"I'll quit tomorrow"
Say once again
I spoke those words yesterday too
Would take the easy route out of this
No shortcuts in Hell-I must go through
An excuse not to surfaces
Legitimate or not
Before I know it repeating mistakes
Hit after hit
Shot after shot
Of the places I've visited
Don't think I have ever reached one quite so low
Seeking whatever fleeting remedy
Leaves the least room to grow
You've got to wonder why I make these decisions
Swearing that "this time" I'm done
Got my back pressed against a concrete slab
Simply isn't anywhere else to run
Maybe I have gotten used to the fire
Been so long since my universe went up in flames
May be difficult to see through the smoke
At least that way there's a scapegoat to blame
I cannot claim I don't know any better
After two or three times learned getting sick
Regardless how many nights spent fighting withdrawals
Sobriety never seems to stick
Maybe I should give up on this battle
Surrender war and wave a flag of white
Let demons have their way with my soul
Accept that I'll never be alright
I am exhausted sprinting in circles
Find myself in the exact same place
Watching world spin around me so fast
While own life I only waste

"Last thing I remember was being in
This death spiral tail spin
A nightmare I woke up still in
My question?
Why then
Should I bother to wake up again?
Does anyone have a good explanation
Nearing even a distant point of reason?"
He asked in desperation

©2024

My head spins
My heart aches

Once again
Again and again

My stomach burns
My blood boils
I never learn

Once again
Again and again

Alone i sit

Once again
Again and again

Searching
Only to find
This pain you left behind

Once again
Again and again

She's starting the motor on her mouth
Revving it up a little bit
Engine-powered phrases spin out
Accelerating with each word lips spit

Sometimes my chest starts to hurt like a car is crushing me, choking the life out of my fragile body, and running me over and over and over again and again and again

And sometimes my hands start to shake like I’m old and can’t control my body and I can’t control it and I can’t stop and it just keeps going and going and going and going over and over and over again and again and again

And my head starts to spin and I think to myself “I’m dying” and I look around and see people talking but I can’t hear a thing and I can’t catch my breath and I can’t breathe and I gasp and I can’t breathe and I can’t catch my breath and I gasp and I think to myself “I’m dying”

And as I stand there with my chest hurting and my hands shaking and my head spinning and as I think I’m dying I start to hear over the commotion in my brain and I make out from all the noise someone saying “everything is going to be ok”

And all of a sudden I take a deep breath and as I breathe in a little bit of peace, I breathe out all of the tension and fog and mess and the repetition and the cycle of hell that my body just experienced

And I realize

Everything might be ok

And after a few moments

I can breathe again

And after a few moments, I wipe the tears from my eyes and stand up

And after a few moments

I’m ok

Somewhere in time!
Come back to me.
My love
Two minds one single thought
Two hearts one single beat
Thats is still us dear
I love thee rdd-Jpc
"I still exist" twin flame yee
did write entailing all this.

As the world bends it loops.
I find thine sylhuette dancing
hobbering around me.
Looping me back to life
Yee never left me beloveth pc
Thanks for waking me up
For watching over me rdd

"Each night before I go to sleep, not knowing if I shall wake up ever again,
but with your name in my lips I see the sunshine
again and again.!" PC-Rk.

I love thee so much
I think of thine courage
love brain heart, grace,
It all defines me within

In thine arms forever
I remain to part never
My Angel guardián
yee have saved me sweet P.
Yee bit the apple yee love me

This love I have shared
With human predators, wolves, boys beggards
enemies poets and kings.

But allmy travels spin me back into thy loving kindness and wise patient love's serenity.
whence happily ever after

I, i, still exist.
~~~~~~