fast to jump back on.
So never regret the jump you made, for it is gone.
Spinning into oblivion with the jumps not taken.
And there is no way of getting it back,
But why would you want it.
Next jump, Happiness.

I was put on this merry go round. I did not coose to take this ride. Now we are spinning. Faster. The World is spinning and I am still. The kids push harder and the world whizzes over my shoulder. Shouts of joy and laughter. A boy is crying and clinging the bars. Faster. Spinning spinnning out of sight. The boy cries louder. I want to get off, but the world is dizzier and dizzier the louder he cries. Spinning. Life is twisting. I want to get off. I didn't ask for the ride. I desperately want to let go of the bars and jump into that swirl of the world. I want solid ground. I will jump. My focus fades as quick as the flashes of the world around me. Spinning. Now I'm dizzy. So dizzy and the spinning is... I want to get off. I am going to jump. I brace myself but the boy is crying. So much crying. Why won't they STOP? And I just want to jump off the spinning circle but he just keeps crying and they are laughing. I want to get off but I can't stop crying. The world is spinning and I can't even move.

everything is spinning again
and i've forgotten how to make it stop.

Thoughts never left unfelt;
words never left unthought,
torturing the mind they cannot escape.
Illusive, yet demanding to be spoken.

Breaking, hiding, running at impossible speed
in fear of the coming storm.
The syllables are sprinting
while utterances bevel behind boarded windows

The mind turned against itself;
feelings turned against their maker,
while the dark rains, drowning rains, are pouring.
The intracranial hurricane forces itself through the ruins.

Treacherous, turbulent storm a’brewing
Discolored and tornadoing
through the mind’s hills and valleys.
Unorganized and unrelenting.

The cycle has started
Its set to wash
but everything is so FILTHY
Everything in life cycles
Spinning slowly
Slightly misshapen circles
Nothing and everything's perfect
It's in the eye of the beholder
Not sureWE CAN COMPREHEND 100%
So much lost between the lines


Double spaced
All these layers
Not sure if we can cope with the answer
Maybe questioning is the answer
for all is one
and we are god
We make or own reality
but it seems it's now blocked by this technology
Slightly misshapen circles
Over circles forming bigger circles
They may seem perfect in some eyes
They say circles within circles represent power
The chalice the gift of life
Drinking from the breast of a broken society

what a feeling; when everything adds up.
when the fog clears and you see where you stand.
when the lights come on at the club and you see everyones face.
when you open your mcdonalds bag to find the wrong order.
when you get that test back and you got a C
when you order sprite and it ends up being water
when i jump in the ocean and its still a couple weeks early
when you realize youre not enough for someone, but you could be everything to someone new