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Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
Everyone tells me to let you go
It does no good to remain in the past
It's hard to leave behind the only thing
I believed could ever last
Don't live in the past
Amanda Kay Burke Sep 2018
I am difficult most days
I'm guessing because I'm a mess
Eats me up to know I'm damaging
People close get hurt and I am distressed

I cannot take their advice
Or tell the truth so instead
I silently float in a pool of omission
At the bottom scribbled words unsaid

Desperately trying to hide and deny
Dysfunction under a thin cloak of happiness
Like fireflies in the cool evening wind
Each smile fizzles out giving way to darkness
I have actually never seen a firefly in person because we don't have them up here in Alaska
Àŧùl Sep 2018
I own your body,
I own your soul,
The one that owns your sorrows and gives you happiness,
I am that ethereal ghoul.
My HP Poem #1717
©Atul Kaushal
stargazer Jul 2018
Someone hands me a problem
All wrapped in distress
Packaged in pain
"Can you carry this"

I see the hurt in their eyes
From carrying everything so long
I take the parcel with a smile
"Don't worry at all"

"Can you carry this?"
Another asks
Holding out a bag of sorrow
Laced with depression

"Of course"
I say
Without another thought

They relax
As the pack goes from their back
To mine

I sink lower to the ground

"Can you carry this"
Holding out a burden of self resentment
Tied with a ribbon of anxiety

"Definitely"
A little more won't **** me

The burden is set down on my shoulders
I get a little heavier
My bones aching with the weight
My feet digging cracks in the pavement

I paste a smile on my face

Then you come around
"Can you carry this?"

I took one look in your eyes
"Yes"

Your sack was the heaviest of them all
Grief
Shame
Heartache
Anguish
Torture

My very essence trembled
Under the weight
Of your burden

I was close to the breaking point

But you needed me,
So I carried on

Pretending that I could bear it all
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
Caught a few tears before they hit the ground
I sit and let them fall from my eyes
Soon face will be red, lids puffy like clouds
They remain that way after each drop dries.

I am attached to the habits that hurt me
Falling in love, sight of blood, and drugs to name a few
Darkness regardless of outside forces constantly stalks
Got caught in its mystery, it knocked my life askew.

I do not think it will leave my side
It follows, a second shadow
Growing used to this presence filling days
I no longer fight or resist my unyielding foe.

Even in empty misery
I find comfort in knowing whatever the amount
It is the only constant I can rely on in this bitter world
Lived with lonely despair too long to count.

Words are pouring out of my eyes
No life, no sound, can reach voice
Love and pain keep trickling down my face
Anguish I'm feeling didn't come by choice.
Why would I want to be unhappy?
Kim Essary Jun 2018
Thirteen long years spent under his thumb. Sixteen years old is when this begun.
I thought I was in love , now I know I should have left after the first shove.
I stayed instead, chalking it up as one too many drinks,. Time went on only getting worse, as I got pregnant with his child.  The control he had over me was more than mild. It was a push and a shove pulling my hair but worse than that was the emotional abuse he just didn't care.
The longer I stayed the worse it got , now there was another life I had to protect.
My story goes on for around 10 more years , another baby  with him and many hidden tears .
Please don't judge others by what you may see because behind those closed doors is a scarred and scorn woman that wants to be free .
Free from the abuse she gets everyday the threats of him taking her life away . The fear of what would happen to her children if he snapped and did what he said, The fear she feels laying beside  a monster in her bed, the fear that her children will grow up to believe that abuse is ok because that's all they see ,
So this is a sickness a disease, to treat any human so inhumane,
I don't look for pitty but hope someone out there reads this and it changes their life.  You see , I am not a Victom but I am a true Survivor of Domestic Violence you may not be as lucky as me if you stay I promise you you don't have to do anything else just get away .  
© kimmied 1105
13 years of emotional and physical abuse I was lucky to make it out alive. If you are going through any of this please know you will survive but he will never change .
Amanda Kay Burke Jun 2018
I have been drinking too much to write you a song
Downed too many drinks to say I care
Because when sober the pain becomes
Far too much for me to bear

I've been drowning sorrows in alcohol
Numbing the hurt night after night
I want to tell you I love you
I've been drinking too much to write
Written 6/10/13
Sarah Rodríguez May 2018
People say love is a house that you walk in to when you are lost, but love is more like the choppy sea you sail on with the person you love being the lighthouse that could lead you into the rocks, but trust them to lead you to the shore.

Sadly my love pushed me into the rocks and left me lying on the beach to starve, picked me up to rock me to sleep, forced rocks down my throat to then throw me into the waves to watch me drown.
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