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stargazer Aug 7
the leaves fall in fall
is it really that simple?
they change color too
wrote this in middle school and i think this is the closest to enlightenment as i'll ever get
the absence
of a photograph
a hole the shade of skin
a family all smiles
but one does not fit in
a paper tear,
a paper teardrop
stains the film
something gone
that should be
someone missing
that shouldn't be?
a ripped reality
peering through the tinted glass
for something you can't see
a blurry fragment
of both
one of my drafts! it's been awhile huh :)
  Oct 2020 stargazer
whose voice will you read my poems in
after my bones have long been lying in my own second hand smoke

will you be able to remember how my youth sounded
by the time you read them again
i should apologize to my lungs, but it's you that i will always say sorry to
stargazer Jul 2020
i used to think love was free
when you came to me
but then you had your fill
and aphrodite came back with the bill
stargazer Jul 2020
step one.)
think. think of everything that people must hate about you.

step two.)
let it consume you until you forget to breathe

step three.)
drop microscopic hints to people that you're not okay

step four.)
breakdown when they don't get it

step five.)
make excuses for them

step six.)
fear that they do get it, but you just bother them so much that they don't care

step seven.)
stop talking

step eight.)
start overeating, or eating nothing (with practice, you may be able to do a combination of both)

step nine.)
watch tv until you fall asleep on the couch every night

step ten.)
don't shower

step eleven.)
go numb

step twelve.)
receive a notification on your phone that sends you spiraling into self loathing and wondering why the hell you did this in the first place because it doesn't make it better. it doesn't. it doesn't

step thirteen.)
feel selfish for even thinking about bothering anyone again just to satisfy your own stupid craving for attention

step fourteen.)
finally reach out

step fifteen.)
repeat steps one through fourteen. again and again and again.

step sixteen.)
sick of this.

stargazer Jun 2020
i still wish you never showed me that song
because something so beautiful
shouldn't hurt me so much
  Jun 2020 stargazer
will it be

to be human?

will skin be


will we
be able to

my heart is so heavy.

i am not black, but i hear you. i am not black, but i see you. i am not black, but i stand with you. i am not black, but i will fight for you.

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