What is Love? Love is October, yes the season fall is what defines Love.. I miss you. I really miss the fall with you, and oh how I miss how your nose turns red when it gets chilly out and how your face turns so pale and you can see all the aspects of your eyes, how your lips get chapped at the end of the year, and how when you hold my hand in the cold, I miss how your hand fits right into mine and how your numb fingertips lingered around my hand so softly.. i miss you pulling me close to stay warm, oh how I miss sitting on the front porch in your rocking chairs, and taking you under that one big tree at your old house on Halloween Night and kissing you softly.. I miss the smell of your hair when you haven't washed it, the way you bite your fingernails. Everything good happens in the fall, i guess that why i latched onto you in September of 2008, because you're my one and only soul mate.

Crawling down your spine
"Here you are again"
Making us feel so cold
Not like a sugar cane

Worn out from love
Beaten from giving
I find no time to reason
But here I am living.

These are the chills of love
Sending shivers to our heart,
Don't pray that it will go.
It is the feeling that you will miss most.

Silhouettes
Shadows
Sights, dancing before my eyes
Voices
Noise, grazing my ear canals
Touch
A subtle whisper
Breath on my neck
Shivers.
Inhale
Exhale
Eyes finding eyes
Gazes held
Hands
Feeling, always feeling
Too close
For comfort
Closer still
Perfect
-ly horrid.
Cause to
My demise

 *s.q.

When I think of you I get shivers down my spine.
It is getting kind of hard to walk in a straight line,
and my body is getting weary.

Tired of the lies that I can clearly see through your
unforgiving eyes.
Times when we fight, but have no will to survive.

It is times like those that I realize that maybe,
just maybe, we were never meant to be.

But I can't live like this, not knowing what
could have been.

My dear,
I've just had the most terrifying thought.
One that sends shivers down my spine,
And not the good kind of shivers.
The ones that jab at you in the dark.
The ones that come from boogie men
And monsters under the bed.
This thought,
This fear,
It hits me like a swift kick to the chest
For just a split second.
And then I hear it running away from behind me,
Fleeting footsteps echoing into the distance.
Still partially audible.
This thought,
This fear,
Flees like a mischievous child.
After shouting directly into my ear cavity:
What if you never found her?
The thought nearly stops me in my tracks.
I am the person I am because of her place in my life.
What if I never even met her?
I can barely imagine the idea of this bliss
Somehow not existing.
Maybe another me in some parallel universe
Is truly alone.
I feel sad for her,
That she will never know this
Swirling,
          Terrifying,
                  Mystifying,
                            Incredible feeling,
Something that everyone deserves to feel.
Free will spins a complicated spider web.
Every decision you make
Affects you and the others around you,
Either holding them up or pulling them down.
What if I'd made a different choice,
Just one minuscule detail.
What if I'd turned right instead of left,
Or used pencil instead of pen,
Or carried paper instead of plastic?
One wrong move could have led me off the path to you.
The thought makes me want to drop down to my knees
And thank God
That I decided to lift the branches and find this hidden walkway
Into an unknown territory
That so quickly became
Familiar.
Home.