Remember when we were kids,
you asked me
"boy, what you wanna do
with the rest of your life?"
I said "have a couple kids
with you as my wife."
Then you started laughing.
Said "that ain't never gonna happen." Ten years later,
now we both have rings.
Got the house and money
for baby things.
Getting ready to be parents
for the first time.
I say "I know right now,
things are going our way.
But baby, if I ever lose my way,
will you take me back
to my first broken heart.
Take me back to when I didn't know where to start.
Take me back to the country roads. Take me back to the town no one knows.
If I ever fall too far off track,
Baby, take me back.

do you ever get depressed
not knowing what’s coming next
not able to undo the past
despite your efforts the good won’t last

smoking every day making my life hazy
cuffed in place with these chains of daisies

folding playing cards when i didn’t used to
it’s the little things that make me miss you

she'd found a reason to keep going
for the meantime anyways
but the months are ticking by
and I think she's lost her way

see, her eyes they've stopped a-sparkling
and her skin is growing pale
she walks around half cloaked in smoke
and reeking of cheap ale

~

she met a boy
who did her wrong
she doesn’t know
how she’ll go on
without him, there’s something lost
but how can you lose what never was?

downing pills; oxycontin candy
she’s going numb but feeling dandy
eyes grow heavy, pulse begins to drop
the silence is deafening
waiting for her heart to stop
the hours tick by with no end in sight
left questioning whether she even did it right

woke up in a tub of ice
no surprise, it’s already happened twice
fingertips turned a pale blue hue
blood stains on the covers spell[ing] out “i love you”
bodiless whispers echo through the halls
broken light fixtures and blood on the walls
open windows calling out to her (me)
urging her on to set herself (myself) free

why cant i forget you
i thought i’d finally put you out of my mind
i don't love you anymore
i wish i could leave your memory behind

i think about you more than i’d like to admit

when will i stop dreaming of you?

will i be homesick forever?

there's a ghost in the basement
who comes out when it's raining

i don’t know what he wants
but i don’t want him to go

i find comfort in the hauntings
and i hate to admit this

but i think i’m more afraid
of being alone

got all these voices in my head
and monsters in my bed
and memories of words and things
i can't recall i said

If given the chance to have 5 minutes with you, I want to share this with you:

Your music keeps me going. You may have heard that sentence a thousand times. So, if you would allow me to paint you a picture.

I work in a job I don't like. The job itself is not bad. It's actually very meaningful. I thought meaningful was enough for me. Apparently, it is not; I want it to be both meaningful and something I truly enjoy.

Enjoy in a sense that even though it's difficult, it is something I'll wake up for. It's something that would make me forget time. And for me, that is singing, acting, performing, and teaching. But it is not my reality right now.

So, every Monday, I drag myself to work. As each day passes, the guilt of being late subsides to none. Sadly, the thought of having a responsibility to other people has become less compelling for me to work. I've spiraled into deeper, and darker realms where I've lost control over my mind and body.

And to force myself, a desperate attempt to get up, I play your songs. Next thing I know, I sing your tune, dance to your beat, then the impossible starts to happen. I begin to cook food for myself to eat, I open my laptop, and get started on my emails -- I finally have enough to start my day, to get it going.

These maybe simple, mundane things -- but they mean my livelihood, my future, my life. You help me live my life.

Thank you for your music. I hope you stay truthful to your tune, to your beat, to your message.